It is difficult to believe we are already three months into 2018 and Easter is a week away. At the end of last year, I read several articles about what to expect in the Church and for Christians in 2018. Now that we are three months into the year, I have noticed a few things that are happening in the small community where I live.

1. Church Security is the Hot Topic. With all of the violence in our country, schools, and Churches, security is no longer a topic to be ignored. Two of our elders attended a workshop for Church leaders. Our entire leadership invited two police officers in to tour our building and make suggestions. Nearby a Church is hosting a weekend for all leaders to attend that will address all security measures a Church might take to be a safe place.

Two sides of application for you to consider. First, upgrades in security come at a cost. We are looking to change doors in our building, add more magnetic door locks and security cameras for a start. Unfortunately, everything costs money including Church security. Second, these actions bring change. We might lose the aesthetics of some of our doors for more functional ones. We may have a person posted by the back door each week. Some doors will remain locked and force us to use a different path. The leadership feels these changes are minor to ensure the safety of our people.

2. Busyness is Getting Worse for People. One of my most significant pleas is for people to reduce their schedule. Do less is my battle cry. Busyness is destroying relationships. We no longer have time for people or Christians projects. When we do take time to do something meaningful we keep our phone handy so that we can stay connected.

My application for you to consider. Ruthlessly evaluate your schedule. Limit the number of sports and activities your children will participate in this year. Build into your schedule non-phone times and periods of freedom. Use those to focus on relationships and the people you love. Side note for grandparents: As your children get more and busier your role becomes more critical than ever. Your grandchildren will be spending more time at your house as your kids run to their next activity. Your influence is higher than it ever has been in my lifetime.

3. Spiritual Hunger is Growing. This might surprise you. I am convinced that people are getting more and more disillusioned with their lives. They are longing for something in their soul that will touch that spiritual void. I have had more spiritual conversations over the last six months with people than in my previous three years in this Church. People are hurting inside, and they are longing for answers that only Christ can give.

My application for you to consider. The longing is there for people we only need to invite people into the conversation. We need to ask people to Church and into our homes. Believers have the opportunity to make an impact on other people for eternity. The flip side to this truth connects with the second observation; many Christians are so busy they are missing the chance to share Jesus with those around them who are looking. My plea to open up space in your life is not just for your benefit but for those around you as well.

2018 has been a good year for me so far. The weather has been uncooperative, but God has used some ugly days to show some bright truths. I am excited about Easter, and I am praying the rest of this year will be better than the first few months.

May God bless you this coming week and the coming nine months.

There are several blogs I follow that are about leadership. Some write about leadership in general and others specifically about Church leadership. Each one is full of insights on how to be a better pastor, manager, leader and visionary. While their material is useful information, it usually does not touch on the toughest leadership in the world. That is the topic of Self-Leadership.

I believe that to be a great parent, grandparent, teacher, coach, manager or whatever label you want to put on leadership, you must first lead yourself.

I am not writing about self-discipline, although the two concepts are related. Self-leadership is not just about doing the right thing each day; it is also about having a vision for your future. It includes making the tough decisions for long-term benefits. It is about self-assessment and continually re-evaluating your actions. Self-leadership is what moves you into the future and develops you into the person you will become when you get there. Self-leadership means doing the difficult things day in and day out when no one else is watching. Self-leadership is tough.

Personally, I would rather read about being a better business manager or how to organize my church for effective ministry. Maybe that is why the articles on leadership are so plentiful because it is easier to lead others than yourself. It is much more enjoyable too.

Before you set out to conquer the whatever piece of the world you lead, would you take a long look in the mirror? Ask yourself, “Am I leading that person well?”

Self-leadership will open the door to all other forms of leadership. If you can motivate yourself to be a better person, your family will follow. If you can stand out in front with confidence and conviction, other people will rally around you. If you can push yourself into new challenges with success, onlookers will come to learn from you.

Every day is a test of leadership. Will you lead yourself in the right direction?

Today is no exception.

Recently I spent time with a man who is very strict in his parenting. He makes sure his children are well-behaved, polite and respectful in almost every way. I will not lie; his children are kind and pleasant to be around.

There is a hard part to that story, his children are far from God. While they occasionally attend Church, there is no other indication of a commitment to the Lord. No Christian service, no attendance at growth events and I would be shocked if there were any Bible study in the home.

My interaction with this person reminded me of something my college professor said one time. He said, “Imagine a group of young men. Their hair is clean-cut, and they are physically fit. They respond to instructions with ‘Yes sir’ and ‘No mam.’ They work hard when assigned a task. They work together well, no matter how hard the job. What would you think about a group of teenage boys like that?”

The class began to respond with approval. Then he said, “Now what if I tell you they were Neo-Nazi’s?” He told us that everything he said was a fitting description of a group of white supremacists. Then he told us, “Remember it is our belief in Jesus that makes us Christian, not just our behavior.”

The truth is hard to swallow. You can raise a child who looks good on the outside, but who is spiritually empty or a total mess.

Here are two ways I have seen people raising well-behaved non-Christians.

1. Focus on Behavior Over Beliefs. Now, I do not want my children to disobey me, but if they do, I want it to be a time for spiritual growth. I would rather them learn some profound spiritual truth as teenagers than have perfect behavior. I want them to understand sin and disobedience alongside the grace of God. I do not just want them to act well, I want them to know God.

2. Prioritize Social Activities Over Christian Service. I firmly believe that activities like sports and clubs at school are essential. They develop teamwork, social skills, and a solid work ethic. Unfortunately, they do not create a Christian heart. Usually, they lead to pride and arrogance more than Christlike behavior. I would rather my child be the last player on the bench with a Godly heart than a starter devoid of Jesus.

These are just a couple of examples of how we can fail our children as Godly parents and grandparents. I would challenge you to ask yourself, “Do I want my child to be a good person or a Godly person?” Those two things are similar, but they are not the same.

I wish my time with this man were unprecedented and no other parents acted the way he does with his children. The sad reality is that I know of a number of Christian parents who are raising a generation of nice people without God. I hope believers will strive for something more.

Everyone who uses email regularly is familiar with the spam folder. It is that wonderful little file on your email provider that catches all your junk notes. Once every couple of days I open it and scroll through the subject lines quickly to make sure nothing good made it into the file by mistake. Mostly it is filled with advertisements, letters from rich people overseas who want my bank account numbers, mysterious links and of course directions in places I can access porn. After a quick look through the titles, I hit the button labeled with “delete all spam.” With one keystroke dozens of emails are deleted that did not warrant my time.

Spam is the title given to emails we receive that were unsolicited. We gave no one permission to send us these letters, but they came to us anyway. Spam is the junk mail of the digital world.

One day it hit me that I need a spam folder in my life. There are hundreds of people pouring information into my life every day. It comes through people at work, social media, magazines, TV, family, and a hundred other places. Some of the material given to me is valuable. I might want to listen carefully and replay it in my mind. Also, some of what people say to me is just junk.

There is information coming into your life that is not helpful. In fact, it might be destructive if you were to listen to it. Some conversations need to be sent to the spam folder where they can be deleted forever.

There are two big questions I ask about the messages coming into my life.

1. Has this person earned the right to speak into my life?

Do they have the right to speak to you about anything? Does the two-time divorced coworker have the right to give you marriage advice? Should you listen to the parent whose kids are both committed Christians offer parenting suggestions? Is there room in your life for the rantings of a middle-aged person who is apparently unhappy telling you how to live? You get the idea. Some voices do not deserve your time. Other comments deserve particular attention.

2. Does this person genuinely care about me as a person?

This is a tough question to ask, but it is necessary. There are people in your life who will give you instructions without even knowing your story. There are people in your life who see you as a project. They want to make you better, but not because they care about you. The long for the power and admiration it creates with others. Then there are those people who have watched your life. They have prayed for you and cared for your needs. They want the best for you even if the information is hard for you to hear.

In a world where everyone has a voice, through places like blogs, do not be afraid to use your spam folder. Not everyone should have a voice in your life, only the people who are making you a better person and follower of Jesus.

Let me give you permission to develop a spam folder in your life and use it liberally.

This past weekend was the start of what is called “March Madness.” It is the time of year the NCAA Division 1 basketball has their championship tourney. There are games spread out over a three-week period where 68 teams will be reduced to one winner. My boys and I love to watch all the basketball during March. It is always a wide ride of last-second game-winning shots, all-star performances, and unexpected events.

This past weekend was unprecedented in the history of college basketball. A number one seed lost their first game for the first time ever. Numerous top teams were beaten by underdogs leaving a unique group of teams left for the second weekend of play. In fact, it was so eventful that many of the teams picked to win by the so-called experts on sports TV and radio fell to defeat. One of my favorite basketball personalities saw his pick to win it all fall in the second game.

This weekend proves that those people who spend their lives observing game after game, know very little about what really happens. They cannot predict a team that has prepared for big moments, coaches who have a great game plan or players to rise when the spotlight shines on them. They are unable to foresee when an underdog plays with heart and determination while a big school seems to care less. They cannot imagine a player having the game of his life in a crucial moment that propels his team to the next round. Nothing the experts have seen over the course of the year will adequately prepare them for tournament play.

This leads me to the conclusion that no one has any clear idea about the future. The unexpected will happen, and people will surprise you.

While I may not know you personally, I know this about you. If you are a Christ follower, you have the potential to prove the experts wrong. The Bible tells us story after story about people who trusted God and found themselves shocking the world. Joseph grows from a hated young man to become the second in command of Egypt. Moses goes from leading sheep to leading Israel. David goes from shepherd boy to king. Along the way, he kills Goliath with just a sling and a stone. Gideon defeats an entire army with a handful of men. Peter goes from failure to Church leader. Saul, called Paul, went from approving the murder of Christians to being an Apostle. Whenever people attach themselves to the power of God, they often prove the experts wrong.

Up to this point you may have been labeled with less than flattering titles. You were the unappreciated, undeserving, unrespected and underperforming person. The people who know things would count you out and never take a bet on you to succeed. But your story is still not over. There is still a game to play. You have to potential to surprise everyone as you move forward trusting in God.

The experts were wrong this weekend, and I hope they are wrong about you too.

I am not the type of person to ask for much, especially from the congregation I lead. I have no desire for expensive gifts, overseas vacations or any other kind of compensation. The leadership makes sure I get paid, and I am happy with what they give me. BUT there are a few things that I want from the people I lead each week that will help make my ministry more pleasant.

1. Your Prayers. Words cannot express how much I appreciate your prayers. Frequently I am caught a spiritual battle for my mind. Sometimes it comes through disappointment and feelings of inadequacy. Sometimes it comes through the flesh and the carnal desires of life. Sometimes it comes through pride and arrogance that stand contrary to the work of God. Pray for me to have spiritual strength through the power of the Holy Spirit.

2. Your Support. I never want to feel like I am the hired gun of the Church to do ministry alone. My hope is to be a part of a community of believers who are all working together for the glory of God. Yes, I get paid to do this job, but I still need the support of the body to extend beyond my own limitations.

3. Your Kindness. Treat me like a real person with real emotions. I am not asking you to do anything special for me. Just treat me like you would any other believer. Smile. Shake my hand. Talk to me about things other than Church. Invite me to do things. Speak kindly to me and about me. Don’t treat me as an evil villain or as a superhero, just as a fellow believer.

4. Your Trust. Honestly, not everything I do will be right. I will make some poor decisions. Sometimes it will be the right decision, and you will just not like it. That is okay; we do not have to agree on everything. What I am asking you for is the benefit of the doubt. I want you to know that my desire is to further God’s kingdom and nothing more. I am not making decisions to make you mad or just as a power trip; I am doing what I think is right. Trust my heart even when you do not understand or agree.

5. Your Love for My Family. God brought me to this Church to be their preacher and leader; my family just came along for the ride. My wife donates significant amounts of time to the Church. My children have no other option but to come here each week. When people are friendly to them, it means more to me than when you are kind to me. I want my Church to pray for them, talk to them rather than about them, and show them love and support.

This is my list of hopes from my congregation. I hope none of them are selfish. These just make life and ministry more enjoyable. Near the end of the letter to the Hebrew Church, there is this great statement. The people of God are told to work with their leaders “so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. (Hebrews 13:17)”

Thanks to everyone who makes my work a joy and not a burden.

Most people know that I am an introvert by nature, but time has also made me a pessimist. Through my years of regularly dealing with people I have learned that the glass is always half empty and what I am being told is half the truth.

I wish this were not true about myself, but there is no denying it. Most people tend to let me down, confuse me, lie to me and distort their words to their own advantage. My time in ministry has frequently shown me the worst in people more than the best. In fact, I challenge people to spend a week or two in the Church office and see if that does not begin to change them too.

Recently I realized how cynical I have become in my dealing with people. This led me to challenge myself to handle people from a more positive standpoint. It is not an easy endeavor for me to undertake, but I have learned a few things already on this journey.

1. My distrust of others can come from my personal struggles.
There is an old saying that goes, “to a thief; all men are thieves.” I must continually remind myself of that when dealing with people. It is easy for me to project my flaws onto another person even when they do nothing to deserve it. I know what goes on inside my private world and it is easy to assume that all people have the same issues. When I get frustrated with other people, the first place I need to look is a mirror.

2. It is difficult to give people the benefit of the doubt.
For some reason, possibly just my sinful nature, I often attribute other people with negative actions and emotions. They said that to hurt me. They did that because they know I hate it. There is this subtle shift in my thinking that makes everyone else the villain trying to destroy me as the hero of my story. The truth is that this is rarely happening. Most people are not even thinking about me. I must force myself to give people the benefit of the doubt and not attribute them to some heinous motives.

3. Every sinner stills need the love of Jesus and his people.
The people who do have negative intentions are the most in need of grace. I often wonder how people treated Jesus. He was called a friend of tax collectors and sinners and being of that type of character probably led them to lie to him and hurt his feelings. I am sure they were not always perfect friends in return. Yet, Jesus remained their friend because he knew it is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. The same is still true today.

4. Ultimately, I am responsible for my actions alone.
When I am kind to someone, it might be greeted with anger. When I am generous, it might be met with selfishness. Other people’s response should not dictate my actions. The followers of Jesus turn the other cheek when they are struck. They pray for those who persecute them. They do not become cynical and self-centered because other people are acting that way. The call is to rise above my natural reactions to those who abuse my good nature.

I must admit to you, the journey back to optimism is a rough road. Every day my patience is tested as I clench my teeth and ask God to help me. But I want my life to be shaped by Jesus and his desire for me far above my common everyday response. It is never easy to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it always the best for everyone.

Lately, I have been preaching through the seven “I am” statements of Jesus in the book of John. These are the times Jesus spoke of himself and used a word picture to help us understand his work. Each one of these is essential for us to explore as they give us insight into the reason Jesus came to earth in his own words.

Recently I was struck by how much of what Jesus said was entirely incomprehensible to his followers at that time. For example, he told his disciples that he was “The Good Shepherd.” Then he went a step further and stated that as the good shepherd he was going to lay down his life for his sheep.

The modern reader of these words knows exactly what Jesus was talking about when he said this. His followers in the crowd that day may have smiled and seemed happy at his comments, but they had no idea he was speaking of his own death on the cross. Apparently, they would not understand any of his predictions of death until after his resurrection and ascension. It was not until they looked back at the events of their lives and laid them alongside his words that they understood what he meant.

I wonder if there is not a principle there for believers. Many of the events of our lives are not understood until we look back in hindsight.

It reminds me of Joseph in the book of Genesis. He has this tremendous God-inspired dream for his life. The pursuit of that dream leads him to slavery and prison before he receives his blessing. Near the end of the book he tells his brothers that God was working in the situation and what they meant for evil, God used for his good.

Perhaps one characteristic the people of faith need is reflection. There needs to be a time in which we set down and look over our lives to see the hand of God at work. The practice of taking a spiritual inventory of your journey will continually remind you of all God has done. Maybe you don’t need for God to do a fantastic work in your life to increase your faith, maybe you just need to remember all that he has done.

I understand that when you read the title of this post, you probably thought, that is not me. I want you to know that I can see the truth. You are hurting inside. You are confused about your life, and you do not know how to express it properly. I am sure things did not work out as you planned. Your life was supposed to go this way, and it just didn’t happen. You are not happy, and frequently it shows.

My guess about your situation is that you once had big dreams. You were a sports star, homecoming royalty, popular and everyone thought you were the most likely to succeed. You set the bar high for yourself and rightfully so because everyone saw your potential. People knew that one day you would conquer the world and be rich or famous or both.

Somewhere along the way, things took a wrong turn. One of several things might have happened to you. A sports injury ended your career and left you sidelined from your dreams. Maybe a poor decision led to a series of unfortunate events that left you labeled with ugly terms. Perhaps you threw yourself into your dreams, and you simply failed.

In the wake of devastation, you turned to God. You realized your need for forgiveness. You came to understand and accept grace as you tried to rebuild your life. It was a wonderfully defining moment that saved you from deep despair.

And yet, something is still not right. You harbor bitter feelings of disappointment in yourself. There is a deeply hidden pain when you look in the mirror. You are sure everyone else is judging you and saying to themselves how much of a failure you really are. The frustration you feel about yourself is projected on other people. Without realizing it, you have become this bitter and angry person.

You feel separate from other people. No one seems to want to draw close to you anymore, and you are convinced it is their problem. The anger becomes your entrenched attitude toward everything and occasion blowup is becoming more frequent.

If this is you, can I make a couple of statements for you to think about today?

First, let me assure you that no one feels about you the way that you think of yourself. In fact, most people do not think about you at all. They are fighting their own internal battles. The majority of people see you as a wonderful person with issues, just like themselves.

Second, let me remind you that God forgives you. He not only forgives you, but he is also rewriting your story toward a better ending. God has better dreams for your life than you ever had. Cling to grace every day.

Third, your current anger is doing more damage than you realize. In your frustration, you are hurting people who love you. You have the power to stop the pain for them. Do a daily attitude check and resist the ugly emotions that fill your head.

Finally, I hope you will allow this season of your life to be a time of growth. Don’t run away from people who care about you. Don’t lock all these emotions inside and allow them to fill your future. Let these difficult feelings bring you closer to God, push you toward grace and become a kinder and gentler person.

As your pastor, I know you are struggling. Although you would never articulate it to me or to anyone else for that matter, we all know what is going on inside of you. We are afraid to say something because we feel like you will blow up and it will make matters worse. The people around you care about you, and we want to help, please let us.

You are God’s precious child no matter how you feel about yourself today.

While singing a worship song that I loved, I looked around the auditorium to see everyone else’s joy at the moment. What I saw was disappointing. Remarkably few people seemed to be enjoying the music the same way in which I was.

A little confused I then took the opportunity to do a little survey. With each song, I would take a quick look around to gauge the enthusiasm with every song. All of the songs, from hymns to chorus’, brought a different reaction. One group loved this song; another group enjoyed that song, some songs were liked by everyone while others seem to be hated by all.

As I watched this all unfold before my eyes, one simple thought became clear in my mind: Someone in the Church enjoys the exact opposite things as me. Each week the songs that you have the most profound emotional connection with are hated by other people. You can expand that truth out even further in the application. That program that the Church puts on that you can’t wait for each year, someone else dreads it. That class that you think is so beneficial, someone else finds it worthless. That person that you find so endearing, other people find annoying.

While this truth drives me crazy at times, I think that it is one of the most genius moves of God.

Think about it …

1. Our differences make us focus on Jesus.
The Church is a gathering of people brought together by Jesus. We are not a social club or a community action group; we are Christ followers. Every time I wonder why God brought together this group of people, he reminds me that Jesus is the reason we are a part of this group and nothing else.

2. Our differences allow us to connect with everyone.
If we were all the same, then we would only have appeal to people who are like us. Because the church is this mish-mash collection of people, we can share the gospel with everyone.

3. Our differences force us not be selfish.
I think that this maybe is the most significant benefits and challenges. Each week I must submit my will to the desires of the group. I have to say to myself, “I don’t like this, but I bet someone does.” If I want to see all people come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior, then I will put my preferences behind other people’s. For the sake of the gospel, I force myself to surrender my will for the benefit of others.

I am glad we are not all the same. What a dull gathering that would be each week. Instead, God places us in a community of people who enjoy things I despise for the betterment of all of us. It may drive us crazy at times, but it also stretches to become more like Jesus.