When I write and preach, I want to simplify things for people so that it is clear what they need to do for Jesus. I try to come up with anywhere from two to five simple thoughts or actions that will help them grow in their faith. I never want to complicate what God has said or make the way of Christ more difficult than what he made it.

Yet, I always have a line from a favorite teacher in mind. After hearing a sermon about the easy steps in following Jesus, he said, “I don’t find any Gethsemane in your sermon.” It is a statement that echoes in my head repeatedly when I think about the Christian life.

Jesus came to seek and save the lost. He came to give himself as a ransom for many. He knew what he came to do, how it needed to be done and was at harmony with God’s will. Still, the night before the cross he is found in a garden where they press olives. He leaves eight of his disciples at the gate and takes Peter, James, and John with him a little father than the rest. There he hits his knees in prayer and voices that painful phrase, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39 in NIV 2011)

We find Jesus at Gethsemane praying with sweat like great drops of blood. He struggles to accept God’s will, knowing it will be a painful experience. He is grounded in his faith and yet he works through his natural emotions until he surrenders entirely to God’s will.

The truth is that sometimes following Jesus is not simple. There are no simple steps to do the right thing. There are nights of anguish that include painful prayers of surrender. There are moments when you will beg for another way to accomplish God’s will. There are times when faith is difficult, and fleeing will seem more comfortable. When this happens, take comfort in knowing Jesus endured the same struggle in his life.

I also flip this story over and think about it from another direction. If I am truly following Jesus, then I should have my times in Gethsemane. If my journey of faith seems easy, then maybe I am doing it wrong. Jesus said that the way to destruction is broad and dark. The way of Jesus is narrow and difficult and winds through shady gardens where we want to give up on trusting God. If a struggle in our faith demonstrates that we are on the correct path, then when was the last time I wrestled with God in prayer?

Being in Gethsemane with Jesus is dark and scary because it leads us to the cross of sacrifice. This is the way of Jesus, and he invites us to walk with him. Where is the place where your life is being pressed in your faith?

Church consultant Lyle Schaller took the stage at the first “Church planters” conference I ever attended. He was an author and speaker who was known for his wisdom achieved from years of working with Churches. He said something that morning in Chicago that I have never forgotten. He told about how he will stand up before congregations and explain to them, “All of you sitting here are going to move, quit or die. We cannot count on any of you being here in 20 years.”

I literally cannot remember anything else he said that day, but he put something into words that I had noticed in ministry, but no one had articulated for me. Later on, I would hear it called an “attrition rate” by other people in the Church world. It is the concept that every year you are going to lose people in your Church community in one way or another.

In the early years of ministry, I said boldly, “Not on my watch.” I will teach, preach, lead and motivate in a way that no one will ever want to leave.” This just led to frustration as people still moved away to be closer to family or to make more money at a better job. I had no control over people and their decisions, and they left. Not only that, but people drifted away despite my best efforts. One couple was going through a rough patch in their marriage, and I allowed them to put me on speed dial. It seemed like every night they had a new fight, and I was there to help them through it. Once again, I failed, and after months of work they decided to divorce, and both of them left the Church.

It is estimated that at least twenty percent of the people who attend the Church I lead in January will not be there by the next January. Simply put, people will move, quit or die. Most Church communities need to add twenty percent new people, just to maintain their average attendance. The people who attend worship each week are a sea of ever-changing faces.

Unfortunately, even in communities of faith people will leave. It still breaks my heart, but I have come to the point where I do not take it personally. My goal is to help people on their journey with God as long as they are walking the same path with me. Maybe God brought us together so that I could teach them a little something. Perhaps he brought us together so that I could learn something. God only knows. Our job is to plant the seed of the gospel, water it and harvest it as God allows.

Being a part of a Church community means we will see people grow and mature in their faith, but it also means we will see people leave sometimes long before we wanted them to go. That’s okay, God is bigger than my Church and is doing his mighty work in ways I will never understand. Faith is trusting God with me and also with you.

Most Sunday’s in the life of the Church I lead we are blessed to have guests join us for worship. On any given Sunday we can have between one and five guest individuals or families. Through the years I have literally spoken with thousands of people who came as first-time guests to the Church where I serve as pastor. I have discovered several things from these encounters that might help you to understand all guests, including the friends and family who attend with you.

1. Beware of people from other Churches. I know some of you are immediately angry about me saying this, but it is the truth. There are two things I have consistently encountered with this group. First, they want this Church to have the best parts of their last Church. They want a high-powered small group ministry, or teen ministry or whatever. Usually, they are more interested in what is provided for them rather than leading anything. Second, is the opposite group of people. These people despise their last Church. Their feelings were hurt, and they are distancing themselves in every way. A wise old elder one time told me, “Anyone who comes here badmouthing their last Church, will eventually leave here badmouthing this Church.” Both groups have made me leery of people who come from other Churches to join us. There have been a few wonderful who come from other Churches, but these are the exception to the rule.

2. Don’t get excited about people who get excited. Occasionally someone will attend, and they are super excited about everything at the Church. They love the worship, the sermon, and the people. They pick up information, ask about classes and guarantee they will return. Usually, that is the last time I see them. Their excitement is fleeting and forgotten by the next Sunday. If they do return, they often only last a short time. Something else more exciting comes along, and they are on to the next activity.

3. Those who show little excitement are the most likely to return. Guests who attend and stand off to the side are frequently the most interested in what is happening. They were not expecting to like it or for people to be nice and they are pleasantly surprised. They stand back waiting to see if people will continue their hospitality or if it is a momentary show. They observe quietly while deciding if they will return. Many times, they will return for weeks before sharing any information with the office on a guest card and sometimes it takes two or three weeks before they pick up a guest bag. The whole time they like the Church but remain silent.

4. People who don’t immediately return are not gone forever. Most people attend Church with no plans ever to return. They are just there to make someone happy. As a result, the next four Sundays are already booked full. More than once I have seen it take a year before someone is able to join us for worship with any regularity. Gone this week does not mean forever.

Here is the harsh reality. Somewhere between fifty to eighty percent of guests will not return. They will not like the Church’s music, the preacher, the way people dress or whatever. Others will like what they experience and want to return. I usually lump them into one of the four groups above. Maybe this is you or someone you know. I hope you do not see these words as the ranting of a bitter old preacher; instead, these are the way my encounters have gone through the years. I love guests who come to worship with us, but those who stick are not usually the ones you would think.

One topic of discussion at almost every leadership meeting for more than a year has been the infrequency in which people come to Sunday morning worship. Just 20 years ago the average was for people to go to worship three out of four Sundays a month. Now the numbers are more like one in four each month. The numbers are dropping, and Church community is becoming increasingly difficult to cultivate as a leader.

But today instead of challenging you to attend more, laying on a guilt trip or searching for ways to improve the numbers, I am going to accept them. I recognize that for some people Church attendance will merely be less frequent for legitimate reasons. If that is the case, let me offer a few ways to stay connected.

1. Schedule to attend as much as possible. I suggest at the beginning of each month you look at your calendar and decide to attend every Sunday you are able.

2. Use social media. Our Church has Facebook, and we post updates, announcements, and information almost daily. We are looking for people to help us add other formats to keep every generation connected. If your Church does not have social media, then start it yourself.

3. Listen to the sermon. Every week I post the sermon from Sunday online, usually by evening on the day it was preached. That means that if you miss worship, you can still hear what the preacher is teaching. Once again, if your Church does not have this, then maybe you can provide it. I have a minister friend who has a person record the sermon on an iPad and then uploads it to YouTube every week.

4. Sign up for information. Our Church has a monthly email newsletter. You contact the office, and your name goes on a list. It is really just that easy. Most Churches I know have some kind of monthly communication whether it be print or digital.

5. Find out about a prayer team. Our Church has an email prayer team. Requests are submitted and emailed out immediately. Several of our older adults who do not use email has added a phone call list as those requests hit email. One way or the other everyone can stay updated on the needs of others.

6. Group life. Many Churches offer small groups to help people connect. Currently, we have two Sunday school classes and a Bible study for women. This does not need to be something formal created by the Church. Find a group of other believers and get connected in any way you can from game nights to special interest groups, to exercise buddies, or just hanging out over coffee.

I hate the direction that participation in worship is headed, but most Churches are working hard to help you connect. With a little effort, you can still be a part of a community even when you are separated for a season. How else have you found to stay connected to the body of Christ?

In the very early days of the first blog I wrote almost 15 years ago, I would have a weekly “mind dump.” I would take one post a week and share anywhere from five to fifty things that were on my mind. While I haven’t done that in much in the last few years, today I want to clear up my writing file and my head with a little mind dump. These are incomplete thoughts swirling around my mind that are not enough to fill a full post, but together they will make one.

1. Judgmental people will eventually judge you.

2. Recently I was watching the TV Show Parks and Rec when I heard Ron Swanson say something about a guy named Justin. I took note and googled the quote:
“He’s a tourist. He vacations in people’s lives takes pictures, puts them in his scrapbook, and moves on. All he’s interested in are stories. Basically, he’s selfish.”

3. Have you ever had a complete conversation/argument in your head before you talk to a person? Then you talk to them and find out that all your thoughts, ideas and assumptions were wrong? Yeah, me neither.

4. It amazes me the number of times the Bible talks about false teachers and their teaching. Within the first 100 years of the Church, people were already distorting the gospel for various reasons, while the apostles were still alive. Guarding against false teaching is always important.

5. Christianity touches on every aspect of life. It is not a singular discipline. It touches on philosophy, psychology, science, politics, compassion, ethics, spiritualism and world religions. One failure within the Church is that it is hard to teach about all these equally well.

6. Maybe the problem is spiritual. Recently I have read of all kinds of evil going on in the world right near me from bullying, suicide, addiction, to abuse. Most people speak of these in terms of problems but rarely do they talk about the condition of the heart and soul behind them. When we divorce ourselves from God and spiritual life we are left with good intentions and failure.

7. My heart is breaking for our teenagers. They have little connection to God and parents who don’t care.

8. There is a difference between good work and God’s work. God’s work is always good, but good work is not always Godly. In fact, I fear that good works can keep us from God because we think we are good enough without Jesus.

9. Psalm 20:7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

10. I now subscribe to 153 blogs on my blog reader called Feedly. Monday through Friday I receive 75-100 new posts. I read about ten a day entirely and skim another ten. Part of learning is digesting the right material. Maybe this post had something for you or perhaps not. Either way, thanks for reading and have a good weekend.

Every night I tell my boys, “I love you.” Whenever my children leave the house, I tell them, “Make good choices.” My wife or I will state again, “Be careful.” Before any sports activity, I will say, “Have fun and do your best.”

The list of things I say over and over is long and relatively basic. Why do I do it? Why do most parents say the same things time and time again? We do it because we want to make sure this one concept is seen as important, so much so, that it becomes second nature. I want my family to have no doubts about how I feel toward them. I want my children to enjoy life and the things they do in a positive way. I repeat myself, so they never forget.

If this is true, then how many times should we talk to our children about God? How many times should we read the Bible with them? How many times do our children need to hear those stories repeated and taught?

When we repeat the same things over and over, sure there is a possibility that our words will be lost in the noise of life, but that is precisely why we repeat them. They do not get the significance of my words with one hearing.

I hope that when my children think of their father, they say, “I have no doubt that he loved me deeply.” I also hope that when my children think of their heavenly father, they have no doubt that he loves them too.

Let me be straightforward with you – there are days I struggle with feelings of worthlessness.

I look back at my life and see a mountain of disappointment and failure. The shame of my mistakes and sins weigh on my soul. I have lost more battles than I have won.

I look around, and I realize my insignificance. I do not lead a big Church or have power in my community. Most of the people who listen to me each week, care little about what I say.

I look forward, and I see no change on the horizon. I will keep leading my little Church in my corner of the world with no accolades or awards. Right now, I plan on preaching as long as God enables me and then I will fade into the background at retirement.

Most days I have every reason to feel an emptiness in my soul.

Whenever these feelings arise, I go back to my identity as revealed in God’s word.

1. I am created in the image of God. I am not just another animal thrown onto a planet by random chance. God knit me together in my mother’s womb. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

2. I am God’s unique creation. When God put me together, he made me incredibly unique. I am not like anyone else. My thoughts, experiences, and dreams make me one of a kind. I am not supposed to feel like I fit in with everyone, my goal is to be God’s unique gift to the world.

3. I am redeemed in Jesus Christ. God loved me so much that he sent his son to die for my sins. Not only did he create me, but he fixes the bad parts through Jesus.

4. I am part of a family. When I came to Jesus, I joined a group of other people who were following him. Sure, that group has many dysfunctional issues, but they are still my family. Whenever I need support, all I have to do is ask.

5. I have a future in heaven. Jesus went to prepare a place for you and me. One day he is coming back to get me, or I am going to meet him. At that moment, I have the hope of Jesus for eternity.

Whenever feelings of inadequacy fill my mind, I go back to the essential truths found in the Bible. These are where my true identity is discovered.

No one can shout at me enough to remove these truths. No amount of failure can invalidate his promises. There is nothing that can separate me from my God.

Dark feelings will come. They will come to you and me. In those days, your identity will be tested. My thoughts are unchanged by circumstance. I hope yours are too.

Today I am doing a little reflecting about my life. This has me thinking about two things. One is the way God created me. Two, the concepts that shape my life. Here are the biggest thoughts that guide me from the Bible. (All quotes are from the New International Version 2011 edition).

1. 1 Timothy 1:16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.
– I am a miserable sinner, and God saved me. I pray it is a testimony to the power of God

2. 2 Timothy 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.
– One of my life goals is to correctly handle the truth found in the Bible.

3. Matthew 28:19-20 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
– God has a desire to see more and better disciples. I give my life to this service.

4. 2 Timothy 4:2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.
– I am called to preach.

5. Acts 20:20 You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house.
– I preach and teach information that is helpful to anyone on a spiritual journey.

6. 1 Corinthians 9:22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.
– I will try anything to help people know Jesus.

7. Mark 10:42-45 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
– Leadership is about service. Nothing more.

8. Titus 1:5 The reason I left you in Crete was that you might put in order what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you.
– A Church leader, the pastor or preacher, has a responsibility to set things in order.

9. Hebrews 13:17 Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.
– I am to keep watch over people as one who will give an account to God.

10. John 3:30 He must become greater; I must become less.
– Everything I do is for God’s glory and not my own.

This is my list. I frequently revisit these passages to remind me of purpose in life and ministry. What passages guide your life? I would love to hear the thoughts that inspire you every day.

Over the last 15 years youth sports, particularly basketball and football, have been a significant part of my life. I have four boys, and all of them have been involved in one sport or another since about third grade. Through the years I have watched hundreds of games and spent uncounted hours in bleachers. During this time with my boys, I have had the opportunity to watch boys grow into adults over each season. Those precious little tikes become awkward middle schoolers and by their senior year have beards.

Through the years I have noticed a fundamental flaw in all youth sports. I rarely hear anyone talk about it, but I think it is worth considering if you have children walking this path. I believe youth sports give children a wrong concept about their value and worth at an early age.

On one side we have the group of kids who excel when they are young. They are faster than the other boys, maybe a little taller or possibly physically stronger. As a result, they get the starting position and are thrust into the role of team star. I especially notice this when a boy gets his “man body” earlier than the rest of the children. Do you know what I am talking about? That one boy who is over six-foot-tall when the rest of the boys are barely four-foot-tall. Suddenly they are a big deal, and quickly they begin to feel there is something special about themselves. Many times, their parents even buy into the hype. They talk about how talented their child is and how hard they work when I want to point out that their child is just bigger than everyone else their age.

On the flip side is another group of kids who flounder in team sports. They usually fall into one of two subcategories. There is one section of kids who are small. Their bodies are behind everyone else, and they are not as fast or strong. The other group is those who grow but are very awkward in their new body. Either way, there is a group of kids who feel inferior simply because of the changes their body is going through or not. They can quickly get down on themselves and feel a sense of failure for things they cannot control.

The other day I watched a boy playing basketball. When he was in sixth grade, he was bigger than everyone else and scored 30 points against our team to beat us. Now, everyone else has grown up and passed him. Suddenly he was no longer a star, but a reserve. At one point I could swear I saw the look of disappointment and confusion on his face.

I write this because I worry about our teens. I work with them every week, and they are either overconfident or have feelings of worthlessness. Many times, this has been the result of involvement in youth sports.

Now, maybe more than ever, our young people need to know their value and worth do not come from what you do with a ball. They come from being created in the image of God and being redeemed by his son Jesus. That truth is not affected by how tall, fast, good or bad you are at a game. Please be sure you impress this into their lives today and every day.

Here are some of the best posts I have read over the last couple of weeks. The final few are about pastors and the struggles we face that I thought you might find interesting –

I’ve Been Dancing With Her Ever Since – older article, but I great read.

I Lost Mom, but I’ll Never Lose the Church

What Is the Opposite of Homosexuality? Why Marriage Is Not My Mission

10 Marks of a Happy Church

Here are a few articles to understand your pastor better –

10 Heartaches of Being a Pastor

When People Leave: The Private Pain Of The Small Church Pastor

5 reasons why pastors leave the ministry