People speak with a mental filter. I know this is true because I have watched them change their tone, content, and language when they find out I am a preacher. Suddenly, the filter only allows things through that they think I will find appropriate.

This mental filter was learned through their parents for some people, and it has tiny holes in it. They strain out so much bad stuff that anything remotely questionable seems out of character. Others were not raised by parents who were committed Christians, and the holes in their filters are large. This allows lots of things through that you might think they have no filter at all.

Occasionally, the filter does not catch something. Call it a moment of weakness, being real, or speaking your mind. Blame it on being tired, angry, or frustrated. You say something, and you can tell by the look on other peoples’ faces that you crossed a line.

Those misspoken words were then taken wrong. Other people were offended or hurt. They didn’t understand how you could say that. How could you be so thoughtless, mean, cruel, and ignorant?

You, on the other hand, are embarrassed. Regret and guilt fill your mind and your soul. The statement keeps racing through your brain, “I probably should not have said that.” At least not to those people and in that way. I never meant to hurt or offend anyone. It was a mistake. I am sorry for any pain I might have caused.

One challenge for a believer is not to hold onto every word you hear. One aspect of loving each other is that we are to “keep no record of wrongs.” If the followers of Jesus are truly going to love one another, then we will have to let some things go.

Through the years, I had experienced people getting mad at me over something I said or wrote. Some have left the Church I lead in anger and frustration. Others have run my name down because of one stupid comment. Today I want to acknowledge that we all say things we regret. I promise not to hold them against you if you promise not to hold them against me. Together we can practice the grace of Jesus by saying, “You are forgiven for some things you probably should not have said.”

The first day of a new adventure is exciting and terrifying.  You wake up early to start on a new course that will make your life better.  People cheer, and social media buzzes with enthusiasm for you on this new venture.  How incredibly motivating?

On the last day of your journey, there will also be a celebration.  People gather at the finish line to watch you make those final few strides.  You accomplished your goals, and everyone takes notice of your perseverance and hard work.

Today is day 286.  This is the kind of day that breaks your spirit.  Your motivation is low as you drag yourself out of bed to take on the week.  There is no excitement like at the beginning or will be at the end.  It is an ordinary day on the calendar, and no one will be celebrating you making it two-thirds of the way to your destination. 

The test of a person’s character and fortitude happens today.  Do you have what it takes to work through the blahs and make it to the end?  This is the day we find out.   

I thought about entitling this article, “Let me tell you this again.” I frequently tell people these simple ways to bless others at Church gathering, and if you have not heard them from me, you have probably heard them somewhere.  Here is a list of little things you can do to be a blessing every Sunday morning or any time the Church has a meeting.

-Park far away and save the “best” spots close to the door for others.

-Arrive early enough to talk and not be rushed, yet still be on time.

-Smile and be friendly to people in the parking lot.

-Hold the door for others.

-Say, “Good morning” and “Hello” to everyone.

-Don’t just talk to people you know.

-Go to the bathroom before worship to not have to get up and be a distraction in the program.

-In 2020, use hand sanitizer.  

-Sit at the front.  Save the back for people who are new or late.

-Sit at the inside of your row so that people do not have to climb over you for a chair. 

-Introduce yourself to someone new. 

-Smile.

-Sing loudly and at least act like you have the joy of the Lord.

-Shake hands (when appropriate).

-Ask people about themselves and listen to the answer.

-Stay awake. (Taking notes will help – trust me)

-Smile more and talk to people after the program is over.

-Clean up your area of any trash for the people in the next program who sit there.

-Don’t be in a rush, be willing to visit with people as you leave. 

-Be kind and friendly to everyone once again.

-Hold the door. 

-Let others go ahead of you out the door and out of the parking lot.

-Smile and wave as you leave.

-Talk positively about your Church to other people on Sunday afternoon.

-Invite people to join you next week and see what God is doing with such a kind, happy joy-filled group of people who are willing to elevate others in even small ways. 

Rarely a week goes by that I do not talk to someone about how to improve their marriage. The relationship between a husband and a wife is one of the most fulfilling connections a human being can have in life, but it is also the most difficult to maintain. Today I thought I would share a few of the most common advice I give couples and maybe they will help you have a better marriage starting today.

1. Conflict is seldom the result of one issue. You might be fighting with your spouse about how to handle your children best. This one problem is generated from family of origin struggles, communication failures, spiritual differences, and overbearing in-laws (to name a few). To improve your marriage, you need to determine the most significant issue and work on that first. Quite often, communication is the key to getting started in the right direction. Learn to communicate well, and it opens the other doors to a healthy relationship.
2. Work at recovering what was lost. When a couple falls apart, one of the culprits is that they both quit acting like they did when they were dating. They stop spending time together, talking and genuinely listening, seeing the best in the other person, and being the best version of themselves. One key for you to rebuild your marriage is to go back and do some of the things you did at first. Have a date night with no kids and no cell phone. Dress up and go out. Smile and open the car door for her. Hold hands. Kiss passionately. Do that every week and things will begin to change.
3. Do one thing together you both enjoy. Find your one thing as a couple. This one activity can range from walking together, watching movies, being outdoors, playing games, sports, and a thousand other possibilities. Once you find the thing both of you like doing, do it together often and watch how quickly you become more friendly.
4. Small things often. Do not worry about planning a big date night or a fancy vacation if you do not have the time or money. You can do one small thing every day that improves your spouse’s life. Make a meal without complaining, pick up your laundry, bring home a rose, shut your phone off and look them in the eye when talking, praise them in front of others, and on and on it goes. Find a way to make a small investment in your marriage every day, and you will be surprised how your love grows.
5. Practice forgiveness. Have a short memory of failures. Say “I am sorry” often. Speak the words, “You are forgiven,” and never mention what happened again. Let go of grudges. Offer kindness instead of anger. All great marriages have failures. The difference between poor and great relationships is how they handle their failures. Be full of grace, mercy, and love toward them, and let them practice it toward you.

These are all elementary things you can do to improve your marriage. Behind all these ideas is the truth that you can make your marriage better. Start working today, and you can begin to enjoy the rewards in the near future. Trust me, I have seen it work hundreds of times.

I have often said that my life would be a mess without Jesus. That is true in many ways, as I need his grace, guidance, and work in my life.

There are other ways in which my life might have been better without Jesus. At least it would seem better at first glance to many people. I mean, without Jesus, I would never have to think about Church. Every weekend would be completely free to do what I want. That would also mean I would never have to worry about serving others over the weekend – so more time for me and the things I want.

Beyond that, I would not have to concern myself with generosity. I could keep every dollar I make for my pursuits. As a family who seeks to tithe, this would be a substantial financial bonus. Remove my financial gifts to the Church plus add in all the gifts my wife and I give to Church members each year along with those in need, and we would have more resources than I can imagine.

Finally, consider how demanding follow the will of Jesus can be for someone. For my family following Jesus has meant moving to a new city and starting a new Church from scratch. It has meant moving all over the country to serve in different Churches. With each move, I have separated my children from my immediate family and friends. The Lord has stretched my family and me to pursue his will in different locations and ways. Without him, I could have lived in the same town my whole life, near my family and friends.

If I did not have Jesus in my life, I could have more time, money, and security. The only thing I would not have is eternal life. When the crowds heard Jesus tell them the cost of following him, many people turned back. He asked his twelve disciples if they would leave too, and Peter responded for the group. “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68)

Peter realized that if we are only living for this life, following Jesus is not a good choice. Paul said to the Church in Corinth that if our faith in Jesus is only for this life, then we above all men should be pitied. Following Jesus does make this life better in some ways, but far worse in others. The only reason to keep yourself committed in faith to Jesus is because of eternity. Sure, it may make this life worse, but it will only make what happens after death that much sweeter.

You can decide to have the pleasures and comfort of this life, but only Jesus has the words of eternal life. I chose to follow him even when it does not make sense today because I am not living for today alone.

Yesterday I was inspired by THIS ARTICLE on one of the blogs that I follow. After reading it, I decided to make my own list of confessions about how I feel after over seven months of dealing with COVID and all the issues it has brought into the Church.

1. I am struggling to find direction. The Church leaders and I planned a 2020 vision (like many Churches did this year). It was a list of things we hoped to accomplish in the next five years. When the pandemic started, we were able to stay focused on several projects. As time drags on, it is becoming increasingly difficult to see the next steps we should take as a group.
2. 2020 was going to be the best year of this ministry so far. We started the year with the highest attendance and engagement of my time at this Church. Then in March, we shut down. Once we reopened, I was hoping to start small and regain some momentum. Last Sunday, we had the lowest attendance in my six years of leadership here, which is worse than when a blizzard started on Sunday morning.
3. My emotions have been all over the map. When we first shut down, I was happy as I thought it might be a nice break. Then I got sad because we could not get together. My sadness moved to anger and then frustration and next to bitterness. Now I feel sad and confused. I thought things would change and get better at some point, and it has merely not done it.
4. The social revolution going on in America has made things worse. I no longer trust any media outlet. Both sides are sharing part of the story, and I think many people are being deceived. The polarizing events of this past year are dividing well-intentioned people.
5. I am tired of people stretching the truth. I have had countless people tell me they won’t come to Church for worship because they are worried about how COVID will impact them or someone they love. Then I see them at Walmart, the school, ballgames, parades, and every other public event held in the community. What is worse is that they are usually not wearing masks or doing anything to protect themselves. I wish people would tell me the truth and say, “We don’t want to come to your Church anymore” or “we got a taste of doing our own thing on weekends, so we are going to keep doing that.” Please tell me the truth; I can work with that.
6. There seems to be no end in sight, and that is making me crazy. I am used to a summer slump where people are gone for a season. I always know that after Labor Day, things will change, and people will return. One of the last articles I read said this could go on for all of 2021. I talked to a nurse about it and said that it would be more like two years.
7. I am trying to trust God, but it is challenging. I wish I could say, “I know God will handle all of this, and we will be better on the other side.” This may be true in the long term, but it is not easy to see it right now. I am praying and asking for God to guide me and increase my faith. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this, so I keep asking God to give me enough wisdom to get through this day and the coming week.

I know all this isn’t very optimistic, but this is genuinely how I feel right now. It may not make you happy or be a blessing to your life, but you need to know that pastors like me are having a rough time this year, and I thought it might be time for you to hear the truth.

The preacher said, “Can I get someone to testify about the goodness of God?” The context was a worship gathering, and I know he wanted people to talk about something good going on in their life at the moment. 

People responded by walking to the front, taking the microphone, and telling stories about successful surgeries, families reunited, newfound faith, and the blessings God had given them that week.   It was inspiring, and people clapped, shouted “Amen,” and praised the Lord for his apparent greatness. 

I sat in silence.  It is not because I don’t have an anecdote about God’s blessing being poured out in my life.  Instead, I feel like my journey with God is an extended story that will take some explaining.  There were moments of deep spiritual connection where Jesus felt like a brother and a friend.  Also, there have been seasons where Jesus remained distant, and I was forced to sit quietly, waiting for him to show up.  Sometimes I have received a gift that proved to be a curse over time. Other times I have failed him, and the pain later gave way to the grace I needed.  The steps on this journey have been unpredictable, with numerous twists and turns.  People have stood beside me as his strength in dark hours, while those I thought would never leave abandoned me in the darkness. God’s work in my life is an intricate tale of failures and forgiveness, joy and pain, ups and downs, time alone, and surrounded by love, all while working out his plan for my life.  I cannot share with you one story that captures all the goodness of God in my life; it is a lifelong journey that keeps surprising me with every new day. 

This week God will add another page to my story.  It may come with some immediate feelings of happiness as I see his blessings.  It may be another week of the slow grind into eternity.  There may be no stories to tell, but it will be precisely what I need to get to the next phase.  God is good to me, and I know he is to you also, but to capture it, well, that is a long story.

In the gospel of Mark, Jesus sends out his twelve disciples on their first ministry trip in his name. Mark 6:7 says that Jesus did not send them out as individuals, which would have made sense. He could have twelve men working in different places, and their impact would have been multiplied. Instead, he cuts their efforts in half and sends them out in groups of two.

In Luke chapter 10, Jesus will send out the 72 people who have been following him throughout his ministry. Once again, he begins by telling them to find a buddy and stay together. He sends them out two by two to every town and place he is about to go (Luke 10:1).

In the book of Acts, Paul never travels alone. He does ministry with Barnabas by his side. He is also joined by John-Mark, Luke, Silas, and Timothy. Paul’s mission trips are always made in at least groups of two, even though Paul was highly capable of doing it by himself.

We live in an individualistic culture that likes to do everything alone, including our spiritual life. Scripture never paints a picture of the followers of Jesus, attempting anything alone. Faith is neither private nor personal. The experience of faith is lived out in community from our gatherings on Sunday morning to the sharing of Jesus on Tuesday night. Ministry is done together.

The call of the Church is not just to love Jesus, but to do it with one another. This action will open our eyes to a different perspective, help us see issues to which we might be blind, give us accountably, and challenge us in ways we never expected. Ministry with other people will not be easy, and it will stretch us and help us mature as believers. I also think that is the point.

Who are the people in your life?  What kind of people like you?

The truth is that your personality attracts certain people and repels others. 

People who gossip tend to attract people who love to tell stories about others.  Those who complain will often be friends with people who are pessimistic and are never happy.  Similar character issues easily connect to like people. 

On the flip side, positive people develop relationships with people who have an optimistic outlook, even in the face of difficulty.  Those who have strong faith in God are closest to other people who live by their belief in God. 

If you want to know yourself better, then look at the people in your life.  Honestly assess the people who hold a place in your life and determine their character.  They are a reflection of your heart – like it or not. 

It is easy to think that everyone loved Jesus.  He taught love, kindness, and grace.  Encounters with him resulted in healings to the lame, deaf, blind, and demon-possessed. 

The reality is that in the gospel of John, he says something that I did not expect. Jesus is preparing his disciples for his departure that will happen after his resurrection.  They do not have any understanding of what he is talking about, but the Holy Spirit will come and remind them of what Jesus said later.  In his words of preparation, he says this to them, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.” (John 15:18 – NIV 2011)

The world hated Jesus.  The people he helped, taught, and fed did not love him; instead, they hated him.  Why?  He goes on to explain in verse twenty-five that they did not have a reason. 

Recently I heard someone explain this phenomenon in a way that I had never heard.  He said something like this.  Imagine you are lying in bed on a cold, snowy Saturday morning.  It is dark, and you are sleeping soundly.  In comes your spouse or your parent, and they flip on the overhead light into the total darkness.  The room suddenly goes from night to glaring light, and our eyes immediately rebel against it.  We turn away and usually are full of anger, no matter who flipped the switch.   

The comparison is that when Jesus walked on the earth, he throws the light of God everywhere he went.  People who were living in darkness suddenly withdrew as the light hurt their eyes.  They responded in anger and hatred even though they had no idea what they were mad about at the time. 

Here is the strange twist.  Jesus says the way they treated me is an illustration of how they are going to treat you.  If you go forward in the name of Jesus, there will be people who hate you.  If you shine light into a dark world, there will always be people immediately upset with you.  Their anger will seethe, and they really will not have a great reason to feel that way. 

Yes, some people loved Jesus.  The majority hated him.  They hated him so much that they decided to kill him on a cross to get rid of him. 

This realization has me asking questions about myself.  Do I want people to love me?  If so, I will have to compromise to achieve this.  Do people hate me?  If not, I am probably not shining the light of God.  What if the effectiveness of a believer in Jesus is not how many followers they have but how many people hate them for the light they bring?