I know I am not the best person to give relationship advice. The struggle for me to connect with other people as an introvert is well documented. But what I am about to write is the one piece of information that can help to transform any relationship.

Pay attention to details.

This one bit of advice can help your marriage, family connections, friendships, and even with your relationship to people you currently consider strangers. Take the time to notice the details of their life. Watch what they like and don’t like, how they take their drinks, favorite foods, enjoyable activities along with the unique and beautiful things they do. Notice them as you pay close attention.

Then use them as a building block to a better relationship.

Telling a coworker that you notice how much they enjoy trains and then giving them a small toy train will change your connection. Buying a small drink and giving it to a neighbor just the way they like it, and you will make them your friend. Giving your spouse a comment about how they wore their hair or that new piece of clothing will make them look at you differently.

Noticing those details tells people that you see them as an individual. It shouts that you appreciate their uniqueness. It means that you are paying attention to them in a way that others are missing.

The secret to excellent relationships is noticing the details that make each person unique and then embracing that with your words and actions.