How to Kill a Small Group

Since the fall, every Monday night, I have been involved in a small group for the men in our Church. It is always interesting, and there is usually a lesson or two to be learned each week. This is one of many small groups I have been involved in, including numerous ones that I have led myself.

I have noticed certain characteristics from the leaders or participants that quickly kill discussion and ultimately connection to other believers through the years. 

-Arrive late.

-Take every opportunity to talk. And talk. And talk.

-Don’t talk. Never say anything. 

-Be sure to talk about yourself and your issues whenever you have the opportunity.

-Don’t ask questions about other people.

-Don’t listen to other people; spend your time thinking about what you want to say.

-Bring up the same issue in your life over and over and over and …

-Tell the same stories repeatedly that everyone has heard. 

-Don’t accept advice; instead, get defensive. 

-Let your emotions run wild each week so that you are unpredictable. 

-Increase your volume and intensity to get your point across.

-Throw in an occasional cuss word for no apparent reason.

-Focus on what you are getting out of the group.

-Leave early or quickly. 

These are some of the most popular ways I have seen people kill a small group. It is not too hard to get people to attend, but many walk away feeling unconnected. This is because many people do not know how to function with a group. Maybe there is an adjustment you need to make to help small groups be more fulfilling to everyone. 

2 thoughts on “How to Kill a Small Group

  1. Another sure way to kill a small group,
    Making people feel like they are wasting everyone’s time attending if they talk to much , too little, too much about own feelings or their own problems.

  2. I hope you do not think I am trying to make anyone feel bad. I know that I am terrible in a small group setting. I have often killed connection by dominating conversations or being self-centered. I think everyone from leaders to attendees needs to be self-aware so that we can build greater connections.

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