It may surprise you to know that I am not a very busy person. Sure, I have busy weeks just like everyone else, but those are the exception and not the rule. I used to try to max out every day of my life. I was proud to work long hours, volunteer my time and lead community organizations. As you can imagine, those days lead me to be nearly burned out as a Pastor.

Over the last 7 years, I have committed myself to not being busy all the time. For me, that meant learning to say “no” to numerous activities. I dropped out of community civic clubs, stop doing most weddings, limited my involvement in youth sports and started keeping a tighter schedule. In fact, I find myself saying “no” much more than I say “yes.”

First – I needed to establish my priorities. For my that meant making a short list of who gets my time. My time goes to the Lord, my wife, my children and my job. I enjoy sports and so does my family, but it is not a priority. I enjoy having several hobbies but they will not take away from what is really important.

Second – I needed to set boundaries. For example, if you want to meet with me on a Friday, my response is “no.” Friday is a day off to recharge my battery and spend time with my family. This type of thinking lets me leave most nights open instead of packing them full too.

Third – I needed to stop playing to the crowd. Too often we are busy because we desire to make everyone happy. We can quickly fill our time trying to please the people who we feel are watching. It sounds like this, “I better get more involved at school or the other parents will think I am a slacker.”

Fourth – I needed to understand that most busy people end up in heartache. I am not trying to scare you, but most of the people I know who have had an affair, one of the people was too busy. Either they were not at home and they got connected to a person at work or they were always alone while their spouse worked and finally they got lonely. Long hours and lonely nights are always a recipe for destruction.

Fifth – I needed to stop trying to be God. One of the reasons I was busy was because I tried to live as if everything depended on me. My control issues would not let me give responsibility to anyone else. I thought that no one could do it better than me. I kept taking on more and more work while I tried to control the world. I had to learn to trust people and let God run my universe.

Over time my life has gone from run, run, run while trying to multitask to a large amount of my time is free. It is not because I do not care about other things, it is because being busy was a symptom of the problem with my soul. Sometimes the most Godly thing we can do is to say “no” to the rest so that we can say “yes” to the best.

Last week our Church brought on a new children’s minister to serve here at Adrian Christian Church. She and her family are settling into their new home, new Church and new town. We are glad she is here and have high hopes for the future of our children’s ministry at the Church. In an effort to make her transition go even better I want to make a few suggestions.

1. Pray for Her and Her Family.
This is always the best place to start. Transitioning a family is hard. Not only is everything new but the old is now far away. Family and friends were left behind along with all of the life they knew. Pray they transition well and this feels like home very soon. Pray for her new ministry and the work she has to do. Pray that God will do an amazing work in their lives and in the life of this Church.

2. Invite Their Family.
When you are new to a community it is hard to find new friends, new places to eat and fun things to do. It is wonderful when people in the Church invite you over for meals and time to visit. It is an honor when people invite you to different events in the community. It is a blessing when people take you out to eat and show you the local favorites. Don’t forget them as they are trying to settle in.

3.Step Up and Step Down.
Every time I have moved to a new town I have found a group of people serving selflessly. Then something interesting happens, I arrive and people start quitting. The thinking is usually, “We hired them to do that.” The reality is that when a new minister arrives, they need more help and not less. They have projects and programs that will help our Church and our children and they need more volunteers than ever. This is not the time to quit your service, it is the time for more people to step up and do more.

4. Start or Continue Your Giving
Honestly, a new staff member costs the Church money. We have budgeted so that we can pay for her salary. The hard truth is that as she does more for our children we will need more money. Your giving not only pays her to serve the Lord at our Church, but it also pays for all of her ministry needs. Money is an ugly topic but is it necessary to do ministry.

5. Invite Children to Join Us (and their parents)
Over the next several months we will be adding new programs and making old programs even better. What better time for you to invite more children to join us each week. It might be for a Sunday morning or for a special event. What a great time to reach the children in our community with message of the gospel.

I am praying that God will use our new minister to do great things. I am also praying that our Church and our community will love and support them in every way.

I never wanted to be a youth minister. Honestly, I never wanted to be a preacher. Through several divine circumstances I ended up a preacher and at every ministry I have also served as the leader of the youth program. As a result, I have spent 23 years working with Jr High and High School students and their parents. I am currently a High School Sunday school teacher and one of the leaders of our Church’s youth group.

While serving the Church God also gave me the privilege of raising four boys of my own. One of them has now gone off to college, another is a senior, one is a sophomore and the youngest is in 8th grade. Having my own children in the youth group that I lead has given me some unique perspectives on all that we do.

I think my experience has given me the opportunity to write about why I believe that all youth should be involved in youth group.

1. They need spiritual instruction.
A teenage Sunday school class or teen youth group are great places to learn about God, Jesus, the Bible, and spiritual matters. Every week a teacher spends hours preparing a lesson to challenge and teach. Where else in the world are they going to get that? If a teen is not exposed to regular teaching in some form, then I highly doubt they are growing in their faith.

2. They need to see adults who model the faith.
Every week a there is a group of adults who really want to show your children what it means to follow Jesus. I have yet to have a youth sponsor or teacher who did not care about the kids on a very deep level. Children, especially teens, need to see adults other than their parents who are trying to live for Jesus.

3. They need to connect with people their own age who believe.
All people, including teenagers, need support in their faith. Youth group is a gateway to connect with people of like faith. Many of the youth who come do not have a lot in common. I firmly believe that is great. It gives the teens a chance to step out of their own group and see the many wonders of God found in different people.

4. They are not old enough to decide on their own.
I have had dozens of parents argue with me over this one. They say, “I don’t want to force them to go. They might resent me or the Church. I let them choose on their own.” I simply respond by saying “That’s crazy.” You don’t let them chose to go to school. You don’t let them chose to listen to their teachers or not. You don’t let them chose what they want to eat. You don’t let them chose what time they go to bed. You don’t let them chose to go to practice or listen to their coach. You make all kinds of choices for them. I guarantee they do not like your choices in many of those but they see that you are not budging so they do not fight it (often). Then when it comes to spiritual matters you tell them, “Whatever you want.” That is crazy. I believe a Godly character is more important than sports or school. There is no way I am letting my kids decide until they are out of my house. Sure, even my kids have resisted it when the school doesn’t respect Wednesday night. They know it doesn’t matter, they are going and they can miss the school function. You are the parent and don’t give the responsibilities that go with raising your kids in a Godly manner to anyone else.

5. They learn through the choices of the priorities their parents display.
Straight talk. If you make school and sports and vacation and whatever else a priority over Church or youth group, then your children learn what is really important. If you treat Church youth functions as the lowest priority on your list, they know that. Then one day they leave the house and they quit Church and you tell me, “They were raised better than that.” I want to say, “Not really.”

I am not going to tell you that Church youth functions are always wonderful. Some of them suck. We plan and prepare and things just don’t go well. But that is is also true of school functions and sports functions. Not everything is great and that’s life. You know what else? Sometimes it is incredible. I have seen teens brought to cheers and to tears. God was present and lives were molded for eternity. In fact, I have seen more good things happen in Church youth functions than bad and I would hate for your child to miss it.

On the last Sunday in September 1993, I was officially hired to be a preacher at a Church. I had preached several times over my first three years of college as a “supply preacher.” That means I preached one sermon on one Sunday and never came back. I suppose I had already preached at least 75 sermons by the time I was asked to go and speak at Urich Missouri at Christ’s Christian Church. I spoke the first time on Labor day weekend. The handful of people who attended that day liked the sermon enough to invite me back to speak the next Sunday. After three sermons, they held me after Church for a short meeting and invited me to come back every weekend as their preaching pastor. I agreed and that began my life as a preacher.

Since that first Church invited me to preach I have been the preacher in six Churches in four states. I have preached 48 or more times every year except one when I was between ministries. I estimate that I have preached over 1,200 sermons along with giving countless Sunday school lessons, youth group lessons and numerous other public teachings.

For twenty-three years my life has been about ministry. In this time I have learned numerous lessons about Church, about life and being a preacher. Here are a couple of things I wish I knew 23 years ago.

1.You never know when or how God will show up.
Frequently I am amazed at what I see God doing. People’s lives are touched by my worst sermons. Events that seem like failures can produce the most growth in someone’s life. A stubborn person will be exceedingly nice. Serving the Lord will be full of disappointing times but it will surprise you in the most unexpected ways. God usually shows up when we least expect it.

2.Remain faithful to God above all else.
People will come and go. Ministry fads will come and go. Musical styles will come and go. Every year will bring exciting new ideas and old ideas will be buried in the files. Change is a constant in ministry except for God and his word. Stay true to him. Pray daily. Read regularly. Worship completely. Never compromise your faith.

3.There is unChristian behavior everywhere, even the in the Church.
There are people in the Church who will manipulate, gossip and be downright mean. There are people like this everywhere, you just hope that changes when they come to Church. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. Remember that everyone heard Jesus preach including the disciples, the Pharisees and the crowd who shouted “Crucify.” You have to focus on the good people and forget all the bad or ministry will kill your faith.

I know that if the preacher I am today had a chance to talk to me in 1993 I would have a lot to say. These three are the biggest things I would need to hear. I did not expect them. I thought God would show up all the time. I thought ministry methods were enduring and important. I thought the Church was full of wonderful people and everyone would love me. Those things were simply not true. Ministry is a place where I serve God day in and day out and sometimes he shows up and surprises me. Frequently he does it through some of his people in the Church. Real ministry is about serving God and nothing else. Never forget that.

Richard Beck used an analogy in a blog post that I find interesting. I thought I would share it with you today and maybe you will too.

He says that he attends Church worship programs to encounter God. He willingly admits that some weekends it seems like the Lord is not present. At least, if God is present he didn’t hear a word that touched his life or a song that inspired him or a prayer that moved his spirit. Some weeks he leaves feeling empty. And yet, he returns to worship next week.

Then he said something like this. I call this my “Road Kill” theology. I picture myself as a chicken crossing the road every week. Sure I might not get hit by a truck this week, but if I do it 52 times a year I have definitely increased my chances. If I just keep running back and forth across the road eventually the Spirit of God will run me over and I will feel something.

I think I understand what he means. You never know when God will show up and touch your life in some way at Church. My prayer is that you get run over this weekend.

The challenge for believers is to spend a lifetime growing in their faith. We are called to learn more about the ways of God and live in light of that information. It is seen in the radical and the gradual changes we make in our behaviors. Christian growth is a transformation into Christlikeness.

The problem I see in many Christians is that they have settled for the appearance of growth. We go to Church as spectators. We attend the religious functions for entertainment. We buy the Christian books to fill our shelves. We own a big, thick study Bible. We have the Bible app on our phone and we know how to use it. Some people even go so far as to buy religious pictures, t-shirts and bumper stickers. Unfortunately, we can fill our lives with numerous things that appear religious and still never really grow.

I know of a person who has dozens of weight loss books, videos on diet and exercise and a collection of exercise equipment. The only problem is that they never lose any weight. By appearance, you would think this person was healthy based on the items that surround their life. The reality is far different.

True growth as a believer is not seen in the items you own or the tools you know how to use. True growth is about developing a character that is more like Jesus every day. Don’t settle for anything less, no matter how appealing it looks.

Growing up in Indiana basketball was my childhood sport. I didn’t play football and I rarely attended a high school game. Most of the college football on Saturday was uninteresting compared to hunting, fishing, and a thousand other outside activities. At the time, Indiana did not have a professional team. It wasn’t until I was a little older that the Colts moved to Indiana and they moved because they were terrible. Every so often I would watch a pro football player with excitement like Larry Csonka, Earl Campbell or John Riggins. My knowledge of the game was limited through most of my childhood.

It wasn’t until I graduated college that I started watching much football. My routine was to come home from Church and flip on the TV and watch football while napping. Exhausted from Church I could start a game then fall asleep and wake up for the fourth quarter. As time went by my enjoyment of the game increased. Finally, my children came along and eventually they wanted to play sports. In Epworth, Iowa the main sport is football. We jumped in and I quickly had to learn the game. When we moved to Alaska I became even more involved as a coach and eventually as the president of the local Pop Warner program. Now I watch my boys play high school football every Friday under the lights.

I tell you all of that to underline knowledge and often limited knowledge of the game. The one thing I know for sure is that the most important players on a team often receive little praise. Everyone loves a quarterback who can throw. A great running back is a thing of beauty. An exceptional wide receiver can make highlight films each week. A lineman rarely receives recognition or praise.

And yet, some of the most important people on a team are the linemen. They block for the quarterback giving him time to throw the ball. They make holes for the running backs to run up the field. Linemen work in the trenches of football where hand to hand combat happens every play. They work hard with little praise. Most of the post-game interviews are the highlight players while the linemen shower to remove the dirt and blood that reward their work. I know a football dad who continually reminds me to praise the linemen when the team wins. Without their hard work, the game is lost no matter what the quarterback does each play. I have come to know that he is right.

As a pastor, I know that the Church needs a lot of people who are willing to be linemen. People who are willing to serve with little or no praise. People who get their hands dirty every week without being noticed. For every great sermon that people enjoy there were 25 people who worked in the nursery, children’s Church, sound, Powerpoint and cleaned the building that made my job possible. I call them Church linemen. And they are the real heroes of the faith whether anyone recognizes it or not. Thanks everyone for all that you do to make me look good.

Over the last couple of months, I have noticed a trend on Facebook. At least it keeps reappearing through the posts of the 250 people or so that I have as friends. I have seen it in direct statements and posted under pictures. People have said something like this, “My children are my whole world.” The other option is a picture of their children with the caption, “My world in one picture.”

I admit the first time I saw it I was a little concerned. The second and third time I noticed it, my anxiety heightened. By the time I saw it the other day I decided I could no longer keep quiet. As a pastor, I see the problem this type of thinking causes in families and in people over the long-term.

1.It is not good for your relationship with God.
As a believer, God is your whole life. Nothing less. I fear we are living in a culture that has made children into an idol. (Read this post). Let me ask you: Are you more afraid of God’s disapproval of your decisions or your children’s? Do you give more time and money to your children’s programs than to the Lord’s work? Children are great, but they are not God.

2. It is not good for your relationship with your spouse.
I see this huge flaw in people’s marriage that takes 18 plus years to work itself out. One of the parents, or possibly both of them, put all their emphasis on their children. Then one day their child goes off to college and the marriage is empty. When making our children “our whole world” we can easily neglect our spouse and reap the long-term results of that failure.

3. It is not good for your children.
If you treat your child as the center of the world then don’t be surprised when they grow up to be self-centered, egotistical narcissists. Our children need to know that God’s will is primary, that marriage is important and that other people matter. I firmly believe that children need to know they are not the center of the world to grow up with a healthy view of themselves and the world around them.

4. It is not healthy for a parent emotionally.
Children will not give us everything we need in life. Every person needs adult friendships with mature conversation. We need people to challenge us and hold us accountable. We need to have people who mentor and teach us. Having strong relationships with other mature adults are vital to our overall emotional health. Many people spend every moment trying to make their child happy and they neglect themselves in the process.

I know a few people will read this and say, “Well, that is not exactly what I meant. I just meant my children are very important to me.” I understand. I have four boys and I love them all very much. I also understand that we need to be very careful about crossing lines that move us into destructive behaviors. When our life begins to put our children first in everything then the end result is never what we planned.

I frequently get invited to watch people do an autopsy on their failures. They lay open the remnants of their sin and dissect every detail to discover what went wrong. They set in my office heartbroken as they tell me of their slide into the mess they have made of their lives.

I have heard their stories dozens of times. None of them seem to shock me anymore. In fact, most of them sound eerily similar. There are several predictable behaviors on the slide into sin.

1.A Disconnection from Church. I know you would expect a preacher to say that, but it is true. With the disconnection from Church, there is no longer anyone pushing them to live a life for God. No songs, no sermons and little or no scripture on a regular basis to fill their minds with Godly living.

2. A Withdrawal from Others. Frequently people will lose their connection to other people on every level. If anyone gets close there is a withdrawal from them as they might see into the darkness of their life. Isolation is common.

3.A Dance With Questionable Behavior. This usually occurs about the same time as the last activity. The person starts to do things that they know are wrong. They push boundaries to see they will break. This is usually a dance between the fledgling steps of sin and then the feelings of guilt when it happens. This is repeated frequently.

4.A Dulling of the Senses. The further sin takes us, the less we feel the guilt for doing it. We push the boundaries further and further away from where we used to be. Slowly we move to the point where sin overtakes our lives.

5.A Discovery of Destruction. Eventually, sin finds you out. For some their conscience gets heavy and they admit their failure. For others, it comes through an unforeseen discovery. Usually when their senses were being dulled their mind was also unclear and left a traceable path for others to find. For some, their actions were neatly hidden and it takes years before the truth comes to light, but it always does.

Every time I listen to their stories I see this predictable pattern of behavior emerge. They look at me in desperation and say, “How did I get here?”

I know they do not want me to outline the steps. They are not looking for me to retrace history. They know the truth. They just never thought it would happen to them. Then the truth hits them hard and they realize the shame that comes with all sin.

I wonder where are you on this journey? Which step are you taking?

I know you think, “It will never happen to me.” Everyone thinks that until they are in too deep.

There is a slow drift into sin and very few see it coming while it is happening. You need to live with your eyes open and continually be seeking the wisdom of those around you. Be careful. Sin is knocking at the door.

Here are some of the best articles I have read in the last few weeks. Sorry there are not many. Much of what I am reading lately all sounds the best. These were the best. Enjoy.

When Life Hurts

3 Terrible Pieces of Life Advice People Keep Sharing

12 Signs You May Be Making Your Children Idols

Why Marriage Is Better Than Cohabitation

I have shared this on facebook, if you have not seen it yet, it might be the best thing you see today.
Take 10 minutes, watch it to the very end and enjoy.