Fifteen years ago, there was a moment when I sat on the floor of my garage weeping uncontrollably. I had just gotten another phone call attack, and the weight was more than I could bear. I had been holding back emotions for months, and at that moment the dam burst and all I could do was moan and cry. It was one of the four darkest seasons of my life. Through the years I have dissected those times to see patterns that emerge and use those to help myself and others.

1. I Begin to Personalize Issues. If you make any decisions in life, someone will hate you for it. This can be with your spouse, your children, your job or even a volunteer group. Someone is not going to like what you did, and most will be sure and tell you about it. There is this smooth transition from “they don’t like my decision,” to “they hate me.”

2. Listening to the Wrong Voices. Whenever I have been questioned, I look to people for validation. It is amazing how their words seem biased and too loving for me to hear. They have to say these things because they are my family. “Surely the mean people are just honest,” we think.

3. The Voice in My Head Turns Evil. Slowing everything going in my head starts to turn ugly. Shame, remorse, regret, and feelings of inadequacy fill my every thought, even when I have done nothing wrong.

4. Self-Fulling Prophecies of Ugliness. Before I leave the house, I have already convinced myself that something bad is going to happen. I know that when I see them, they are going to say something mean. Worse yet, they are going to see me and try to go the other way. I know the worst is coming in every interaction. I hear everything with a negative twist in each conversation.

5. Why Try? I start asking fatalistic questions of my actions. If nothing is going to work out for good, why keep doing anything?

6. Isolation. Deep down I think that if I want the pain to stop it comes from eliminating other people from my life. Avoid people, and all will be fine. Instead, the voices in my head get louder until the darkness overtakes me.

These have been the steps that seem to emerge every time my life slips into a funk. Maybe you have experienced similar things in your life? Perhaps you are experiencing them now?

For me, there have been two remedies that have helped me to overcome the darkness that always seems to be lurking. First, I need to be aware of these patterns. I need to process my thinking and be knowledgeable of the path I am walking.

Second, I need to work hard to do the opposite at each point. I need to not personalize everything. I need to more people around me who love and support me. I need to fill my head with positive thoughts and voices. I need to see the good in every situation and expect things to work out for the best. I need to keep doing the right thing every day. I need to bring people into my life when I feel like pushing them away.

I once went on a week-long fishing trip with a group of guys as part of a Christian camp. I talked to one older gentleman an extended period as we drove the twenty-four plus hours to our camp. He told me about a time in his life that he was so down that he considered suicide. He was a farmer, and everything had gone wrong that year with his crops, his family and for him personally. At the end of the conversation, he said, “You never know how dark it can be until you get there.”

Well, I have been there. I sat on the floor of my garage crying while calling out to God. He began to show me the light, and I finally moved out of that painful place. It took months to completely recover, but I made it. I am praying that if you are reading this, that God will help you find the light again. It is possible. I know it was true for me and it can happen for you too.

The journey of faith is not always a clear track as we walk the narrow way. Frequently there are objects in our way that cause us to stumble and make some missteps along the path.

Some days the temptation is overwhelming, and we are tripped up by our desires.

Some days shame and regret feel bigger than grace.

Some days the voice in my head shouts louder than the words of God.

Some days the people in our life let us down just when we need them most.

Some days the steps are steep, and there is no one to hold us up.

Following Jesus is not a perfect journey made without mistakes. The sin in our hearts misleads us, and we stumble. Pain, remorse, regret become familiar feelings. The people you hoped would give you strength allow you to fall. There you lie flat on your face.

The key to making this trek a success is that you get back up every time you fall. You do not stay down wallowing in the fact that you are once again on the ground. You must get up, learn from the experience and keep walking the path toward God. True faith pushes us forward day after day ever toward eternity.

Right now, you might be down. That’s okay. Pick yourself up in faith and move farther down the path that leads you closer to God. A successful Christian life involves failure, but it is not permanent unless you allow it to become that way.

Here are a couple of the best posts I’ve read over the previous weeks. Enjoy and see you on Sunday.

Wine, Women, and Social Anxiety: Helping Women Who Use Alcohol to Inoculate Fear

10 EXCITING DISCOVERIES IN BIBLICAL ARCHAEOLOGY IN 2018

Whenever I talk to people about their service for the Lord, I usually can expect one of three responses.

1. Many people are very proud of what they did for God in the past. They can detail what they once did and how wonderful it was for everyone. There are fond memories of when they gave of themselves genuinely, and people were blessed.

2. Other people will tell me about what they intend to do for God. Numerous people have great ideas of some ministry they will one day do that will bless so many. Someday when they have more time, like after the kids are grown or when they retire, they will be unstoppable. They want to bless the world, but something is holding them back. They are convinced that one day nothing will stand in their way and they live with the dream of good intentions.

3. Some people can tell me what they are currently doing for God. This group is usually a little worn out. They are pushing the limits of their time and capabilities. They worry that they are not doing everything good enough for the kingdom, but they serve anyway.

Everyone falls into one of these three categories. Some people live in the past and others in the future, but few live in the present. The work of the Lord is not for those who have their one moment in the sun or even for those with big dreams. Kingdom work is about people getting up every day and serving even when they are not sure they are having an impact. It is not ability but rather availability. The ultimate question for the Christian is “What have you done for God lately?”

As we rolled into 2019, I read several articles about the changes we might need to make in 2019. Behind each of their suggestions and proposed resolutions was the idea that each person was honest with themselves about their life situation. This rarely seems to be true. Most people I know are not making the necessary changes in their lives because they are living with self-delusion. No one is asking them the hard questions about their life, and most of what they see is self-affirming. It appears everyone else has their life together so we must be doing okay.

I think that before you overcome obstacles in personal growth, you must first be aware of their presence. This typically requires you to ask questions about yourself that no one else is asking you. Here are a few self-evaluation questions for today and the rest of 2019.

1. How are you feeling? I am not asking what you smile and tell people at work or what you post on social media. You need to be honest with yourself about your deepest feelings. Are you sad, lonely, hurting or even apathetic? Do you genuinely feel joy, happiness, and the love of those around you? Before you can change the way you feel, you need to confront those emotions head on. Why are you feeling this way? Does anyone else know? What might you need to change to make it better?

2. How is your marriage? Do you feel closer to your spouse today than you did just one year ago? What are you doing to build this relationship? Are you privately holding onto resentment and unresolved anger? What could you do to make your marriage better for both of you?

3. How is it going as a parent? Do you feel like things are going well? Are your children growing in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man? Have you asked anyone for advice or help lately? Do you feel all alone in a sea of emotions without any clue of your next step?

4. Do you have any healthy Christian relationships? Every word of that description is important to evaluate. Do you have any real friends? Are those friends people who have a healthy relationship with their spouse, their children, and the Lord? Is it someone you can be honest with about questions 1-3?

5. How is your soul? Is your relationship with God growing, declining or stagnant? Do you have the joy of your salvation and sharing it with the people you know? Are you serving God with your whole heart? Does time in worship inspire or depress you? Are you learning more about God’s word in a way that is transforming your life?

I realize that most of these questions are very subjective. The answers might even change from week to week. The truth remains that you need to be continually asking the right questions about your life. Ancient writer Plato recalls a speech of Socrates in which he said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” His words ring truer today, at a time when we are obsessed with our public image on social media. To live a life that honors God and gives you peace you must be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Would you be willing to ask these questions to yourself today?

For most people today is just an average Tuesday. It is different for me. Two years ago today I said goodbye to my father until eternity.

It is true that time has eased some of the pain, but it certainly has not erased it. Just yesterday I was listening to a song about overcoming the grave, and I immediately broke into tears. It happens less frequently these days, yet it still occurs more than I would have expected.

I cry less, but I still cry. It happens when I want to tell him something about my boys. It happens when I remember a story that only he and I knew. It happens when I need some life advice that only a father can give. It happens when I hear a corny “dad joke” that he would have loved. It sometimes happens when I just need a friend who knows me better than I know myself.

I have a simple thought for you today. (I will probably give you the same thought this day for the rest of my life). If your dad is still alive, take the time to call them, text them, or stop by and visit. You never know when they will be gone, and there will be a hole that is impossible to fill.

I saw a sign in a shop that referred to the story of David and Goliath found in 1 Samuel chapter 17. It stated that if we have Goliath in front of us that we must believe there is a David inside of us. A quick reading made me smile, and then I began to process the real message of the words. It was another attempt to get us to “believe in ourselves” as a source of power and achievement. If we convince ourselves that we have the ability to accomplish anything inside of us, then we can make it happen.

The problem is that David did not have any faith in himself. In fact, the story found in the Bible records that David believed in something different.

1 Samuel 17:45-47 David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. (46) This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. (47) All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” (NIV 2011)

Goliath, the tremendous Philistine fighter, saw the stature of David and recognized that he was nothing. David did not respond by giving himself a motivation talk and mustering all the faith in himself he could gather. No. David acknowledges his weakness, and that his strength and victory would come from God alone.

Perhaps you are struggling with some situation in life. Everyone is telling you that all you must do is “believe in yourself” and you will make it through. I want you to know that belief in yourself is misplaced faith. Only God is big enough to overcome Goliath.

True faith is about trusting that God is bigger than your circumstances and will give you victory as only he is able. David ‘s faith was in God, and he overcame Goliath with a sling and a stone.

I don’t want you to believe you have a David inside of you; I want you to believe in the God who defeated Goliath in spite of David’s inadequacies and allow him to help you in your situation.

Let me start by saying that I am a big believer in the power of prayer. The Bible affirms over and over in places like Matthew chapter seven that we should ask, and God will respond. While I cannot explain precisely how prayer works, I have seen the power of God in response to my requests. People have received healing, doors of opportunity have opened, and events happened that were beyond explanation.

With that said, I also believe there are some prayers that we do not need to pray. Instead of prayer, the remedy is action.

Let me explain; I can sit in my house and pray all day long that God will give me the finances to pay my bills or I can get a job and work. I can ask God to provide for that family in need or I can go to the store and buy them some supplies. I can ask God to heal my marriage, or I can go to my spouse and talk with them, ask for forgiveness or offer it.

Recently as I was praying, I said something out loud, and then I paused. At that moment I realized I was asking God to act because I was too lazy or scared (or both) to do anything myself. Then I took a few moments to reevaluate my prayer list and found a couple of items that did not require God, but me to act.

We must be careful not to use prayer to try to manipulate God into doing our work. Maybe the thing you need to do today is spending more time in prayer. Maybe the opposite is also true. Perhaps you need to get up and do or say the thing that will bring a resolution to your problems. God has already given you legs, a car, a voice, or simply a phone and you need to use those in answer to your prayers.

You need to keep praying, but you also need to keep doing the right thing.

Failure is a word I know well. As a boy, I struggled in sports, and while I was not the last picked at recess, I was certainly not the first. By High School, my dreams of playing in the NBA were abandoned after a couple of seasons of riding the bench on the “B” team. As an adult, I coached my children’s football team to a 1-win season and a basketball team to a season with no victories. Those are just a few examples of my complete lack of success.

Recently I revisited these thoughts while sitting in a tree stand deer hunting. If you are not familiar with the Midwest, people here will hunt whitetail deer for fun and food. This year I took my third son Dakota with me on my adventures, and we had high hopes of shooting a nice buck. We sat together during the 10-day gun season and were unable to complete the task of shooting a trophy for his wall. Then at Christmas, we hunted during another 10-day season with a muzzleloader. Once again, we failed to complete the mission.

On one of the final days of sitting and waiting with nothing in view, my mind began to bemoan our failure in a prayer to God. It was in that moment that I heard God speak to me in my inner spirit. The thoughts were clear and penetrating. “How do I define success? Is having a successful hunt about getting another deer, a set of antlers for the wall and a picture on my phone? If that is how I define success, then I am a failure. But if I look at it from a different angle, you might find another perspective.”

While sitting there, I started to flip my thinking about this whole experience. Over these two 10-day seasons I was able to spend numerous hours with my son. We rose early and talked on the way to the woods. We sat together and shared a few laughs. Some encounters went beyond our normal routine with various wildlife. For a few hours every day, we both put down our phones and enjoyed the world God has created for us.

My thinking continued, every time I have encountered a seeming failure, I could look at it another way and find it a huge success. I dropped out of sports in high school and spent those years with my dad hunting and fishing. Those losing sports seasons created memories my family still talks about today. The moments in life when I feel like a loser, I could also see as a success from a different vantage point.

I know the same is true for your life. Those times when life seems to beat you down, there is probably something great happening that we are missing. We get so focused on our concept of success that we miss the little joys God gives us on this journey.

So Dakota and I never did get a big deer together, and I am one hundred percent happy with it. In fact, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I could have a deer, or I could have more time with the people I love. I think the latter of the two is a more significant success.

I am back from a much-needed break. I have spent the last nine days out of the office and largely off my computer and social media. Most of this time was spent with family, deer hunting, playing board games and generally relaxing.

For me, 2018 was a year that started well but became a struggle the last two months. Church attendance was down, I felt strong spiritual attacks, the schedule was full, and nothing really happened the way I had hoped. I ended the year spiritually, emotionally and mentally worn down. I was extremely thankful that I had planned a vacation many months ago. It was an opportunity to recharge my battery and look ahead.

Now I stand with both feet firmly planted in a new year. Honestly, I can’t believe it is 2019, and yet here we are today. Instead of focusing on last year I am trying to put all of my attention on moving into this year. Here are two areas where I am trying to focus my attention in 2019.

1. Developing Disciples.
If you were a few minutes with any pastor and you will find the same information to be true. Christians are attending the Sunday morning Church worship gathering less and less. People used to attend 3-4 Sundays every month, and now the numbers indicate that most people are attending two times or less a month. It is causing pastors everywhere to rethink their church meetings. After some reading and reflections, I am convinced that the new emphasis for the Church is going to be discipleship over attendance. Simply asked, “Are people learning and growing as believers in Jesus?” This will be a major thrust of our Church’s leadership and my ministry.

2. Moving into the Digital Future.
Recently I have realized how much of my ministry today looks the same as it did when I graduated college in 1995. I still approach my work in the Church with all the emphasis on the Sunday morning experience. Well, the times they are a changing. Now, much of what we do as a Church can be done in an online format. This has me processing all the possibilities for digital ministry this year; I hope to add more and more content to our website that can be viewed anytime. I am not exactly sure what all of this means because the possibilities seem endless. All I am know is that I am going to move myself and our Church into more fully embracing the online options for ministry.

What are you planning for this year? What would you like to see our Church or any Church do in 2019?

I am excited about this year and everything the future holds for the people of God. I am moving forward with prayer and numerous questions along with the faith that God will continue to do his mighty work if we are open to his leading.