The Replay Button in My Mind

It had been a pretty good day … or so I thought. Then night came and I fell asleep quickly and deeply. Finally I woke up at 3:00 am to go to the bathroom. Upon returning to bed I discovered that I could not fall back asleep as I had hoped. Instead of sleeping I lie awake replaying the day before. Suddenly I saw all these problems that I hadn’t even noticed upon first experience.

I thought; “What did he mean when he said that?” “Did they take that the wrong way when I said that?” “I hope they were not offended when I didn’t say anything.” And on and on my thoughts went.

A perfectly good day was ruined by the replay button in my mind. And here is the interesting part, nothing that I thought while replaying my day was overly positive. I did not think about how well I had performed but rather about the possible mistakes I made.

I have come to believe that one of the biggest acts of grace is to break the replay button in my mind. In faith there is a place for guilt and regret, but there is no place to wallow in it. I constantly struggle to experience life as it happened and not over-analyze everything to the point of despair. I believe that one of the ways we experience a second chance in life is by not replaying the failures of the first chance.

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