Weekend Reading

Here are some of the good articles and posts I read this week. Interestingly enough, several of them are about Pastors. I hope you enjoy them and are encouraged by them.

What to Say When Your Child Tells You “I’m Not Sure I Want to Be a Christian Anymore”

The Internal Battles of Even the Best Pastors

5 Simple Statements Any Small Church Pastor Would Love To Hear

10 Reasons Anger is Often a Problem for Pastors – I have known several angry pastors through the years and found this insightful.

The Uncomfortable Subject Jesus Addressed More than Anyone Else – Short but interesting article about Hell.

“Keep Yourself at 17 Inches” – Great sports analogy

Do the Right Thing

The words hung in the air like the smell of sour milk in the kitchen. She said, “I know what I should do, I just do feel like doing it right now.”

How do you respond to that?

Let me encourage you with one little thought today. Do the right thing no matter how you feel about it.

Do the right thing for your spouse … no matter how you feel about them or yourself.

Do the right thing for your parents … no matter how you feel about them.

Do the right thing for your children … no matter how you feel about them right now.

Do the right thing for your neighbor … no matter how they have upset you.

Do the right thing for that person … no matter how you feel about their decisions.

You may hesitate, and it may not come naturally. Your palms may sweat, and your voice gets shaky. Your stomach may go into all out revolt. It will be okay, I promise.

Smile. Say hello. Ask how they are doing. Hug. Tell them you love them. Hold their hand. Speak kindly. Forgive. Offer grace. Send an email or text and say something nice. Go out of your way to do something helpful. Be friendly. Invest your energy in someone else. Don’t withhold your kindness to other people, especially those closest to you, just because you don’t feel like it now.

Your feelings will change. Tomorrow will look different. You will never regret doing the right thing. You will, however, regret waiting to act until it is too late.

Today is your day. Doing the right thing is within your power.

Two Elements of Discipleship

One of the primary goals of the Church is to produce disciples of Jesus. It is not enough to merely preach the gospel and see people come to faith. The bigger goal is for people to grow in their faith until they are living like Jesus.

Two of the biggest elements of this project are …

1. Bible Teaching. A follower of Jesus sees the Bible as the word of God spoken to them. You read the stories and seek to understand all that it says. As a result, we read, and we study until we know more than just a few children’s stories.

2. Practical Application. What does this mean to our lives today? What does the message of the Bible look like if it were lived out today? How do we do what the Bible is teaching us? These are all very practical questions that can have various answers. For example, the Bible teaches that husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her. I believe this is a fundamental teaching about marriage. But the practical application can range from a weekly date night to taking out the garbage and doing the dishes.

It is important for each one of us to understand these two different principles.

First, you need to understand the information you are receiving clearly. A Bible study might be a group that studies the message of the Bible with very little application. This blog is very practical with little Bible teaching. A sermon might be a combination of both Bible and implementation.

Second, much of what is considered practical application can adjust for each person. What works in your marriage might not work in mine and vice versa. Sometimes you might need to try several possibilities before landing on the best plan for you.

Third, Bible teaching is timeless, but the application is ever-changing. Applying a passage today might look very different from what it did 100 years ago because of the internet. We as believers and as a Church need to continually be evaluating our practices to make sure we continue growing over a lifetime.

If we teach the Bible without application, we might only produce mentally strong Christians. If we try to live for Jesus without knowledge of the Bible, we can easily slip into pop psychology instead of eternal truth. When we combine both, we prepare the way for years of growth in Christ.

Wanting Attention from the Church

I am not a clinical psychologist, but I am still convinced that everyone is born with a desire for attention. We want people to connect with us so that we can feel important and have a sense of belonging. We want people to notice and care about us.

The best way to receive this attention is in a positive manner. Be the best you can be at something and people will notice you. This can range from singing to art to athletics to even being smart.

If we are not getting the attention we desire in a positive way, then we resort to negative attention. People will do some destructive behavior in an effort to get people to notice them. This can range from a child throwing a tantrum to a teenager who gets into trouble at school.

What happens when these children who grow up seeking attention in a negative way become adults? More importantly for me, what happens when these adults come to Church?

Here are some of the ways I have noticed people seeking attention from the Church –

1. Something is Always Wrong.
They are always complaining about something. The music is too loud, or the preacher is too quiet. The seats are too soft or too hard. They just never seem to be happy. When you see them coming toward you, you brace yourself for their next complaint. They feed off the attention they receive from everyone trying to make them happy.

2. There is Always Drama.
This person is the king or queen of prayer request time. They are always hurting or sick or struggling to make it somehow. If it is not them, then it is someone in their family or close circle of friends. They are driven to get attention from people asking how they are doing. They always have a difficult tale that generates sympathy.

3. Things Must Be Done Their Way.
They come to Church and want to be in charge. They are usually convinced they have the gift of leadership. They want everyone to listen to them as the voice of wisdom. They strive to get the attention of the weakest members of the group because it makes them feel important. Often their influence also comes from a position of power or financial success.

4. Everything Cries for Attention.
Through the years, I have been interested in who raises their hand during worship. I notice who wants to be on stage or up front all the time. I see who always wants to be the greeter every week. No matter what the situation they seem to be able to turn the spotlight toward themselves. They feed on being seen by people in a positive way.

Have you seen these people in Church? They have been present in every setting in which I have ever pastored. As a fellow believer, I try to show them love and concern without going overboard. Quite often these people use up all their attention-grabbing tricks and then move on to another congregation. They especially love smaller churches where they can get attention in large quantity from a small group.

So the next time you encounter something at Church, ask yourself, “Is this person merely trying to get attention?” All of us have our flaws, believe me, ALL of us do. This is just another one of them that I hear very few people talk about. I want to be a part of a group of individuals where positive attention is given for the building up of all believers.

Please Don’t Destroy What Has Taken Me So Long to Plant

The Bible describes the process of sharing our faith as a farming metaphor. The word of God is a seed. We do the work of planting the seed until there is a harvest. It is a simple image that those of us in the Midwest can easily understand as we live in the middle of farm country.

This word picture as used in the Bible does give us the primary activities of planting and watering as part of sharing Jesus. But knowing a little bit about farming and even more about sharing my faith I have seen that there are far more actions required to have a successful harvest. In fact, there is a lot of hard work that goes into farming long before the seed is ever planted.

First, the land must be cleared of any obstructions. Trees may need to be removed and grass cut. Then the ground needs to be prepared. The soil must be properly “worked” before it can be planted. This might even include some form of fertilizer to help make the ground the receptive to the seed. Turning a plot of land into a field requires hours of labor to make it productive.

I often view my work in ministry like that of a farmer. I spend numerous hours trying to clear away obstructions that people have built up against faith. I work the ground of people’s heart to soften them up to the message of Jesus. I add in moments that will help to make them open to the work of the Lord in their lives. Honestly, sometimes it takes 3-5 years or more before I am ever able to talk to some people about Jesus.

I work hard to be a good farmer of the gospel. The problem I have is when someone comes along and tries to plant the seed of faith before the soil is ready. Suddenly I find myself trying to keep a small seedling alive in the middle of a pile of brush or the hard, unfertilized soil of their life.

Here are a couple of things that destroy the work I am trying to do as a Christian farmer.

1. Don’t Turn Every Speaking Opportunity Into a Sermon
I know as Christians we applaud the sports star who takes the microphone after a big game and proclaims his faith in Jesus. But you need to understand that their “star” status has given them a unique platform. Some people, inspired by what they see on TV, take anytime they are asked to talk as an opportunity to launch into a sermon. I have found this repels most people from faith rather than attract them. Sometimes the best thing you can do is what you are assigned to do. If you are asked to welcome people to an event, then welcome them. If you are asked to speak about your time in the military, then tell them about your struggles during those times. You do not have to turn every speaking opportunity into a sermon to have a positive effect as a Christian.

2. Don’t Make Everything About Jesus
I once knew a guy who made a commitment to talk about Jesus to everyone he encountered in his life. At first it sounded noble, but eventually, it just became annoying. Some people simply want to talk about themselves and their interests before they will listen to you. The one big tip I can give anyone who wants to share their faith is simple, “Ask questions and listen to answers.” I believe that as a Christian it is okay to talk about racing, football, fishing, movies and just about anything without ever mentioning Jesus. Frequently these conversations will one day break the ground of the hard soil of someone’s heart.

3. Don’t Argue About Bible Passages With a Stranger.
Numerous times people have found out that I was a preacher and they wanted to argue with me about something in the Bible or faith. Quite often these people are searching for answers but me arguing with them will not bring the desired result. In those situations, the first thing I ask is for people to share their story with me. This is vital. Why are you asking these things? The second thing I do is ask if we can set down and have a full discussion later. Honestly, I have never found that arguing or having a heated discussion has ever done much good in the long run.

I could spend a lot of space telling you every struggle I have had, but these are the biggest ones I am dealing with lately. I know that as believers we want to share the gospel and we want to do it now. Sometimes now is not the right time. There is work to be done making the soil ready. I once heard a man say it takes 8-10 positive Christian contacts in a row before a person is open to the message of Jesus. You and I might not be number 10 who sees the conversion, but we might be number 6 who keeps the Lord’s work moving along. My plea is that you are also not the negative experience that sends the work back to 1. Let’s all use our heads and work together for the good of the kingdom.

The “God Factor” for a Believer

As a pastor, I am always trying to communicate the truth of the gospel in some way. I teach and preach. I write and post. I talk to people in small groups and individually. Simply put, I try to explain the life of a believer in every way that I able.

I work to make everything I say the clear, engaging and understandable. I do think God is present while I work, but I work as if the world depended on me. That is all that I can do.

Then God steps in and takes what I do and connects it to where it is needed.

I can’t completely explain why you came to Church that Sunday. I can’t entirely explain why the sermon was on that topic. I can’t completely explain why the songs on the radio, the conversation you had with a friend or simply the way you are feeling all align with what I taught that time. The only explanation I have is that I serve in a place where God consistently shows up and puts everything together.

I do not believe this is limited to preachers and pastors. This is a reality for everyone who believes. As you go out into the world living for Jesus and sharing his message with the people, you know God will show up and put people in your path who need you and your message.

I think if you open yourself up to God he will speak to you. If you allow God to use your life, you will speak through you. I firmly believe God is at work in ways we cannot even imagine. You just never know what God is going to do with you and through you today.

Weekend Reading

Here are some of the best articles I read this week. I hope you enjoy them and have a great weekend.

STOP BEING ON FIRE FOR JESUS – Interesting article about something I hear quite often.

Ten Questions Christians Should Ask of Their Entertainment – Thinking through your entertainment choices.

Tim Keller: 3 Questions Fake Christians Can’t Answer – Penetrating questions to think through and evaluate your faith.

5 Things to Never Say to Your Adult Children – Great thoughts as two of my children now shift into adulthood.

Let’s All Take a Lesson From These Two Exhausted College Students – Great picture. Worth a quick look.

In defense of the tree emoji – simple thought from Seth Godin.

Thinking About My Mother

This weekend is not only Mother’s Day, but today is my mom’s birthday. I hope she has a wonderful day and weekend.

She will never know the total impact she has had on my life and my faith. She nurtured in me a caring heart for other people.

I read this story years ago, and every time I think of my mom this story comes to mind. I hope it makes you think of your mother too.

A teacher was teaching her math class about fractions.

She asked little Johnny a question. “Suppose your mother baked a pie and there were seven people for dinner that night. There were your parents, the three children, and two guests. What part of the pie would you get?”

“A sixth,” replied the boy.

“I’m afraid you don’t know your fractions,” said the teacher. “Remember, there are seven of you.”

“Yes, teacher,” Johnny said, “but you don’t know my mother. Mother would say she didn’t want any pie just so everyone else could have a bigger piece.”

Happy Mother’s Day to all, especially my mom.

Reading Between the Lines in Communication

There are two sides of communication. There is what is said and what is meant. Have you ever had someone quote you almost verbatim and then you said, “That’s not how I meant it.”

I think this is one of the things that makes communication so hard. This is true for marriages, parents, friendships and every other important connection we have in life. It is even true for Christians.

Not only is it easy to read into people’s words, but we also should consider their tone of voice, body language, the context of the discussion along with their personal situation at that moment.

Communication is hard, and it is easy for us to approach life in a very negative way. I know I find myself thinking evil about people of which I have barely had a conversation. I know I can read a post on social media and get frustrated by a sentence without ever talking to that person.

Here are some thoughts that I am trying to use to help me in my thinking.

1. Think the Best of Others.
Try to see the world from a positive standpoint. Instead of jumping to negative conclusions, why not jump to positive ones. I am sure when they said that they were trying to offer a compliment. I am sure you meant those words as a blessing and I will hear them that way.

2. Be Careful with Ascribing Intent.
It is easy for me to think you said that to try and hurt me. You did that on purpose. You are trying to be mean. You probably set up at night and plan ways to make my life miserable. Most likely, none of those things are true. The reality is that this person probably has not thought about you at all, it was just a misspoken word. Try not to read more into a situation than it deserves.

3. Don’t assume meanings, especially negative ones.
Let me say a sentence, and you tell me what it means. “Did you see that new shirt?” Does that mean the person cannot believe you bought another new shirt? The emphasis on the word new in a negative sense. Does that mean the person cannot imagine that anyone would buy a shirt that ugly? The emphasis is on the word see in a negative sense. Does the person mean that they cannot believe you are wearing that as a shirt? The emphasis is on the word shirt, meaning it is too long or way too short even to be considered a shirt. Does the person simply mean that they think it is a nice-looking shirt? Three of the four conclusions we can draw from one six-word sentence are negative. See how easy it is to assign negative meanings? Be on your guard against this type of thinking.

4. When in Doubt, Just Ask.
I know this is a novel concept, but if you find yourself thinking negatively of another person why don’t you just go talk to them. Ask them to explain their words and what they meant. When we find ourselves going negative on people, then we are required to confront them directly in a loving manner. Believers see this as a command of their faith to deal with people face to face.

Personally, I know I struggle with my negative thoughts about people. In over 24 years of ministry, I have become jaded toward people. I am committing myself to guarding my heart in both what is going in, but also what is coming out. Staying positive is hard, but it really is the best for everyone.