I have dedicated my life to helping other people. I assist them in understanding the Bible. I help them to think about God. I help married couples and parents who are struggling. I help people rebuild after failure and plan for a better future.

As I try to help people through the years, I have learned there are several different reactions –

1. Try to help someone, and you can be ignored.
Since my advice is free, many people listen but do nothing with it. Usually, there is a moment down the road where I want to say, “I told you so,” but I don’t. You can have perfect advice for a given situation, and some people will never do a thing you suggested.

2. Try to help someone, and you can be selectively heard.
More than once I have talked to someone after a counseling session, and they have said they did that thing I suggested. After a few minutes, I realize they only heard part of my suggestion. For example, I have told people to set aside 40 days to pray, seek counsel, read their Bible and then make a decision. The people will mark their calendar for a 40-day mark and then not do any of the necessary daily work to see their decision more clearly.

3. Try to help someone, and you can be misunderstood.
I have heard things like, “So you think you are a better parent than I am?” For a long time, I heard, “You will understand this better when you are older.” Many times, my words of advice have fallen on deaf ears because people read into my words. They thought my words were an attack on their life instead of a helping hand.

4. Try to help someone, and you can be abused.
Some people take your help, and then they will take advantage of you. They will want all your time and attention. They will call at inappropriate times. They will soon feel more like a stalker than a friend. Picture the movie “What About Bob?” if you have ever seen that.

5. Try to help someone, and you can be the help they need.
Occasionally my thoughts and time are well spent. You talk to someone, and the words penetrate their heart and soul. You will speak the power of life and hope into their situation, and they will never be the same. Their marriage will be healed. Their family will connect. Their soul will be refreshed to move forward. Grace will invade the situation, and God will do a mighty work.

The last one is the reason I keep offering counseling and conversation. One out of every five people I try to help will be a success story. Most of my attempts to help people are miserable failures. It is easy to want to give up. Then something happens that I didn’t expect and good things are produced.

I know some of you are trying to help your family and your friends. It is easy to get discouraged and give up, but let me challenge you today. You might be the voice they need to hear. Today may be the success story you have been praying God would bring.

The next few days bring an end to my second son’s high school career. Tomorrow is his last day of school, an awards banquet, a senior dinner, and a baccalaureate service. Thursday, we have a reception for him at my Church and then on Friday is the commencement ceremony. Three more days and it is all over.

I have been thinking about all the things I want to say not only to my son but to all of those who graduate this year.

1. Please Don’t Abandon Your Roots – We raised you to the best of our ability, and we tried to give you strong roots in our faith. There will be a huge opportunity for you to quit the faith during your college years. Temptations will abound, and there will be no one to keep you pointed the right direction. I taught you to live a life of faith because I believe it is the best possible way to live. It will give you everything you need for life, and I beg you to continue to walk in the ways of the Lord.

2. Your Family is Always Here for You – This is true in our home, and I hope it is true for you. We may not be perfect, but we love you and always have a place for you. Visit frequently, call or text and stay connected. As you leave the house this year a part of our heart goes with you. Our relationship will never be the same, but that does not have to mean it will be any less caring. In fact, I think our relationship can be stronger into the future.

3. Connect to a Church – It will be extremely hard to get up for Church the next few years. I went to Bible college, and I still struggled with it. Still, try and find a way to connect. Go to a Saturday evening worship program, maybe a weekday service or even find the latest one on Sunday morning. Attend a Church and learn from the people there. Try to bless them while you are able and one day they will bless you in unexpected ways. The life of faith is meant to be lived in the community, even in college.

4. God Loves You More than Anyone – On life’s journey, you are going to make some enormous mistakes. You will fail large and loud. Everyone will know what you have done, and you will feel overwhelming guilt and shame. Don’t think for a minute that God does not love you. He offers his grace to sinners everywhere, and he will be there when you need him. I can’t explain it completely but one day grace will be all you have, and it will be all you need.

5. Live Fearless – God has a plan for your life. Take adventures. Travel the world. Meet new people. Talk to that girl. Cross the street and offer a helping hand. Connect to people even though some will hurt you. Smile to everyone. Move. Start over. The only limit in your life will be you. God will open doors all around you, and you can run through them or sit quietly and let them close. Live boldly and allow God to do an amazing thing in you and through you.

For me, this will be another emotional week in a long line of dramatic life events. I know it will be a new experience for each senior too. Stay strong and be courageous. Enjoy the moments like this that life gives and thank God for every beautiful moment. A tried to teach you well and go and make me, and all of us, proud.

Do you want to grow spiritually to be more like Christ? Do you want to know your Bible better? Do you want to read more Christian literature? Do you want to be a better disciple?

That seems like a minor question, but it is actually the key to all growth.

The one key piece of all growth is desire.

Do you want it? Do you really want it? Do you seriously want this to happen in your life? Are you willing to work hard to make it happen? Do you truly have a sincere desire to grow?

I am sure you have heard the expression, “Where there is a will, there is a way.” That one statement speaks truth to the most important aspect of all improvement. Do you have the will to do what is required to grow?

Quite often we spend time in the Church trying to give you the right tools to grow. We create opportunities and events where you can grow. We put together programs and practices to help you improve your walk with Christ. We push people toward conferences and seminars in an effort to make them better disciples.

The truth is much simpler. If you desire real and lasting change, nothing will stop it from happening. You will find the tools. You will come up with a plan. You will find the time.

The problem with most people is not a lack of information. The problem is a lack of desire.

What do you want to do this week? What do you really want to do?

Here is a thought for your Sunday afternoon. I hope you have a great weekend and a blessed week.

Here is some of the best stuff from my week. Enjoy.

7 Things Forgiveness IS

7 Things Forgiveness IS NOT

4 Lies Women in Your Congregation May Believe

The First 25 Years Are the Hardest – Short little article with a big nugget of wisdom

I have a big desk calendar that I have nailed to my wall. I know we live in a digital world and most people keep their schedule on their phone or tablet. I still keep a big old desk version of each month so that I can see it at a quick glance.

Today is May 5th, and I have on my calendar written two words and drawing of a sad face. In today’s box is written “Dad’s Birthday.”

Today was supposed to be his 82nd birthday. Some time later I looked at the date, and I just drew a sad face. I really don’t know what else to do.

Today I should have called him and talked for a while about fishing and my boys and how he stopped having birthdays at 39 years old. Occasionally I could get him to confess to being 49, but it never went further than that.

Instead, I find myself still trying to say goodbye.

It has been four months, and it hurts as bad today as it did the first day.

With each passing day and month, I am trying to be thankful for two things.

First, I am glad God allowed him to be my dad. I was blessed with two wonderful parents whom I love deeply. I am thankful to have had such a great father. I am, and I was, truly blessed.

Second, I am thankful for the hope of heaven. I do not know how anyone makes it through the loss of a loved one who is not a believer. I rest in my faith. While the hurt remains, I find in it the hope of Jesus as our Savior. Dad understood his faith, and I know he is in Paradise with Christ.

Today is hard. You may know what I am going through and I feel sorry for you too. The loss is hard. Some days I hate Adam and Eve and their stupid mistake. Then I am thankful for Jesus and amazing faithfulness. Combined I find hope in the darkness. There is a light in the valley of the shadow of death.

Some days I feel like a crazy person. I feel like the things that I am thinking are odd and unique to me alone. Surely, no one has felt the way, or I feel of thought the way I am thinking?

Have you ever felt that way? Felt alone on a sea of odd thoughts and strange feelings?

When that happens, I have found that two phrases can help me more than any others.

1. I have thought or felt that way too. I find a sense of peace in knowing that other people don’t have everything figured out. I remember hearing an old preacher mention his struggle with lust over his whole ministry. He told of how he thought like an average guy while trying to live a Godly life. At that moment, I no longer felt alone. Someone knew me. I didn’t feel crazy or like a failure. I felt like a normal human struggling with the sin we find in this world.

2. I have never thought of felt that, but … You can end this sentence in a variety of positive ways. I have never felt that way, but I can see that you are struggling. I have never thought that way, but I can see how you could reach that conclusion. I do not know what you are going through, but I am here if you need to talk it through.

There is a line in the movie version of “Shadowlands,” a story about C.S. Lewis, in which a character says, “We read to know we are not alone.” I often think of that quote as people are talking to me. We share our thoughts and feelings to know we are not alone.

There is this temptation in every one of us to try to fix people’s perceived problems. We want to teach them so that they think like I do. We want to make a difference in the lives of people we know and love and quite often that translates into lectures about how to think and feel. What if we make the biggest difference when we try to identify with their struggles instead of trying to correct them immediately?

Then again, maybe I am the only person who thinks this way.

Over time I am slowly dropping the phrase “a relationship with Jesus” from my religious dialog.

I used to use it all the time. The analogy of the Christian faith went something like this: Faith in Jesus is not a religion but a relationship. The idea was that as a follower of Jesus you did not have a bunch of meaningless religious practices to participate in, rather a savior to connect to personally. I have said something about a “relationship with Jesus” more times that I care to recall.

Lately, I have been using the concept of a journey instead. I like to speak of all of us being on a journey with God. Either we are far away from him, and he is waiting for us to join him, or we are near, and we are walking side by side. I have slowly replaced saying we need to have a relationship with Jesus to we need to walk with Jesus on our journey with God.

Here is why I am changing my words and image.

1. Most People Do Very Little in Relationships. If you were to ask most men what they are doing to build their relationship with their wife you will be greeted with blank stares and confused looks. What do you mean build a relationship? We work and take care of things, and if the other person is mad, then we try to make them happy again. Usually, the only individuals who talk about working on their relationship are having a difficult time. When I view my life with God as a relationship, it can easily mean that I spend most of my time doing nothing to grow. That is until there is some crisis in my life.

2. A Journey Is a Daily Project. If you are on a trip then every day you must pack up your stuff and get moving. You have places to go and things to see. A journey requires you to keep moving one step at a time day after day in the right direction. Faith is active. Every day you are expected to go forward in knowledge, in service, and in hope. There is an expectation that today we may see and do things that we have never experienced before.

3. A Relationship Can Be Viewed Very Selfishly. What’s in it for me? When will my dinner be ready? Have you cleaned my house? Have you taken care of me? If you don’t, then I am out the door. I have encountered people whose marriage is all about what they can get out of it. I have also viewed Christian people who have the same concept of faith. What has God done for me? If he doesn’t make me happy, then I am out of here.

4. A Journey Has a Destination. When someone heads out on a journey, they hope to end up somewhere better and more exciting that where they are now. The reason we endure airports, long delays, uncomfortable seats and high prices are because of where that plane takes us. The reason we sit for hours in a vehicle with whining kids while eating fast food is that when we arrive at the beach, it will be priceless. The reason Christians live with sacrifice and service are because one day we hope to arrive at our own little slice of heaven.

I know there is a lot more I could say about these two images. The contrasts can be kind of interesting.

Maybe I am making a big deal about a small thing, but I feel the analogies we use are important. I do not want anyone to get the wrong idea of what it means to follow Jesus. Yes, Christianity is about a relationship with God through Jesus, but that relationship is not about setting up a house in the suburbs and living the American dream. That relationship is about locking arms with Jesus on the journey of a lifetime that will take us places we never dreamed until the day we reach our new home.

I was waiting for my boys to come out of the locker room after the game. They were taking their time, and everyone else was quickly clearing out, so I soon found myself almost alone. A little bored I began to look in the trophy case.

In the case, I found there were trophies of all sizes. Large trophies from placing high in State competition to small ones for local tourneys. I also noticed that these rewards were given for all kinds of activities. They ranged from clubs to sports to academics. The dates for these prizes ranged from recent dates clear back to the 1950’s. It was an eclectic collection of wood and metal for achievements from student’s high school careers.

I noticed three things about the trophy case and the contents it held.

First – of the making of awards there is no end. Honestly, I thought the best part of this collection is that it keeps some people employed somewhere. Every year there are more trophies to make for the next group of teens who come along. As long as there are students, there will be prizes to be handed out.

Second – No one besides me cared at that moment. I am sure those trophies were once held high as great achievements from hard work and dedication. I am sure there were individuals who had spent hours practicing and preparing to receive their prize. They represented teams that practiced and practiced until they hurt from their commitment. Now, as people stood in that hallway waiting no one even looked beside me. With no personal connection and experience, these splendid little creations were just metal and wood.

Third – The dust on each was thick. I am not mad at some janitor for their lack of work to keep the case clean. I sure it is a huge job. That was not my thought process. I was focused on how these prizes were once considered invaluable. There was a moment when a person or a group of people accomplished something they thought would hold an enormous impact on their life. Now there were old possessions that no one cared to tend to anymore.

My final thoughts were very clear, “How much sacrifice did these trophies represent?” There were families that gave up money and time to make put these trophies in the case. There were people who missed families events, skipped Church and lost sleep to obtain these rewards. There were individuals who gave selflessly in every way so that each trophy could be in that case. The final result was that no one cared anymore.

The words of the Apostle Paul clearly came to my mind as I stood there that night. 1 Corinthians 9:25 “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.”

Following Jesus requires the same hard work and dedication it took to get those trophies. We do it to obtain a crown that will not collect dust but the crown of eternal life.

When you decide what you are going to give your time, money and talent to, I ask that you would stand in front of a trophy case and ask, “Is it really worth it?”

Every complex machine is composed of a number of little nuts and bolts that hold it all together. Ministry in the Church is very much the same way. Worship on Sunday, Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, Christmas, and Easter are all significant parts of the overall Christian machine, but those are all held together by a series of smaller items.

1. Church Communications – Every week is an attempt to communicate the events and activities in the life of a Church. Here at ACC, we use the printed program each week. I encourage everyone to read it thoroughly, especially the announcements as we are continually adding new ones and updating old ones. We also have an email newsletter that goes out the first week of the month. The third option for us is our website. I personally help update the site each week with the most up-to-date info. Next is Facebook. If you follow the Adrian Christian Church page, then you will receive notice of our posting on there also. Finally, is an announcement at the beginning of the program. I limit those items I share each week to just one. Each week I try using one, two or even all of these forms of communication to keep everyone informed of activities in the life of the Church. It is everyone’s responsibility to read what we write and listen to what is said.

2. The Connection Card – Every week we have a “Connection Card” either attached or inserted into the program. This is a great way for you to communicate with the Church. There is a spot for your name and mailing info. New guests will receive a card thanking them for a visit. Longtime members can use the space to update me on changes in address, phones number or email. There is also a spot on the card for prayer requests. These are emailed to our prayer team on Monday and placed in the program on the next Sunday. Third, there are a series of places you can mark if you would like more information. A connection card is a simple place for you to keep connected with the office and the minister, just drop the card in the offering plate, and it will end up on my desk.

3. Personal Contact – There are two great ways to talk to me personally. First is immediately after the worship program. I always remain at the front of the auditorium for 5-10 minutes after worship so you can catch me there. There I can talk, pray or just plan a meeting for later. The second way to reach me is at the Church office. I am here Monday through Thursday from 8:00 till at least 3:00 unless there is an emergency. You can call the office and schedule an appointment, or you can just drop by anytime. Each week I have 1-3 meetings so sometimes it is best to schedule a time with a quick phone call. I am always willing to talk and help each of you out.

I know these seem like such tiny parts to the Church, but each one is vital. We can have a fantastic event planned, but if you no one knows about it then we will have a failure. You may be going through a big life event, but if you do not tell anyone, then I may never know so that I can pray and help. The success or failure of any part of Church is connected to these simple nuts and bolts that hold it all together. They may seem insignificant, but trust me, without them it all falls apart.