The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as he said it. The words filled the air as he said what he thought was a compliment. Instead, his words left me reeling through my brain and assessing every moment of being a parent. He said, “Your son is a good kid.” What he said may not sound like an issue to you, but please hear me out.

I am a parent of four teenage boys. I am also a Christian, and I happen to be a preaching minister. I have spent my life trying to make God the number one priority in my life while trying to teach to my kids. My goal as a Christian parent has never been to raise good kids; I wanted to raise Godly children. To there is a world of difference between these two things.

1. Godly kids prioritize God over all else. I want to raise children who ask, “What does God want me to do?” as their number one question. They strive to put God first in everything that they do and say. That does not mean they have to be a paid vocational minister like myself. It means they plan their lives around their faith no matter what situation in which they find themselves.

2. Being a good kid has an ever-changing definition. Everyone has a different definition of what it means to be good. Some would say that means you don’t hurt anyone with your words or actions. Other would say it means helping people. Still, others would say it means having no public flaws. When you settle into trying to raise a good kid you might be overlooking a vital part of their life. For example, my kid may be nice to others, but what if he has a pornography addiction? I believe that issue must be addressed and not ignored. I believe raising a Godly child means that we try to focus on every aspect of their life.

3. Godly kids value the things of God. They understand the need to read and apply the Bible. They see the need to be a part of a community of believers. They know what it means to serve others without expecting repayment. They know that being a follower of God is seen in everything they do, not just in what they claim to believe. Bible reading, prayer, service, Church attendance and Christian leadership are woven into the fabric of their lives.

4. Good kids can think that goodness is enough for Heaven. Somewhere along life’s journey, it is easy to substitute the idea that I need to be good to make my parents happy to I need to be good to make God happy. Heaven is not for good people, it is for people who have received grace. My kids are frequent failures at following God – just like I am! I want them to know that is okay. God values them despite their sins, and he offers them grace in Jesus. I do not want them trusting their own efforts to get them into eternity; rather I want them to throw themselves on the grace of God.

5. Raising Godly kids is far more challenging. Let me be 100% honest with you. Raising Godly children is one of the most difficult things in the world. Almost everything around my children is trying to pull them away from their faith. There is little support from other parents and often from other believers. It keeps you up at night replaying your action and down on your knees in prayer. There are many times I wish God wanted me just to raise nice kids because it would be far easier. I believe we are called as parents to give our best efforts at raising the type of children God desires.

Once again, if I am honest, I would say that most days I feel like a failure. I feel like I haven’t taught enough, encouraged enough or lived a good enough example. I fear my children will walk away from the Lord and never return. So, I spend time every day praying for them, their future spouse and the decisions they are making. I ask God to help me in every part of my parenting. Then each day I get up and do the best I can as I lead my home.

Yes, I hope people will one day say I have good kids, but I hope that goodness will flow from their life of faith and a Godly heart.

In Luke chapter 15 Jesus tells a series of parables. The first is the story of a lost sheep and a searching shepherd. The second is about a lost coin and a searching woman. The third is about a man with two sons, and one of them leaves home.

You might know the story well, but if not let me give you a quick recap. A father had two boys. One of them asks for his inheritance, and unbelievably the father gives it to him. He then sets out for a distant country where he loses all his money. Soon he finds himself working for a farmer feeding pigs. Traditionally we call it the story of the prodigal son. The name is focused on the one son’s reckless spending of his money.

It is the story of a life filled with possibility and a grand future that takes a wrong turn. The boy who was once spoken of as being full of potential is now the lowest of farm hands. I am sure his father was hurt by his son’s behavior as he moves from a life full of promise to disappointment.

Then comes one of the most powerful lines in the Bible. I have thought about this one line of scripture more than any other. It deeply touches me with its mysterious application.

Luke 15:17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!” (New International Version)

“When he came to his senses …”

What an intriguing line. It implies that there is a point in a person’s life where they wake up to the mess things have become. There is a point at which someone’s right mind is restored, and their thinking becomes clear. There is a moment in the lives of people where they see their failure and their need to change.

In my think about this verse, I have wondered. How do you get someone to come to their senses? Is there anything we can do to help it happen? How do I get people to wake up to the mess they are making of their lives and the lives of those around them? How does someone “come to their senses?” Do we have to patiently wait until they get there on their own?

The harsh reality is that there are people I love who are making poor decisions. Their journey is leading them away from God. I see it. Other people see it. For some reason that cannot see the danger that lies ahead. I desperately want them to come to their senses before it is too late.

I wish I had answers for my questions, but after years of thinking and discussing this idea, I have no more insight. I have simply added a new line to my prayers. “God, help them to come to their senses,” seems like the best thing I can ask God to do. I pray that God will use whatever means necessary to change their hearts and minds and send them searching for him. Unfortunately, that may mean they need to hit rock bottom.

I am glad that God has brought me to my senses a couple of times in my life. I keep praying he will do the same work for other people, especially those I love. Maybe you feel the same way about someone in your life. I pray he does the same for them.

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they sit back in their chair in a moment of peace and think, “I have it all figured out.” This can be focused on our career, our marriage, our parenting, our faith or one of a dozen things. We made the right decisions. We are moving forward with confidence in the direction of our dreams.

Then there comes another time in someone’s life where they lean forward amid the chaos and put their head in the hands and quietly mutter, “I have no idea what I am doing.”

The funny part about life is that the peak and the valley are never too far apart. One season of our life is full of joy and expectancy and the next season is the exact opposite.

Lately, I am learning several things while going through a valley of uncharted territory.

1. Faith is Found in the Darkness. The moments when I think I have it all figured out rest largely on my knowledge and decisions. When you walk out into the unknown, you must cling to what God has told us in his word and little else. Hard times are when I need my faith in the unseen God more than ever. There comes the point in a life of faith where the future ahead is unknown, and God is all you have to lead you forward.

2. Family is Found in the Loneliness. It has been said before, “When life gets hard, you find out who your real friends are.” It is true. In life’s darkest hours you see who really cares about you. Numerous people in this world will stand by you when you look like you have it all together. They will cheer your victories and stand beside you in your pictures with the trophies. When you lose, and there is very little be gained by being your friend the people who stand beside you in those pictures are priceless gifts.

3. Lessons are Learned in the Struggle. The greatest lessons I have learned in life have come during its darkest hours. I pray more diligently. I listen more intently. I think more clearly when I am not sure what I am doing. The unknown forces me to learn. These are the lessons that make me a better Christian, husband, parent, and friend.

All of us love the times of peace and prosperity in our lives, but frequently God uses the difficult seasons of darkness to transform us into his likeness. While I may not want these times in my life, these are the times I need in order to grow.

A couple of things in my life are heard right now, but God is using them to make me stronger. I know he can do the same for you.

Here is a thought for your Sunday afternoon. Have a blessed and Godly week.

Here are the best posts I have read over the last couple weeks. I hope you enjoy them I did.

My 3 big fears in parenting teenagers

Teach Children the Bible Is Not About Them

4 Things Our Desire to Gossip Reveals About Us

7 New Testament Verses that Challenge me as a Christian Leader

The Top 7 Reasons Guests Return To Your Church

Stop Being a Butthole Wife – (Sorry for the title – but it is a great article and you can substitute “husband” for “wife”)

I keep a list of blog ideas going on Evernote. It ranges from one to three pages of typed material at any given point during the year. Well, once a year I like to purge my list and leave only the best material for future use. Some of the things on the list are good ideas; they are just not complete thoughts that I will be able to use here.

Today is the day that I purge that file. Before I hit the delete button, I wanted to share some of my incomplete thoughts with you.

1. On being a messenger of Morse Code. Watching the movie Lincoln and I noticed the guy who sent and received Morse Code. His job is to hear and communicate a message without getting in the way. Quite often I view this job as like sharing the gospel. We don’t create the message we just receive it from God’s word and pass it on.

2. The religion of sports. I wonder if sports are the idolatry of the modern world.

3. The longevity of the Church. I read numerous articles about what the Church can learn from the business world. Then down the road, I see the same company struggling and sometimes dying. I often wonder why business doesn’t study the Church instead of vice versa. The Church still exists 2,000 years after Jesus in every culture across the globe. No business has the longevity or reach of the Church. Maybe Jesus had a plan far greater than we can imagine?

4. Being a lurker. I watch things online all the time. I rarely comment or post. Frequently I see people in life who are lurkers. They watch and listen but rarely contribute.

5. Christian Music. What happens to old Christian music? There were some great songs and musicians around when I was a teen, and none of it has lived on till today. We have classic rock and sounds of the 60’s radio stations, but we do not have old Christian music stations. No one seems to be celebrating our rich heritage of Contemporary Christian Music.

6. Self-fulfilling prophecies. If you want Church to be great, it will be. If you want Church to be irrelevant, it will be. Where we focus our attention quickly becomes the only thing we see.

7. Some things must die. I hate it that your small group folded. I am sorry that the Sunday night program is done. I know you liked it, but it was no longer bearing fruit. The amount of work being put into it was not worth the harvest that was being produced. Sometimes even good things have to die for something new to grow.

8. Selective Memory. I am amazed at how quickly we forget both bad and good things.

9. Generic Christians. Most stories have a form of generic merchandise. It is usually cheaper than the name brand, but the quality is questionable. Are there generic Christians? Are there people who have the same look but are not the same quality?

10. The trick of wellness. I have known individuals who were taking medication for mental or emotional issues. They would take their pills and get to feeling better, then they would stop taking their medication. They quickly slide into more problems and trouble. This process has repeated itself for years in some case. The same thing can happen with faith and the Church.

There are my ten random thoughts about life and faith that will not become complete posts for me. In fact, this will probably by my last mention of them unless you persuade me to do something more. I hope you found something good here. If not, I have numerous other ideas that you will see in the future. Until then, may God bless you all.

I watched a Christian video online. It was clear and concise, and a simple presentation meant to challenge our thinking. Then I took a moment to scroll down to the comment section. Having done this before I was reasonably prepared for what I was about to read. Hundreds of people stating their opinion. There were capital letters, underlines, emojis, and bold type used in the comments. There were condescending statements, harsh criticisms and angry dialog of every form. The section consisted of the line after line of people arguing with one another about the video.

This would not bother me so much, but I see it bleeding over into our everyday conversations. There was that small group where one guy disagreed with a concept. He got loud and angry. He started an argument right there in a small group designed for spiritual growth. People had their feelings hurt. Meetings had to be held, and the wave of evil touched everyone who was present for this moment.

I wish this were the exception, but it is quickly becoming the rule. The interaction of people has become increasingly hostile, and arguments have become the norm. We each hold our opinions very dear and spend our energy convincing people we are right.

But do we? Do we accomplish anything with our arguments and verbal assault?

Think back on your life. How many times have you been changed positively by some argument being won? Maybe it was a time you won an argument or the time you watched someone else lose their battle of words. How many times have you been changed by a victorious argument?

As I review my life, I cannot think of a time that an argument has every accomplished anything positive for me. Maybe you are different, but that is my story.

With that in mind, let me ask you a couple of big questions.

1. Are you more interested in voicing your opinion or finding the truth?

2. Are you showing love and grace in your words more than anger and dominance?

3. What will be the result of your dialogue?

When the room falls silent, and the conversation is over, will there be a mess to pick up or will there be people who are better for having talked with you? My fear is that our online assertiveness is making us more calloused toward other people. We are smarter than ever yet less skilled at using that knowledge. Always remember that Jesus calls us to be a light and not a club.

Over the last week, the people of the USA celebrated their independence. Most people I know went camping, or on vacation or at the very least they went to some community celebration usually ending with fireworks.

While the noise of the fourth of July was prominently in front of people another lesser known day slipped by for me. On July 1st, I reached the third anniversary of my time with Adrian Christian Church. My family and I arrived in town on the evening of June 30, 2014, and unloaded all our stuff from a U-Haul on July 1, including setting up my office at the Church building.

These three years have been a rollercoaster ride of experiences and emotions. Personally, two of my sons have graduated high school, and I have lost my dad. Professionally, the Church has seen growth with limited bumps in the road. Numerous people have made the decision to follow Jesus of all ages. Both personally and professionally, some people have grown to love us and others have developed a hatred of us. All in all, it has been a pretty good three years.

At times like this, I am reminded of an old hymn by Fanny Crosby called “All the Way My Savior Leads Me.”

All the way my Savior leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday weekend. I hope the rest of your year is full of love and joy. No matter what it brings for you or me, the Savior is leading. Thanks be to God.

Tomorrow starts the run into the fourth of July. Most places around here start festivities on Saturday, and I know events are running through Tuesday the Fourth. With that said, I know that no one is going to spend their time wondering, “What does preacher Matt have to say on his blog?” You will be out enjoying life, family and the height of summer as everyone should be doing. I know I will be enjoying the weekend along with our time of worship this Sunday morning.

This will be the last post for a few days, and I will get back into the swing of writing more soon. Until then, may God bless you all and I am glad I live in a country where I currently have the freedom to write about God and living for him without persecution.

Have a great holiday weekend.

This past Sunday after the sermon the Church was taking the time to share in communion. During this period in our worship, there was a video playing on the screen to create a mood of meditation. The video was the song “O Come to the Altar” by Elevation Worship. We were playing the video they have uploaded to YouTube with the images on the screen.
[You can watch the video HERE]

I have seen the video several times and heard the song a hundred more times. This time I noticed something I have never noticed before. During the video, there is a section that shows a baptism program at their Church. It starts at the 3:00-minute mark and lasts until the 4:00-minute mark.

The first thing I noticed was that most of the baptism decisions were being made by men. That caught me off guard a little as most the baptisms that I perform are women and children. The second thing I noticed was the guy they showed at the 3:54 point who is last in the video section is quite the man. He is big, strong and handsome. He is a manly kind of man, and he is celebrating his new life in Christ. The image caught me like never before.

His decision filled me with joy and then with a moment of despair as I thought, “Where have all the real men gone in the Church?”

Where are the men who lead their wife in faith?

Where are the men who lead their family in spiritual growth?

Where are the men who lead their Church with confidence?

Where are the men who lead their community in the power of God?

Unfortunately, many of the men I know have little spiritual strength. They either do not come to Church, or they come only because the wife tells them too.

Very few men are leading the way in spiritual growth. Few read their Bible or do anything to help themselves grow. Over 80% of the readers of blogs like mine are female.

Churches are desperately searching for male leadership. Recently I was reflecting on the idea that in 24 years of ministry I have only brought three men onto Church leadership as Elders. That is because either no one was qualified or simply no one wanted the job.

Most men I know have settled into going to work, coaching their kid’s sports team, or doing some hobby they enjoy. They have stepped back in their faith or completely stepped away.

Today, one of my biggest hopes is to reconnect men to their faith. I want to see men step up and be strong Godly leaders in every area of their lives. I want to challenge men to be more than people who watch faith from the side. I believe the future of our marriages, families, Church and even our country will depend on whether men are willing to be all that God wants them to be.

It all starts with one man willing to stand up and say, “I am ready to live for Christ.” Thank you guy at the 3:54 point for reminding me of what it means to be a Godly man.