We have spent a large amount of time with my wife and I’s parents this summer. That has me thinking about grandparents and grandchildren his week. Yesterday I shared how to be a good grandparent. Today I want to share “How to be a good grandchild” but I know that no little kids read my blog. This blog post might be better titled “How to help your children appreciate their grandparents.”

1. Show physical affection. Grandparents love hugs and kisses from little boys and girls.

2. Say “I love you.” Grandparents and parents both want to hear those words regularly from their children – no matter how old.

3. Listen to their stories. Mom and dad may have heard the stories a thousand times, but your children may not have heard them. Let them tell those stories to a new audience of young people.

4. Ask them questions. Almost all older adults have volumes of knowledge, yet they feel no one cares. You ask them how to do something and they will draw out vast amounts of information. It will help you and it will make them feel utilized.

5. Let them have a break. I know grandparents love their grandchildren, but let them take a little nap without comment. Let their ears and bodies rest and they will feel better in the time you get together.

6. Parents need to step out of the way. Leave the grandparents alone with the kids so that they can spoil them. *Warning, only do this in limited amounts or you may experience and adverse reaction 🙂

I remind my kids all the time that they are not the center of the universe. I do not need to jump and do everything they want. They may not want to spend much time with their grandparents, but with a little coaching it can be a wonderful time for everyone!

My wonderful 78-year-old parents arrived at my house in Alaska yesterday after driving for 6 days up the Al-Can. It was great to see them and talk to them face to face after almost a 16 month absence. My boys were super excited to see them. My boys have had the wonderful opportunity to see all of their grandparents this summer. This has me reflecting a little about what it takes to be a great grandparent from a father’s perspective.

1. Bring gifts. Size and cost do not matter. My kids just want to know that their grandparents have been thinking about them.

2. Listen to them. Nothing makes young boys feel more loved than a grandparent taking the time to listen to their stories no matter how trivial.

3. Ask questions about their life. The boys want to share their life even the little things.

4. Watch them do something. No matter what a kid likes to do, he enjoys having a grandparent watch him or her. This can be a sport, a dance, a hobby or any random activity. Your attention is more important than the activity.

5. Join them in the fun (if you can). It creates a wonderful memory when a grandparent does something with their grandchildren.

6. Give them attention. I once had a conversation with a grandparent about his grandsons. He told me that he asked them why they liked grandpa so much. The youngest one spoke up and said “because you have time for us!” [That means, “Put the phone or electronic device down!”]

These are nothing profound or necessarily biblical. They are just my random observations that might help you to become a better grandparent. I know one day I hope to be the best!

It has been a busy week for the Harris family as I am sure it has been for many of you. Here is my rundown of the last few days:
The fourth of July my boys and I mowed a lawn to get them some extra cash. We followed that by walking in the local parade with the Pop Warner football group. It was a long day of work and worry.
Last Friday morning I was called at 4:00 am to collect a road-killed moose. It was a little one but still took a couple hours to process. Which was okay other than the fact that we loaded up at 8:30 am to take my mother-in-law to Anchorage to catch her flight home. Finally the day ended by going to Sports Authority and buying football stuff for my older two boys. Season starts in just a few weeks here in Alaska.
Saturday was spent mostly grocery shopping in Anchorage. I hate it, but with four boys and two of them being teenagers, my grocery bill is enormous. A stop at Costco can cost a whole paycheck:( We got home late Saturday and put everything away in time for bed.
Sunday was Church. I needed to get up early and do some serious review since I had not been in the office for several days. Sunday School went well and then the sermon went well. The overall program had some glitches but it was okay. It was a nice day. Low attendance but that was expected with the holiday. The rest of the day was spent mowing grass, weed-eating and cleaning house. And getting ready for today.
Today my parents will arrive at noon. They have driven up the Al-Can because my dad refuses to fly. We look forward to a couple weeks with them. Tonight will be great as they have not seen the boys in 16 months.
As you can see, I have had little time to relax with everything going on. It has been a pretty good summer so far. The weather has been great and we have had very little downtime.

My two lessons from life lately:

1) Enjoy your family. I like having company, but my family is where I feel the best. I enjoy them and look forward to all of our times together.

2) Sleep in the Winter. That is an expression you here in Alaska a great deal. The idea is simple, the summer is very short and you had better enjoy every minute of it. The reality is, Life is short. Live and enjoy every minute of it – even when it seems crazy busy!

God bless

A video was posted on Youtube in May but I just recently saw it. It is called “It’s not about the nail.” It is funny and cute but it is also insightful into men and women and their communication. Enjoy.

This past Sunday I finished an 8 week sermon series entitled “Six Word Memoirs.” I thought the series went great. Several people willing shared their six word memoir and I listed them in the program yesterday. Here is what the members of Homer Christian Church had to write:

Did my best with no regrets
Tried his best, forgive the rest
Incredibly blessed, powerfully partnered, amazing adventure
Accepted in Christ, opportunity in life
Come on, it will be fun
Ripe old age, satisfied with life
Love life, Love Jesus, Love work
Never Fails, the Lord will provide
One of God’s beloved, blood-bought children
Christ’s love for me for eternity
Be a decent respected Godly man
Bring joy to other people’s lives
I Struggled in Family & God
Lived for joy: Jesus, others, yourself
Grace received is grace to give
Bless the Lord, Oh my soul
Continually learning to live for God
Lots of failures, but always grace
Never should have opened my mouth
I should’ve tried a little harder
Why did I even say that?
Should have listened to my parents

Thanks for everyone who wrote these – including my 4 boys who wrote the last four 🙂

Kenneth was in junior high school and was excited and eager about participating in a day of Special Olympics events. While his parents watched expectantly from the stands, he ran and won the first race. He was proud of his ribbon and the cheers from the crowd.
He ran in the second race. Just at the finish line, when he again would have won, he stopped, then stepped off the track. His parents gently questioned him. “Why did you do that, Kenneth? If you had continued running, you would have won another race.”
Kenneth innocently replied, “But, Mom, I already have a ribbon. Billy didn’t have a ribbon yet.”

– Clifford and Jerie Furness, A 4th Course of Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Today I was working on selecting the opening video for Sunday. I ran across this song by Rend Collective Experiment called Second Chance.

The lyrics:

My future hangs on this
You make preciousness from dust
Please don’t stop creating me

Your blood offers the chance
To rewind to innocence
Reborn, perfect as a child

CHORUS:
Oh Your cross, it changes everything
There my world begins again with You
Oh Your cross, it’s where my hope restarts
A second chance is Heaven’s heart

When sin and ugliness
Collide with redemption’s kiss
Beauty awakens by romance

Always inside this mess
I have found forgiveness
Mercy as infinite as You

(Chorus)

BRIDGE:
Countless second chances
We’ve been given at the cross
Countless second chances
We’ve been given at the cross

Fragments of brokenness
Salvaged by the art of grace
You craft life from our mistakes

Black skies of my regrets
Outshone by this kindness
New life dawns over my soul

Before I moved to Alaska a Christian from here said this to me; “You need to understand that summers in Alaska are fast and furious and winters are long and furious.” I remember that statement every summer. I have now officially been in Alaska since June 14, 2009. That makes this my fifth summer here. And so far, every summer I am amazed at how quickly it goes. In just the last few days I have been clam digging, four-wheeling, metal detecting, doing yard work for myself and others, I have been to a cookout, spent time preparing for Pop Warner football, shopping at a farmer’s marker and a thousand other little things along with my normal weekly work. I can’t remember getting to sleep any night before 11:30 pm – no matter how early I get up.
Another phrase was taught to me my first summer here also; “I’ll sleep in the winter.” No one really means it, but it does capture the idea of using every single day to the fullest. If the weather is nice you had better not stay inside because it won’t last long. Summer is for enjoying every minute of sunshine that we have been given.
All of this has made me think of life in general. Each one of us is given a certain number of days and we had better use them. Only God knows when my days will be over and it might be soon, so I had better enjoy every possibly minute. I had better use it for God and for good. After all, it’s the Alaskan way!

I was listening to a random shuffle on my iPod and a song came up from a few years about by a rock group named Shinedown. The title of the song is “Second Chance.” Here is a portion of the lyrics:

My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I’m leaving out today

I just saw Hayley’s comet
She waved
Said, “Why you always running in place?”
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
Somewhere in the
Stratosphere

[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I’ve done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I’m not angry, I’m just saying…
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

It is a song about a boy leaving home after failure to get a second chance. The reality is, we may not need to leave our location to get a second chance but we may have to leave something behind. We may have to leave our addictions, our anger, our attitude, our fear or something.

The song is right. Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance.

One the biggest issues with my children is getting them to accept blame for their mistakes. Whenever they do something wrong they immediately want to blame it on one of their brothers. Those of you with children will certainly understand what I am saying.
I will look out my window and see one of my boys push another one of my boys. I will go out to find out what is going on and then the excuses begin. He called me a name. He pushed me first. He was making fun of me. And on and on.
Lately, it seems the first step in every argument is to get each person to accept responsibility for their actions.
I find that this is not only true with children, but it is more present and true with adults. We want to blame our spouse, our parents, our boss, our neighbors and everyone else for our actions.
I firmly believe that the first step to getting a second chance is for us to accept responsibility for our actions. To stand up and say, “I have failed.” To admit that we were 100% wrong in this situation.
You see, once I accept responsibility then I can experience forgiveness and be set free from guilt. Once I own up to my actions, I can let other people be set free from my anger and frustration. In accepting blame and responsibility we pave the road to have a second chance. Until then, we are captive to our own lies.
Once, one of my children (who will remain nameless) came into Michelle and I’s bedroom after bedtime. He was weeping bitterly and wanted to talk. He openly admitted a sin that he had committed. He was heartbroken and felt like he had let us down. He did not blame anyone else but simply admitted his guilt.
As a result, Michelle and I hugged him and kissed him and told him to never do it again. He felt better and we felt loved and respected. The situation could not have ended better even in an ugly time.
So today I say to you, go ahead – confess your sins and feel the power of freedom.
Admit it. You did it. And you can be forgiven. Praise God.