A master at his craft always makes it look easy.
Their hands move to form perfect brush strokes. Their voice hits all the right notes. In their writing, they combine poetry, intellect, and mystery. They make clutch shots and always run the right plays. Every field of art, sport, and music has people who have mastered their work.
How did they get to be so good at their skills?
They became great by spending a lot of time being bad at their craft. They only got better through hours and hours of mediocre work and failed attempts at greatness.
This makes sense in many areas of life, but it doesn’t seem to apply to knowing God. Either you know him, or you don’t. Right?
I would suggest to you that the way you grow as a believer is to keep studying. Admit there are things you do not understand. Mentally wrestle with passages that seem to contradict your views. Read books you agree with and those with whom you struggle. Ask questions of the masters and listen closely to their teaching.
Occasionally, I meet people who make the life of faith look easy. They are clear on what they believe and hold tightly to the profound truths of the scripture. Their lives demonstrate the grace of God to them and through them. They are mature Christians in every way.
When I meet these people, I do not live under the delusion that this life came with little effort. On the contrary, it took years to become the Godly man or woman they are today. They failed in their words, thinking, and interactions enough times to eventually master them. Sure, they make it look easy, but that does not mean it is.