One flaw that any of us can make in dealing with other people is simply inserting our own experience. Instead of gathering facts and asking questions, we jump to conclusions. Often these are not based on our experiences with that person but on dealing with others.
Whenever we use our history as a gauge for the actions of others, we assume that things will turn out the same. Unfortunately, that is simply not a fair comparison.
This works itself out in both positive and negative ways. We can expect evil from a good person and expect goodness from an evil person.
Just because your father did something awful does not mean your husband will too. Likewise, just because your mom handled situations this way doesn’t mean your wife will too.
These are dangerous assumptions that usually leave one party hurt and confused.
Before you draw conclusions on the behavior of others, take the time to ask yourself: Is this coming from what I have seen from this person previously, or am I inserting the actions of others onto their life?