We assign intents to actions.
Whatever anyone does, we immediately make mental guesses at why they did it.
“Did they do that to help me or to hurt me? Were they purposely trying to do bad or good?”
The problem is that often our guesses are not based on truth. Instead, we arrive at them through speculation, rumors, and misinterpreted evidence. We draw false conclusions and make inaccurate assessments.
Everyone does this, even Christians and even in Churches.
Let me ask, is it possible that the person who did that thing you hated did it without malice? They had no ill intentions. They were not trying to hurt you or upset you. They were simply doing their best and made an honest mistake. Their error in judgment or failure was never meant to be taken negatively.
Most areas of tension I find between Church members are not because someone was done wrong. Instead, it is because someone perceived them to have evil intentions when they did it.
The challenge of people living in community is to listen to their words and not the voices inside your head telling you that it was truly done with malice.