My boys have been an active part of the worship program in our Church. They play guitars and sing almost every week with my wife as the lead. As a group, my four boys have sung numerous Church both new and old. They love all types of music and are very familiar with all types of music, but like all people they have songs that are their favorites.

I am no different from my boys. I have been a part of number of Churches and I have sang songs from almost every page of the hymnbook clear to the latest song from the Passion album. Through the years I have developed a list of songs that are my favorites. Some are favorites because of the lyrics, some are favorites because of the tunes and some are favorites because of an emotional connection.

This last week for our worship program I picked the traditional hymn “Amazing Grace.” During rehearsal on Wed night they began signing the song. They have sung it before but usually we do the updated version by Chris Tomlin called “My Chains Are Gone.” As they tried singing the song they struggled with the tempo and it was a little high for their vocal range. Quickly they began laughing and joking about the song. Now, honestly, I have to say that I was a little offended. This song has special memories to me. It has solid lyrics that express the essentials of the Christian faith.

Suddenly I was reminded of a simple truth – What is precious to me is not precious to everyone. Actually I was reminded of a summer I spent in England. The Church there did not sing Amazing Grace on Sunday morning because the song was traditionally used only at graveside funeral services. The people (in that community at least) did not see the song as a worship song, but rather a song of parting and sorrow.

I have seen this truth played out another way. When moving from one Church to another I have often been told that their Church sings several traditional old hymns. Then when I arrived I found out that they did not sing “my” traditional old hymns. They had their own set of favorites usually influenced by their song leader or even their songbook.

I have my mist of favorite songs. So do you. So does everyone. But often I need to be reminded that my list is not the same as your list. People have favorites for different reasons and what is precious to me may not be precious to you. And the what is precious to you may not be precious to me. That’s okay. It is part of human nature. It is part of Church culture.

With all that said, lets all make a deal. I will sing your songs to the best of my ability with seriousness and honor … and you do the same for me. Then maybe instead of being a group of unconnected individuals we can be individuals who are connected together as a group.

Things are not always as they appear.

I was in the airport waiting for my plane to board. There were two young kids running wild. They were running around the area with toys and climbing over people. I looked to see the parents of these two little “monsters.” I was growing more and more agitated along with everyone else who was waiting to board.

Eventually I saw the two little kids come up to an elderly couple. From everything I could gather, these two sweet senior citizens were the grandparents of the two children. This elderly couple was trying to keep the kids out of people’s way, but the kids were just to young and fast.

I began to picture it clearly in my mind. The parents of these two young trouble makers are probably off on some expensive trip. They left their poor parents to care for their kids while they were off vacationing in Europe. The stories began to swirl through my mind and with each thought my anger was growing.

As people began to rearrange in the lobby to board the plane the elderly couple moved closer to me. The lady was talking to another lady as they waited in line. I hate to admit it but I started listening to her conversation. I did not hear all she was saying to the other lady clearly as they talked but I could hear some of what was said. The word I heard a few times was “funeral.” From what I could gather they were either traveling to or from a funeral.

Suddenly my feelings changed. “Did one of the parents die?” “Did one of the parents loose a loved one and have to have the grandparents step in to help?” I could think of several sad scenarios because I knew the travel with these two children was prompted by a funeral.

Knowing some of the back story to these kids totally changed my perspective. They were no longer just annoying little kids. Instead they were just a little energetic. Instead of being spoiled brats from some rich parents they were victims of loss that they may feel for years. Knowing part of their back story deeply affected how I viewed these children and the situation I was experiencing with them.

All of this has me thinking about other people’s back story. That angry lady at the post office, the frustrated cashier at the grocery store, the distracted Church attendee and the happy high school boy are all living complicated lives. Maybe if I knew the rest of their story it would affect the way I viewed that person. Maybe the lesson this experience taught me is to learn more about a person and their situation before I make a judgment about their character.

Last night I was watching a movie with my family when my boys started talking about the main character. They talked about how they knew they were not going to die because they were the “main” character. Then they started talking about what they would do if they were the main character. What they would say and where they would go and how they would live.

Suddenly my mind started racing through numerous ideas. I thought about how we are the main character in our own story and we can chose to take any action. Then I thought about the story that happens after the movie. Usually we only see a 2 hour glimpse of the main characters lives and how we never know what happens to them after the cameras stopped.

Finally I landed on this concept. When we hear or read or see a story played out, we always seem to identify with the good main character. We always interject our lives into the story of the superhero or the star. We are always Rocky and never Apollo Creed. We are always Rudy and never the third string quarterback who gets demoted to the practice squad. We are always Spiderman and never the Oscorp employee.

What makes this even more interesting to me is the fact that this happens when we read the Bible too. We always identify with Jesus or with Paul or with one of the disciples. We are never a Pharisee or Judas or one of the people chanting “crucify.”

I wonder how would your Bible reading change if you changed your perspective in the story. What if your life was not seen as the hero of each story but on the opposite side? What if you were a Pharisee who had given your life to keeping the Old Testament instead of the disciple who jumped to follow Jesus? How would the Bible sound to you if you were an outsider to faith? A change in perspective might change the way I apply the story.

Sometimes our Bible reading reveals more about us than we even realize.

Yesterday I preached a sermon on taking responsibility for our lives. I taught that each one of us will be accountable to God for what we did with the life he gave us. I went to 2 Corinthians 5:10, Hebrews 4:13 and 1 Peter 4:5 to underline this truth. I told people that we need to stop making excuses for what happens to our lives and start doing the right thing with our lives. We are not the product of other people’s actions but the product of our reactions.

Anyway, this morning I was reading though the blogs on my blog reader Feedly and saw this from “Indexed”

In a way, it was my sermon in a sentence. 🙂

The hardest part of moving to another Church is telling the Church you are currently serving. It can be a gut wrenching time. I love these people. I hate to leave these people. I know they are going to feel mad, hurt, betrayed, unloved and sad.

After having done this a couple of times I have found that after I have announced my resignation that it is good to disappear for a week or so. I take few calls, I work at home and I do not have any meetings.

The reason I do this is simple. It gives people time to think. The people who contact me that first week are often the ones who are feeling the situation very deeply. Give them a week to think and their words sound very different.

But there is a second side to this that is just as simple. You need to speak. There are a few people who withdrawal and never want to speak to me again. At least it seems that way. Honestly that can be the most painful thing.

My advice to any Church whose pastor is moving on is to take a little time and reflect on what this moves means to your pastor. Then drop a note or an email and say what is on your mind. I know I appreciate it. I imagine anyone would.

Seth Godin posted in a blog entitled “Treating People with Kindness”

One theory says that if you treat people well, you’re more likely to encourage them to do what you want, making all the effort pay off. Do this, get that.

Another one, which I prefer, is that you might consider treating people with kindness merely because you can. Regardless of what they choose to do in response, this is what you choose to do. Because you can.

Good stuff!

In my interviews with Churches, not only did they have the chance to ask me questions but I had the chance to ask them questions. This is always an enlightening experience to a pastor. It can reveal to me several vital pieces of information about a Church. I often ask about leadership, former staff, expectations and their struggles. Inevitably there will be a discussion about the events that a Church holds each year. Each Church seems to have a series of traditional events that they do every year. Some Churches do a summer Vacation Bible School (VBS), some Churches have special holiday gatherings and still other Churches have special youth or children’s programs. The list of possibilities is long.

I am often curious about why each Church holds these particular events. Usually no one can really answer that question. When the people feel unsure about their own reasons they begin to tell me about some past successes. “Our VBS used to bring in all the kids in town.” “Our youth Sundays used to be the highlight of the Christmas season.” “People used to come from all around for our 5th Sunday Singspiration.”

The follow-up question for me is, “And what is happening now?” The excuses flow. The blame often falls on busy schedules, poor parenting or some lack of commitment.

Let me share the truth with you. Once upon a time the Church held an event and it was wildly successful. It fit a need. It helped people. The Church was excited by this success so it said, “Let’s do this again next year.” And they did. It might have had even more success than the first time. People were excited and volunteers were up. The success of the first year catapulted the event into unbelievable success. New families came, people accepted Jesus as their Savior and lives were changed. The chant went out, “Let’s do this every year.”

So the Church began holding the same event every year. The same program was recycled year after year. It became a standing tradition in the Church. It is an event that we hold every year.

Something sad happened along the way. The membership of the congregation changed. The make up of the community changed. Schedules of families changed. Needs of the people changed. All the while the program stayed the same. Now it is not successful, but we keep right on doing it and hoping that one day it will be successful again.

All traditions are built on past success. I appreciate those victories. I applaud those visionaries servants.

The hard question to ask is if it is still successful. If not, who has the courage to kill it and start something new. But know, one day we will have to kill that program too.

One of the biggest questions I received during my interviews with several Churches (other than about worship) was, “What is the biggest thing you have learned about ministry through the years?” My response is so simple that one search committee member kept asking for another answer and got agitated when I told him the same thing over again.

My simple response was this: “Every Church and community is unique.”

It seemed that every Church wanted me to give them some steps that I would perform to help grow their Church. Honestly, there is no such thing. There are similarities between what Churches are doing that we can learn from, but that is about it. My first Church grew because of a group of people began inviting their friends and family. My second Church did not grow through the same approach. The next Church I lead in Indiana grew through having big days that people could invite their friends too. The new Church I lead in Iowa grow through advertising and through me performing hundreds of weddings. Here in Alaska the growth has come through my family and I being out in the community.

Honestly, there is very little that has transferred from one Church to another. Each community has unique needs, unique people and each has a unique background. Each Church has its own unique history, its own unique people and its own unique experience. For example, in the Church in Indiana I had a couple who invited almost all guests out to lunch each week at a local buffet. When they moved, the Church changed and we need to create a program for guest follow-up. That couple personally had a bigger hand in our growth than anything I did.

The struggle in Church is not to become like a Mega Church that we admire. The struggle is to utilize the way God has gifted us in the community that God has placed us.

That has been the biggest thing I have learned about practical ministry in over 20 years of preaching. God continues to underline it to me over and over again … along with His amazing ability to do anything in Church He wants. But that is another blog post 🙂

I am working on a series of posts about my experiences while interviewing with Churches across the country these past few months, but I would like to go ahead and write one today. The reason I write this one first is because it is based off of the number one question I received. That question came in one of two forms, “What are your views on worship?” or “Do you use contemporary or traditional worship?”

Well, first let me say that every Church I interviewed with had an average attendance of under 300. So the first thing that caught me is that many “average” Churches are still fighting the “worship wars” week after week. An average Church to me are Churches under 300 people that have not been started in the last 15 years. Church leaders may want us to think the issues of worship are a thing of the past, but they are very, very real.

The other side thing that catches my attention is heart of these questions. The biggest part of this discussion revolves our likes of dislikes. What do you like? What do I like? What do our younger people like? What our older people like is…

Here is my follow-up question, “When did worship become about us?” When did the measure of a good worship service become the people’s approval? For me the biggest question is “Was God pleased with our worship?”

I mean, is it really the worship of God when I stand smugly happy that we are singing a song that I like? Does it really glorify God when I refuse to sing a song because I do not like the style?

So my response to the question about worship was always the same, “I sing and use music that glorifies God.” That means that sometimes I use a hymn and sometimes I use an older chorus and sometimes I use a new song and sometimes I use a combination of old and new together. I have used children’s songs right along with adult songs. I use everything that people have written down to glorify God. Honestly, I firmly believe that if we try to glorify God in all that we sing then the style of worship becomes irrelevant.

I do not want a worship service that is traditional or contemporary. I want one that is God honoring in every way.

Several years ago I ran across a verse of scripture that has guided my preaching and teaching. It is a simple statement that the Apostle Paul makes to the elders from the Church int he city of Ephesus about his teaching while he was with them for three years.

Acts 20:20 (NIV) “You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house.”

What caught me in this verse is that Paul states that his preaching was designed to be “helpful.” His goal was not necessarily designed to be witty, insightful, enjoyable or deep. When he taught the word of God it was with the aim of being helpful.

So I have some questions I ask of everything I preach or teach:

1. Does this HELP people to know God better?
2. Does this HELP people to know God’s word better?
3. Does this HELP people to live out their faith?
4. Does this HELP people love each other more?
5. Does this HELP people to grow in Christ in any way?

I firmly believe that every time God’s word is proclaimed we need to have a practical element to it. We are not just presenting people with the Bible, but helping them in their relationship with God and with one another.