Their marriage was hanging by a thread.  They were both angry, frustrated, and ready to give up.  My issue was they didn’t seem to care.  Neither one appeared willing to change their communication, take counseling seriously, or put extra effort into making their relationship work. 

When couples reach this point, there are a few phrases I hear repeatedly.  One is, “It’s their fault.”  Placing blame on the other person releases us from the burden of changing our behavior.  Another is, “We will just have to see how things work out.”  That is translated as I am not going to put any extra effort into this situation. 

If you want your marriage to improve, there is only one person you can control.  That is you!  Are you willing to do whatever it takes to make your relationship improve? 

The couples who enjoy long, happy marriages are not those with few struggles.  It is those who commit to not going down without a fight.  They seek counsel, make changes, improve themselves and pour into their spouse with all their might. 

The question is rarely, “Can this marriage survive?” Instead, it is usually, “Am I doing everything I can to help it survive?”