You are making an impression on someone.

This statement is true and must regularly be considered, especially in the life of a believer in Jesus. There is no truth in the idea that you “might” make an impact on other people. You are doing it. The real question is simple, “What kind of an example are you leaving for those who watch your life?”

That question only has two answers. You are a good example or a bad one. That’s it; there are no other options.

You may have forgotten this truth in your life, and it is good to receive an occasional reminder.

Here is another truth I want you to consider today. The people who watch your life, whether it be your children, grandchildren or a neighbor child, will evaluate your example against your words.

The standard they use to judge your life will not be your good intentions. They will use your words and lay them alongside your actions to get an accurate picture of what you really believe.

They will judge your faith. Do you say you believe in God and yet deny him with your life?

They will judge your relationships. Do you tell people you love them and then ignore their needs? Do you elevate other people above yourself?

They will judge your service. Do they see you giving of yourself to other people or are you selfish?

There is a long list of behaviors that will be weighed and considered with the words that you say.

Every person tends to judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions. You need to be clear that people are not considering what you intended to do, they are only looking at your words and actions.

With that in mind, what kind of example are you really leaving?

Some people are following your example whether you like it or not. Will the world be a better place because of what you leave behind?

I have been thinking a great deal lately about Christian films. Last week’s sermon had some illustrations drawn from these movies. When I say Christian movies, I mean movies that were made primarily by Christians for Christians. Many of these are made with a low-budget and use no big-name actors.

I will be the first to admit that there are numerous terrible ones out there, but there are some that I come back to again and again.

These are my favorites.

1. The Passion of the Christ. There is a lot not to like about this movie. It uses a poetic license to add in extra drama and gore. With that said, has there been a more moving portrayal of the crucifixion of Jesus?

2. Fireproof. The honest look at a man and his wife is filled with joy and pain. Sure, parts of the movie are stretched to fit the theme, but it does not detract too much. It is a movie I return to occasionally to remind myself of the commitment to marriage.

3. Luther. This movie with Joseph Fiennes inspires me. It is a look at the reformer through semi-historical eyes. Maybe it is because I am a preacher, but I love this movie.

4. Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. This is a classic story with profoundly biblical imagery. My boys were young when it came out, and we watched it repeatedly. It always holds a special place in my heart.

5. The Case for Christ. My wife and I just watched this movie. It is the story of Lee Strobel and his journey to faith. I love the honest and raw emotion of a man who rejects religion but can’t seem to shake it. I will definitely be watching it again.

Honorable Mention. The rest of the movies in the Chronicles of Narnia series. Soul Surfer. Chariots of Fire is inspiring. The Mission is not a traditional Christian movie, but I enjoy the story. Finally, Leap of Faith with Steve Martin challenges me on several levels.

These are my favorites. I have obviously not seen all the Christian movies that have been made through the years. What are your favorites and why? I would love for you to share your thoughts in the comments. If you don’t have one that you like, maybe you could try one of these this Christmas season.

I wanted to write a blog post about the one or two dramatic events that shaped my life. Something about that one time that particular person did that marvelous thing that molded my character as nothing else has in my life.

After several minutes of thinking, I really couldn’t name any moment where some grand gesture changed me. Instead, I thought of dozens of little events that continued to steer me the right direction.

1. There are the people who taught me. Through the years, numerous people have taught me about the Christian life and the Bible. My dad and mom, Virginia Vannice, Ted Scott, Dan Booth, Jon Sullivan, Mark Scott, JK Jones, George Faull and Fred Craddock. This is just a partial list. My life was shaped by more teachers than I can remember. Sometimes these were extended classes, but some people taught me in a casual setting in conversations. One way or another, their words changed me.

2. There are the people who sacrificed for me. Obviously, my parents are at the top of the list, but there are others. Another college student who gave me money so that I could go home one time. The people who donated funds for my mission trip to England. Those loving Christians who supported my new Church work when I moved to Iowa. The people who give to the Church I serve now that enables me to continue serving the Lord. My life has been directed by people willing to give of themselves and their resources.

3. There are the people who showed me grace. I am honest about how much I mess things up. I don’t often speak of the people who loved me through my failures. Some people saw the good in me when I made a royal mistake as a teenager. Other people stood by me when I was struggling in college. Still, other people did not turn their back on me when I failed in ministry. These people have kept praying for me and pushing me the right direction even when they could have given up.

4. There are the people who encouraged me. I have a box of notes and a file of emails from people who encouraged me through the years. Those people will never know how their words pulled me back from the edge and made me feel joy again. I read and reread their letters still many years later, and they remind me of the support I have in my life. These words given to in love have shaped my view of Christians and the Church in a profound way.

My life has had few big moments. Instead, it is the culmination of hundreds of small interactions. There is this tendency for people to think we should wait until just the right time to try and make an impact. Yes, there may be times that are better than others, but you will never know the amount of good you could do at any given opportunity.

God has given you today to touch someone’s life. I believe you do not have to do something grandiose to make a difference. Your impact could come from an email, a word, a visit, a prayer, a gift or any one of hundreds of small gestures of grace and love. Today your life may help steer the life of another person for good, so why not do something today?

I am not a perfect anything. I am not an ideal man. I am a struggling husband. I am a flawed parent. I am an average pastor. I am a frequent failure as a Christian.

I have no problem openly admitting this to anyone.

This blog was built on the idea that everyone fails. But grace also provides us with a second chance in Jesus.

Spending an hour on social media reminds me that few people see the world this way. There seems to be endless self-promotion going on wherever you look. Sometimes it is personal with a “Look how beautiful I am” picture. Sometimes it is relational with a “Look what I did for my family.” Other times it is more backhanded and subtle with “I have the best spouse” statements to let the world know how good we are for noticing. Finally, some are just blatant posts about “How proud I am of my child’s achievements” to remind us of your impressive parenting skills. It seems we want the world to know we have no flaws or struggles.

Honestly, I believe some people have started living their lives solely for the approval of others. They do everything for the praise or applause of the people in their circle of influence. Everything is a chance for a great photo that I can post to show the world my excellence as a person.

Reading the Bible paints a different picture for me. It states that we are all sinners. We are flawed, and everyone has cross boundaries we should not have crossed. We are like sheep who have gone astray and are now lost with no idea how to get home. Our best attempts at trying to be a righteous person are like filthy rags in God’s sight. We are not okay.

On here, I try to be completely honest about my struggles as a man, husband, father, and preacher. It frequently leaves people worried about me. “Are you okay?” seems to be a common question. Email, texts and comments about how great I am as a pastor appear every week. I sincerely appreciate them, but they often feel like people are trying to encourage the depressed kid so that he doesn’t go crazy one day.

Don’t worry about me. I just find no value in positive self-promotion. There is too much of that going on in the world, and it is leaving a whole segment of people confused and feeling alone. I want them to know they are not alone. We all struggle, but people have been taught to cover their feelings of insecurity with a happy face and pretty pictures.

I find my self-worth based on three pieces of Biblical information. First, I am created in the image of God. Second, God saved me in Jesus. Third, God has a plan for my life, if I am willing to let him use me. These truths are foundational and unchanging.

Today will be another day full of missed opportunities, failed attempts and disobedience. I am okay with telling you this because God will still be with me even in my imperfect world. I also want you to know he is with you too.

While praying one day, I paused for a moment to realize that I tend to repeat myself every day. These are not the prayers I pray for other people and their needs; these are entirely focused on me. Here are the topics I address when I pray for myself.

1. Forgive Me. There seems to be at least one event each day that embarrasses me as a Christian. It can range from something I said to something I thought to something I saw. It may have been public, or it may have been very private. No matter what the situation I find that each day needs a prayer of forgiveness for the actions of the previous day. I am not proud of that fact, but it needs to be said. Each day I throw myself on God’s mercy through his son Jesus and his work on the cross.

2. Change Me. The Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6 says in English, “Lead us not into temptation.” It has been written that a better translation might be, “Lead us away from temptation.” This seems to be the essence of this prayer for me. God, please lead me away from my old behaviors and into a new path. Change my steps by changing my heart. I am thankful for how far I have come on this journey with God, but I still have so far to go.

3. Use Me. I am full of unrealized potential. I know God can use me in spite of my failures. I know God can do great things through me if I am available. I know I can do more for God if I were put in the right situation. Each day I want to declare my trust in his work through me. I want to demonstrate my willingness to follow God’s leading this day. I want God to use me in some way with my family, my Church and my community.

Through the years I have sought to become better at prayer. Still, I return to these three thoughts about myself. Maybe I should pray these things for you too? Possibly, you could pray them for yourself? Perhaps the best option would be if we could pray for these things for each other today and always.

Every week I prepare and plan in an effort to present the best sermon possible. I pray, read, study and search the internet. Hours are spent putting together every single talk.

Each week I hope and pray this will be the one. This will be the sermon that does it. It will inspire people to change. It will move people from their complacency to commitment. God will speak through me in a clear and convincing way and the people who hear it will be changed in a deeply profound way.

Every week I am let down. Each sermon lacks the punch I hope it will have to knock people out. It is like a boxer who delivers his best right hook, and the opponent seems unfazed. Usually, the response is lackluster at best. A few people say nice things and most just talk about the weather or other trivialities. Sundays end in exhaustion, and I go home hoping that next week will be better.

While I still do my best every Sunday, I am learning that change is not an overnight event. There are very few cases of dramatic change because of one sermon or lecture of any kind.

1. Becoming Fully Devoted to Jesus is a Long Slow Process. I wish there were some way to microwave a person into a committed believer. You know, send them to a conference or on a mission trip or to a week of camp, and they come back a new person. Frequently people do those things and the come back all excited for a few weeks or months. Slowly the newness wears off, and the person returns to their old habits. Real change comes from a day after day commitment to doing the right things. Prayer, Bible reading, and fellowship are part of the disciplines that help people become like Christ. There are no shortcuts or quick ways to grow. Believe me; I wish there were something.

2. True Change Only Comes After Repeated Exposure to the Truth. I compare spiritual growth to physical or athletic growth. If you want to develop that perfect body and compete at a high level in some sport, it requires going to the gym day after day after day. You expose yourself to the proper tools and tactics enough times, and you slowly start to change. You look back a year later, and you say, “I cannot believe how good I have become.” This type of daily commitment is the only way to grow spiritually too. I encourage people to attend Church every week, plug into a small group and develop a daily quiet time. Why? Because you will only change though repeatedly doing the same spiritual exercises. Sure, some days will be hard and sometimes are boring but keep the end goal in sight.

3. Lasting Change Often Comes in an Unexpected Moments. Many times, I have been surprised by the response of a person to the unexpected events in their life. A lousy doctor’s visit, a call from the school, a heart to heart conversation with a spouse or a visit by the police can change your life in an instant. Those are the events that we rarely see coming. Years of listening to Christian teaching through sermons, lessons, books and bible reading suddenly all make sense. You are surprised by the hope, joy, and optimism that fills your soul as all those years come together in one amazing moment. It is like years of training for a tragedy has prepared you for a time of clarity, understanding, and peace. What could have set you back into an abyss of despair propelled you forward in a new and dramatic way.

I am still waiting to deliver that one perfect sermon. Until that day, I preach, and I preach, and I preach. God takes those repeated actions, and he plugs them into your journey. He takes my words and helps you develop a routine of spiritual growth. He prepares you for the moment that will change your life.

A Monday of disappointment follows each Sunday full of expectant change. Once again, I failed to change the world. But maybe, just maybe, God used my words or the words of some preacher to help move you closer to him one inch at a time. I certainly hope that is true.

I am 45 years old, and my life is not all I hoped it would be by now.

I thought I would be the best son ever. I knew I would at least be better than my siblings. Yet, I recently forgot to call my mom after I told her that I would. A week passed, and I totally forgot to engage my mother in conversation.

I thought I would be a great husband. I believed I would have it all figured out after 23 years. Still, I find myself lying quietly in the bed at night feeling so many regrets about things I have done and not done. I struggle daily to understand the woman next to me and make her happy.

I thought I would be the model father. I have been in this role for 20 years, and I should be a better leader. This year has been the most difficult yet. It has been full of failures, frustrations, and fatigue that leave me questioning my family legacy.

I thought I would be a better Bible scholar by now. I want to hunger and thirst for righteousness, but I recently fell asleep in Ezekiel as part of my Bible reading plan. I am still not sure how to understand much of God’s word.

I thought I would simply be a better Christian. Recently, sin has been banging on the door of my heart every day quite loudly. The moment I shut the door on one temptation another stands ready to enter my life. I wanted to be free of the chains that bind me and hurt all my relationships, especially the one with my heavenly father. I am not free; I am still struggling with the same old sins.

I do not write this for sympathy. I do not want you to feel sorry for me in any way. This is my life, and I have not become the person I dreamed by 45. I am just being honest.

I would bet that if you are honest, you feel the same way too. As I talk to people regularly, I hear the stories of hurt, confusion, and disillusionment repeated. It is entirely possible today that you are struggling to hold it all together. The gates that hold back your anger and tears are ready to break.

At moments when the reality of my life hit me the hardest, I return to the core of my faith. I throw myself on the grace of God. He forgives and makes new. He heals and redeems. He takes the mistakes and forms a new future. God uses my failures and shapes me into a better person. I am not the person I hoped I would be, but I thank God, I am not the person I once was. I honestly cannot imagine how bad things might have been without God in my life.

Every day I get up and look in the mirror with a level of disappointment with myself, but I know God is still doing a mighty work in me. Whenever I feel dissatisfied with my life, I grab ahold of God in faith and find joy in the journey. One day I will be better, I know he is forming me as I follow him.

He wanted to rebuild his marriage. It was a mess and divorce was looming shortly. As his pastor and counselor, I gave him a series of ideas that would move him the right direction. He walked out of the office and proceeded to do none of the suggestions I gave him. I was not surprised to find out that his marriage ended in divorce a short time later.

The problem was not that the ideas for impossible or impractical. The issue for him was that the steps he would need to take were difficult. They required a concerted effort to do the right thing, and when it came down to action, he was not willing to work for it.

One essential question about anything you do in life is, “How badly do you want it?”

1. How badly do you want a great marriage? Do you want it enough to sit down and have an awkward conversation? Would you be willing to skip something you want to do in order to be with your spouse? Do you want it enough to go to a counselor and follow their instructions? Do you want it enough to confess your deepest sin to find healing together? Are you willing to adjust your life to make your spouse happy?

2. How badly do you want Christian children? Do you want it enough to schedule a time each day to engage in spiritual growth? Do you want it enough to read a book when you don’t like to read? Would you ever be willing to say “no” to something they want to do because it interferes with a Christian activity?

3. How badly do you want a deep faith in Jesus? Do you want it enough to get up early to have extra time to read and pray? Possibly for you that might mean staying up late. Do you want it enough to skip a sporting event to be a part of a Bible study? Do you want it enough that you plan your week around worship and service?

4. How badly do you want Godly joy? Do you want it so much that you would confess your deepest darkest sin to someone who cares about you? Are you willing to risk the embarrassment of telling people you don’t have it altogether? Are you ready to spend every day reminding yourself in prayer of the blessing you have received? Would you be willing to give up temporary smiles for a more profound joy that lives in your soul? Would you give up something you do as routine for a new life plan?

The list could go on and on.

Life is full of unlimited possibilities of things to do. We often fool ourselves into thinking we want something that we really have no intention of getting. We somehow believe that because we have a desire to accomplish a goal that we are on the right path. I have found what separates people who achieve great things in life and those who do not is the willingness to do whatever it takes to complete their goals. Their actions are aligned with their dreams, and they do the work it takes to make their ideas happen.

So what do you want to do with your life? Now how badly do you really want it?

She was hurting. Their marriage was on the rocks. They came to the office to seek some advice. She started talking and began to share her struggles openly. Then it happened. Her husband launched into a series of ideas to get her back on track. It was clear he had thought about her situation a great deal, and his words were not far from the truth. Then she gave this simple response, “Don’t try to fix me.”

It was not the first time I had heard these words from someone. Honestly, I knew exactly where she was coming from in her thinking because I have thought the same thing. There have been more than a couple of times I have wanted to shout, “Don’t try to fix me” at a well-intentioned Christian.

I think most of us can identify with these words and yet we suddenly forget them when someone starts to open their life to us. We immediately slip into a mode that makes us the expert and willing to offer a lecture on how to get their lives on the right track. I know this is especially true for men.

So let me give you a little Christian advice on how to respond the next time someone begins to bare their soul to you.

1. Listen to them. I know this sounds so basic, but listen to them … really listen. Hear what they are saying and try to place yourself inside their emotions. The Bible encourages us to be “quick to listen and slow to speak.” This is always good advice.

2. Let them know they are not alone. If possible, share a story from your own life that makes a connection. Be careful not to become the hero of your story. I firmly believe the best words we can share are about a time that we struggle and possibly failed in a similar situation. Many times, this person is opening up to you because they think you can understand their struggle, show them that you do.

3. Pray with and for them. I am learning to pray with people the moment that they open up to me. I just pause and ask if it is okay to pray with them, and then I go to God. Other times it can be awkward to pray at the moment, so I promise people to pray for them for a week. Then each day I lift them up to God and ask him to help their situation.

4. Offer a connection (If you know one). I frequently ask, “Do you have anyone other than me you could talk to about this?” If I get a negative response, then I ask if could suggest someone. I might say, “I know a lady who is struggling with the same issue, the two of you should meet.” I might tell them of someone who is in a similar situation and then take the time to introduce them on Sunday. I may not be able to help this person, but I hope I can direct them to someone who can.

5. Point them to God. Remind them of God’s grace. Be careful not to do this in a condescending way that implies they are of weak faith for having this problem. Don’t tell them, “God has a plan” in the moment of tragedy. I usually say that “God will get you through this somehow.” I think people need to be reminded that we serve a loving God who cares about us. It is hard to see if the world feels like it is falling apart, but God is good.

My final suggestion is to be quiet. Usually, people know what they should do in their given situation, but it can be a harsh reality. To confront a sin or question, a person we love can be overwhelmingly stressful. So let the person talk it out while they work through it in their own mind. This can be complicated for a guy like me, but I need to be reminded that God is in control and I don’t have to try to fix everything.