It has been several months since I posted any articles. During that time, I have read hundreds of posts, here are some of the best for you to read and enjoy.

Why Hollywood Praises Elliot Page (and Blacklists Me)

Everyday Ways to Reconnect and Nurture Your Relationship

Rituals of Gratitude

How We Can Be More Thankful People

Covid-19 Mandates – Should We Always Submit?

Sisters, You Have Permission to Lead an Ordinary Life

NEW TRENDS: 4 WAYS THE PANDEMIC IS NEGATIVELY IMPACTING PEOPLE

3 Warning Signs Politics Is Becoming Your Religion

Why Living Our Lives With An Audience is Killing Us

Qarrtsiluni

Watch this about #TroyBoy – the best 14 minutes you will spend all Christmas … and bring a tissue.

Between the ages of 18 and 28, I knew absolutely everything.  I knew how to lead a Church, be successful in ministry, have a healthy marriage, raise Godly children, and live the life God desired of me.  The only problem was that I had done none of those things.  However, I had a college degree, lots of secondhand experience, and all the confidence in the world. 

With each passing year of my life, I have realized how little I know.  My first full-time ministry kicked me in the teeth and left me stunned by the blow.  I have never achieved any level of success in ministry as I am little known outside of the Church I lead.  Marriage proved to be far more complicated than I imagined as my wife and I try to take two unique individuals and make them one couple.  Raising children is a roller coaster ride that will not stop even as they head into their adult lives.  The mistakes I have made are far more numerous than I hoped.  Sin grabbed me by the throat and refused to let go of me.  Even when I get victorious in one area of my Christian life, another struggle begins, and the evil one smiles as he flips over and repositions his grip.  The failures have been far more numerous than the successes.

This morning I looked in the mirror at the wrinkles on my face, the crow’s feet by my eyes, and the ever-decreasing amount of hair on my head and wondered where that overly confident boy went.  He has long since faded into a middle-aged man who seems to know extraordinarily little about life.   

One thing has drastically changed through the years beyond my appearance.  My faith is more significant to me than ever.  The more I realize I have little I truly know, the more I am forced to depend on God.  I spend less time patting myself on the back and more time on my knees, pleading with God to work through my incompetence.  I am not sure how to lead a Church, know I will never be successful, unsure why my wife would stay with me, hurt over my children’s decisions, and feel the pain of my stupidity, but I am confident that God will somehow use me. 

The younger version of me would be embarrassed by who I have become today. But the current version of me is happier than ever.  I feel less stress as I throw all my burdens on God.  I lean into his strength and knowledge and not my own. Faith has taught me to enjoy the good times, be surprised at the successes, and smile about all God is doing despite my inadequacies.  The older I get, the less I know, but the more I trust the one who knows everything.   

Numerous people have said that line to me. They reflected on a time of teaching, a particular message, a conference they attended, a book they read, or even a podcast and felt like it was a turning point in their life.

My question is simple, “Did it change your life or just change your thinking?”

Several years ago, I heard Edwin Louis Cole say a line that challenged me the more I thought about it. He was preaching, and he quipped, “Change is not change until you change.” Meaning that real change only happens when we see something different occurring in your life than what we previously saw. You have not really changed your life until others can see the results in your actions.

Unfortunately, most of us equate a shift in thinking with a change of life. The two are not the same because it is one thing to know the right thing to do and quite another to do it.

I am glad that the material you experienced challenged your thinking about aspects of your life, but the goal is to act more like Christ. Change is not change until you change.

This past year I had to update my wardrobe as I lost weight.  The most affordable place for me to do this was thrift stores, where I could buy used clothing.  I have been in every Goodwill, Salvation Army, and secondhand store looking near me for clothing items.  The easiest thing to find was T-shirts that would fit me, and they were always under two dollars.  

The only issue with these shirts is that they come with a logo or picture on them of something. Without exception, the information on the shirt does not match anything I have done in life.  In fact, my youngest son and I try to find the most outrageous shirt and get that one to make people ask questions.  I have one from a college fraternity with the name “Patch” on the back.  I also have one from a Garth Brooks tour, a casino in Cincinnati, a Church in Kansas City, a boy scout camp in Indiana, and a variety of colleges I have never visited. 

Little did I know when I first started purchasing these shirts, how many questions they would raise.  One day alone, I had two individuals ask me about the casino.  Others have made some comments on a college shirt as if I had visited there.  People have not only read the shirts as I wear them, but they have also assigned me actions I never performed to get those shirts.  It is both funny and exciting to see what happens every time I pick out a new one.

Then I was scrolling through a Christian bookstore online, and I wondered about their items.  They sold Bibles, Christian books and music, decorations, and even clothing.  All the things I saw screamed to the world, “I am a follower of Jesus.” Yet, none of them are genuine indicators of true faith.  My fear is that some people surround themselves with enough of these things that they come to believe that you are something you are not.  If they were asked, “Are you a Christian?” they would respond with, “I own a Bible … and have you seen the religious decorations in my home.” 

There is a vast difference between owning religious paraphernalia and having an authentic relationship with Jesus.  One costs some money, and the other requires your heart and soul. 

A local Church was hosting a blood drive through the Red Cross last week. They took over the building’s fellowship hall, and people were coming by all afternoon to donate. The goal was to get several gallons to bless the local hospital, especially through the holiday season. It is an interesting endeavor as the nurses were there to take blood from people willing to donate it for the benefit of others.

That night I was scrolling through the movies on my streaming service and saw the Twilight series of films about a group of vampires. Vampires are fictional characters that subsist by feeding on the blood of the living. They also collect blood from people, but it is for their benefit only.

The next day two different people came through the front door of my Church to visit. One walked out, leaving me full of joy and peace afterward. The other left me feeling sad and depleted. One wanted to serve others with the grace of God. One wanted to take from the Church and complain while doing it. One smiled and spoke of blessings, while the other had only depressing stories of defeat. One of them came bringing life, and the other came to suck the life out of me.

Everyone walks through their day, making an impact on others. Are you like the Red Cross or a vampire?

We live in a time when people are feeling scared, sad, frustrated, confused, and uncertain. Many of these emotions are not the result of sin but a confusing year filled with Covid related issues.

Here is my simple response to however you are feeling right now. Don’t go through this alone. Whatever emotions are tearing at your heart, someone else is feeling it too and wants to help. Perhaps, no one can fully understand what you are feeling, but the best thing to do is lock arms and walk into the darkness together.

While it is usually associated with the military, collateral damage refers to any incidental damage caused by an activity. 

I often read about the struggles caused by divorce and a broken relationship in this way.  When two people separate, there will be an impact on children, friends, jobs, and all overlapping connections.  There is relationship collateral damage.  It is frequently used in the business setting as well.  A company is bought and sold, and the workers can find their job leaving as a part of the collateral damage. 

What I want to suggest to you today is that there is collateral damage in faith too.  Whenever someone falls to sin and gives into temptation, it impacts more than just the person involved.  Our sins, mistakes, failures, trespasses, and ungodly behavior ripple out into every corner of our life.  One major blunder can change the course of your life, and also your children’s lives, your friends, the class you teach, and the ministry you lead.  Unfortunately, one conversation I repeatedly have is with a young person who is disillusioned by a believing adult’s choices.  Every time we step out of God’s will, it sends out a wave that will ripple over the lives of others, especially young people. 

So the next time you are tempted to disobey God, one question to ask yourself is, “how will my choice impact others?” Sometimes that one extra question will give you the strength to say no and move away from that sin that is so enticing.

Each life is the result of the positive influences of others through Jesus.  It can also be damaged by the negative actions of others when they don’t follow Jesus.  One failure can change a person’s life in ways you never imagined; keep that in mind the next time evil whispers in your ear, “No one is going to get hurt.” 

One of the phrases that God keeps bringing to my mind lately is, “Keep pouring your life into people.” These words are becoming clearer to me as I am only 13 months away from turning 50 years old, and in that time, my youngest will leave home, and I will have an empty nest. Like so many people, my life is moving into a new phase, and with it comes new responsibilities as a believer.

Perhaps the most significant thing each one of us who follows Jesus can do is pour our lives out for God. But it is equally important that what we pour out is filling up other people. Throughout your life, God allows you to gain an enormous amount of knowledge. Some of it comes from books, but that majority comes from life experiences. You have learned through success and failure what does and does not work in this life. You also have skills and talents that can be taught to others and used for their benefit.

The temptation when you reach a certain age is to set back and coast. You tell yourself, “I just need a little time for myself.” Phrases like “It is time for someone else to step up” become your excuse for inactivity. What if instead of setting the cruise control for comfort, we took what we know and have experienced and shared it with someone younger? What if we poured out a lifetime of insights gained into a person who is just starting?

There are a thousand ways to do this, and all you need to do is have to find one that works for you. You can step up to teach a class, volunteer in a prepared position, mentally adopt a young person to help, become a mentor, be a youth group sponsor, coach a team, lead an organization or pray daily for random people who you might bless.

Through the years, I have watched person after person slip into the comfort of self-absorption as they move into the second half of their life. The call of a believer is not to retire but reenlist. We are to take what God has given us over the first half and help someone who is now on that journey as a single adult, newly married couple, or just starting a family. Life is hard, and people need all the help they can get. God has spent your life pouring into you; now it is time for you to tip the handle and pour back into others for the good of his kingdom.

A lady who worked in research most of her life stated that her goal was to study people’s behavior and trends to predict and control future actions. As a result of this type of research, we have things like polls to determine what people think to help us know how future events will transpire. We also have tests performed like Pavlov’s dogs to understand how the simple ringing of a bell can control our desires. Researchers then provide their findings to everything from psychologists to marketing companies.

This desire to control and predict is, I believe, part of how God wired us together as humans. When humanity was created, it was to have dominion over the world God had made. This work includes planting and sewing, but it also involves preparing and planning. In an effort to be good stewards of the Lord’s creation, humanity started researching what he had given them.

The problem with this mindset is that you cannot then turn and apply it to God. We will always fail when we try to predict or control the actions of the Lord. I have seen it lead people to frustration in their faith. For some, it will push them away as God does not do what they desire. They say prayer X, and therefore God should do Y. They go to Church with their spouse for several weeks; therefore, God should heal their marriage. They attend two months of Bible study and deepen their knowledge of faith, and then God should give them that thing they want. “If we do this, then God will do that” type of thinking will always leave us disappointed with God.

One challenge of a believer is to let go of the research mindset. We are called to listen closely to God’s voice and follow him, never wholly knowing what will happen. That is why it is called faith. It requires trust that God is doing the right thing at the correct time and in the best possible way. God is beyond our control, and we cannot predict his actions correctly. We need to accept this as part of our journey of faith for us to experience joy. We never know when and how God will work and what exactly it will look like in our life. Faith is giving God control and us having no ability to predict or control what will happen next.

Last Saturday, my youngest son played in his last high school football game.  The loss that ended his season also brought to completion an era in my life.  My four boys have been involved in football for a total of 14 years.  All of them played in youth leagues, Pop Warner, Jr. High, and High School.  At one point, my wife and I were watching four games every week.  She and I have spent an unbelievable amount of time in the stands and on the sidelines watching the boys play every position on the field.  Our stories are many, and we have learned a couple of lessons along the way.  Today I wanted to share the most significant thing we learned.    

Youth sports should be FUN. 

In the early days, I was an obsessed father.  I pushed the boys to work hard, got angry at refs, and yelled at people, especially coaches.  When others were not meeting my expectations, I stepped up as a coach.  Then the game happened where I had a meltdown.  I screamed and yelled and let out all my frustration.  It embarrassed me, but it forced me to take a long look in the mirror.  As their father, I had to admit I was one of the people who was killing the fun of sports.  From that day on, I began to adjust my attitude and shut my mouth.  If I were honest, it took a few more years before I was completely willing just to let sports be fun. 

Don’t build your life or your child’s life around sports.  If you do, it will set both of you up for heartache and disappointment.   Scholarships are a mirage, and professional sports are for elite players.   Overpriced colleges like to offer small scholarships to get your kids to come to play so that the college receives the large tuition.  It is a business that thrives off the dreams of young athletes.  You know by the time they are in high school if they are a one in a million elite kid.  They win state championships for big schools or physical gifts that make them a freak of nature. Parents have to get their kids to understand the point of each sport is not some payout at the end but a journey of enjoyment with friends. 

Since those early days and my attitude changed, my boys have been criticized for one thing.  Usually, a coach tells me, “They don’t take it seriously enough.” Others have said, “They spend too much time having fun in practice.” Every time I hear something like that, I smile and laugh.  I know what I want my boys to remember about these days of youth football.  I want them to look back with joy at the good times they experienced, the friends they made, that one memorable play, and smile over all the fun it brought to them. 

When my son walked off the field on Saturday, neither he nor I cried because it was not the end of a dream. Instead, he came over with a smile and hugged his mother and me.  We told him we were proud of him, and we look forward to the next thing in his life.   No regrets, only happiness.