Since the fall, every Monday night, I have been involved in a small group for the men in our Church. It is always interesting, and there is usually a lesson or two to be learned each week. This is one of many small groups I have been involved in, including numerous ones that I have led myself.

I have noticed certain characteristics from the leaders or participants that quickly kill discussion and ultimately connection to other believers through the years. 

-Arrive late.

-Take every opportunity to talk. And talk. And talk.

-Don’t talk. Never say anything. 

-Be sure to talk about yourself and your issues whenever you have the opportunity.

-Don’t ask questions about other people.

-Don’t listen to other people; spend your time thinking about what you want to say.

-Bring up the same issue in your life over and over and over and …

-Tell the same stories repeatedly that everyone has heard. 

-Don’t accept advice; instead, get defensive. 

-Let your emotions run wild each week so that you are unpredictable. 

-Increase your volume and intensity to get your point across.

-Throw in an occasional cuss word for no apparent reason.

-Focus on what you are getting out of the group.

-Leave early or quickly. 

These are some of the most popular ways I have seen people kill a small group. It is not too hard to get people to attend, but many walk away feeling unconnected. This is because many people do not know how to function with a group. Maybe there is an adjustment you need to make to help small groups be more fulfilling to everyone.