Here are some of the best articles I have read this week. Enjoy.
Why You Can & CAN’T “Do All Things Through Him Who Strengthens” You: Rethinking Phil. 4:13
DEAR WOMEN’S MINISTRY, STOP TELLING ME I’M BEAUTIFUL
Six Observations About Speaking to Pastors Right Before They Preach
I want to write this while the wounds are still fresh. It has been less than a week since I lost my dad. I have just experienced my first time of family visitation and the funeral of a close relative. I want to share a few thoughts on my experience that may be helpful for you. Today I want to give you a few words that I found useful and a few I did not.
1. Your Presence is Enough, Don’t Feel the Pressure to Say Something Meaningful.
When Mom and I sat down after everything was over, we began to talk about who came and who was surprisingly absent. If I know you, then few words are required. If I don’t know you then tell me your relationship with him and why you felt you should come. That is enough, honestly.
2. Tell Me Personal Stories About My Dad.
When people told me about dad speeding in his car to work, talking himself out of tickets and other various stories, I learned a little more about this man I loved. Funny, entertaining, and personal stories that I might not know are a real blessing.
3. Remind Me of the Promises of God.
Dad was a believer, and I am confident about this eternity. Remind me of what the Bible says about heaven. Mention the removal of pain and a life without mourning, crying or pain.
4. Sharing Your Pain With Me is Okay.
A few people told me of their loss of their father and even their spouse. They said how hard it was for them, but God got them through it by his grace and mercy. Those stories helped me to connect with people and see a small light at the end of this journey.
5. Resist the Urge to Make Eternal Guesses.
Saying things like, “He is up there fishing right now” are not really helpful. Telling me about him talking to your deceased relative are not encouraging either. Telling me about a dream you had or some eternal vision are kind of weird. I know you mean well, but it is not really helpful, in fact, some of it was upsetting – at least for me.
Over the last several days I have heard everything. The words ranged from a comfort that only I know to words that upset me. I hope that this little reflection will be helpful the next time you attend a family visitation or funeral. This is an excellent time to minister to people, but we must be thoughtful in everything we say.
I have been dreading the next two days. The past two days have been filled with memories of my dad and tears shed with family. I have traveled all day and am back in Indiana for my father’s funeral. The next two days hold the visitation time and the actual funeral. I know I stand on the edge of some of the most emotional days of my life.
I approach these days full of faith. I am a devoted follower of Jesus. My father was also a committed believer. I know this is an event that calls on all that we trust as people who place our faith in Christ.
With that said, two passages of Scripture keep coming to mind as I approach these days.
First, in John chapter 11 we have the story of the death of Jesus friend named Lazarus. Jesus reaches the place where they laid him and it says in John 11:35 that “Jesus wept.” Jesus knew the reality of eternity, and yet he was sad at the loss of his friend to the grave.
I have thought that he might have wept because he knew that God did not desire for death to enter the world. Jesus knew that his death was the result of sin corrupting God’s perfect work. Maybe there was some deep theological meaning in his tears. But maybe his tears were more basic in their meaning, and he was simply sad at the loss of his friend.
Second, the Apostle Paul writes to the Church at Thessalonica and says in chapter 4 verse 13, “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.”
The indication is clear. Grief is fine, but it should not be excessive. Followers of Jesus cling to the hope of eternal life. All is not lost. We know that those who have passed away will be with us for eternity.
For me, the next two days will be filled with the grief that only a funeral can bring. It will also be filled with the hope of eternal life. It may be a sad time, but it is not the end of this story.
Early Sunday morning January 8, 2017, Freddie Lewis Harris, my father passed away in his sleep. Over the last two years, he had suffered two major strokes and several “minor” strokes. The last one hit the Friday before Christmas. His health steadily decreased until the Lord called him home.
He was my father, Pappy to my children, mentor, and friend. I will miss him in every way. I look forward to seeing him in heaven again one day. Love you, Poppa.
I am doing something different for 2017. Every weekend I am going to post some of the best and most helpful articles I have read in the past week. Sometimes this will be only one or two pieces and other times it may be several. I would just like to share what I am reading every weekend in 2017. Hope you enjoy.
I KNOW WHY YOUR CHURCH DID (OR DIDN’T) CANCEL CHRISTMAS
John MacArthur’s Ten Crucial Lessons We Must Teach our Children
Christmas is one of the biggest holidays on the Christian calendar. Yet, in my Church, once Christmas is over the decorations go up, and we don’t think much about Jesus until Easter. Some Churches do have special days set aside to think about Jesus after his birth. One of those events is called Epiphany. It happens 12 days after Christmas and is part of the Christian liturgical plan.
Observed on January 6th, the Epiphany celebration remembers the three miracles that manifest the divinity of Christ. The name “Epiphany” comes from the Greek word Epiphania, and means “to show, make known, or reveal.” The celebration originated in the Eastern Church in AD 361, beginning as a commemoration of the birth of Christ. Later, additional meanings were added – the visit of the three Magi, Christ’s baptism in the Jordan River, and his first miracle at the wedding in Cana. These three events are central to the definition of Epiphany, and its meaning is drawn from these occurrences.
Today is the day believers celebrate the revelation of Jesus as the Savior of the world. He did not accomplish anything on this day. It is just a time set aside to remember who we believe was really born on Christmas.
I hope today that you set aside a few minutes and think about Jesus. Think about his coming. Think about his life and work. Think about his character. Think about God dwelling in flesh among us. Today our Church may not have a big celebration, but that does not mean that you cannot recognize it in your heart. In fact, I strongly encourage it.
Pastors are human, and sometimes our lives get difficult too. Right now, I am going through a difficult time as my dad’s health continues to get worse. The strokes have taken a toll on his body, and we are facing an uncertain future. The only difference for me is that I am living this reality out in front of my congregation. Here is what I see happening when I, as a Pastor, am going through this personal struggle.
1. I Am Distracted
I know this seems obvious in some ways, but I need to say it. God has blessed me with a tremendous memory, and lately, I find myself forgetting things. Last Sunday I checked my phone right before I walked on stage just to make sure there were no new messages about dad. I am making frequent phone calls and trying to keep focused in a tough time. I apologize if I forget something or come off as distracted.
2. I Am Repeating Myself
I am trying to keep people informed, and I forget who I have told what. If you hear me say the same thing to you two or three times, I am sorry.
3. I Am Trying to Keep People Updated Without Drawing Undo Attention
I am not the only one going through a tough time. We have several people sitting in the chairs each week who are on the verge of loss or already on the other side. I want them to have the same care and concern I am receiving. Everyone who is hurting in the Church should get the attention they deserve, not just the Pastor.
4. I Am Emotional
I know I am going to break down crying multiple times in the future. I hope it is not in a sermon, but it could happen. I am a deeply feeling person who is losing his father and one of his best friends. It is not easy as many of you know. I simply cannot predict when I will break down.
5. I Am On Call And Can’t Know the Future.
I have decided not to run back to see dad or help mom right now. I am waiting until I am really needed. The result is that one Sunday I will just up and disappear. The elders and deacons have given me free rein to do what is necessary, and I sincerely appreciate it. It may happen in a week or a month or several months. I know one day I will run off and it will affect the Church here in some ways, please be understanding.
6. I Appreciate Your Prayer, Just Like Anyone Else.
I want you to pray for every need in the Church, this time I just want my family added to the list. Please pray for dad’s transition to heaven. Mom in this tough time. Prayer for me and my brother and sister. There are also seven grandkids including my four sons. All prayers are appreciated.
This experience is a first for me in ministry. I am feeling my way along and asking for God’s guidance. I also ask that you would be kind and compassionate to me through this time as I would hope you would do for anyone in my situation.
Usually, when we think of making this year better, we begin by adding something of value to our normal routine. We are going to start frequenting the gym or adding healthy food to our diet. We will start reading the Bible or praying each day. We believe that improvement comes with addition.
I want to suggest to you that growth also comes through subtraction. There are some things I need to remove from my life to make it better.
1.Removal of Time Wasting Practices
Some of you need to take a break from social media. Some of you need to reduce the amount of TV you watch. How many people have sat down at their computer to check out a couple of things on the internet and then realized that several hours had passed? Is it possible that some of the things you are doing are not making your life better they are simply wasting time?
2. Removal of Negative Thoughts
How many times have you heard that faint whisper in your ear telling you something negative? Either something like, “You will fail” or “You are not good enough to do that.” Our thoughts direct our paths, and some of us have been listening to the negative voices in our head for too long. It is time to change the pattern of your mind.
3. Removal of Certain People
It is possible that you have people in your life who are not helping you achieve the best for your life? There are those people who pull us down with their negative behaviors and words. We might not be able to completely remove those people from our lives, but maybe they need to be moved to the margins. Is it possible that you need to spend less time with a few people to improve your attitude and habits?
4. Removal of Anything Ungodly
I truly believe that God has our best interests in mind through his word. He continually tells us in his word to remove several things like anger, rage, gossip, and slander. The New Testament calls these things the “works of the flesh.” They are part of our old life before we came to Jesus and as believers, we are now called to remove them. They are actions that hurt us along with the people around us.
What would you add to my list?
I often talk to people, and they know exactly what is holding them back in their lives. They know they need to quit doing something or remove someone, but they do not do it. What would happen if you did that one difficult thing you have been dreading for years? What if you purged that thing from your life that would enable you to grow and improve?
Sometimes we should cut the rope to free us from the anchor that holds us in place and doesn’t allow us to move forward.
Why not this year?
I am thankful that God has given me one more year of life. I feel this way every year at the start of January. I am excited for what lies ahead, but I am also thankful for what lies in the past. God gave me one more year to live, love, make a difference and prepare for eternity.
As I reflect on the past year, I have a series of questions that come to mind.
Do I know more about God than I did one year ago?
Do I understand more of what the Bible is teaching than I did a year ago?
Did I connect with people on a deeper level over the past year?
Did I lead anyone into a relationship with Jesus over the last year?
Whom did I serve in the last twelve months?
What project or program did I help grow through my local Church?
Were my ideas and opinions shaped by my faith, even more, this year?
Have I grown spiritually at all in the past year?
Am I different from just one year ago?
Am I better than I was a year ago?
I know these are hard questions to ask and some are even harder to get a clear answer. Despite the difficulty, I still think we need to ask some big questions about the past year.
Then we need to take the answers that we find and use them to fuel us into the future. Ask yourself, “How can I make this year even better for me spiritually than last year?”
If God gives us one more year, then you will be sitting here 365 days from now and evaluating our life once again. What plans need to be made now? What actions do you need to start? What do you need to do so that one year from today you will be more like Christ than you are today?
It took just a few hours.
At midnight, I celebrated the New Year by taking a picture of my children drinking sparkling grape juice. I was tired and immediately went to bed. I woke up late and went to Church. All in all, it was a good morning.
I had started the year off in a great way. Family and faith are foremost on my list of important things for 2017. I had started well and knew this was going to be the best year ever. To reinforce my thinking, I saw all these posts on Facebook telling me about the enormous opportunities of the new year. I had twelve perfect hours and was sure this year was going to be better than all the others.
Then it happened. I sinned.
I will spare you the embarrassing details. Who am I kidding? I will spare myself the embarrassment of telling you the depth of my depravity. But there I was, less than 24 hours into the new year and my heart and mind had betrayed me. I was left a victim to the sin that lives in my heart that I was hoping would not visit the new year.
One day and I had already failed my God.
Then it hit me. This year will be like every other year. I do not mean that I will sit idly by and let sin run my life. I will fight hard against the evil that invades my life. I hope this year is full of change and improvement in my walk with God. I do mean that this year I will be completely dependent on the grace and mercy of God, just like every year before this one.
Even though the calendar has changed and I have made new commitments for the coming year I still live needing God’s forgiveness. I need grace in my thoughts and my actions. The new year reminds me that no matter how much I grow, change or improve, I still need to embrace God’s love and mercy in my life each and every day.
Second Chance Pastor 