Preacher Fred Craddock told this story years ago. It still encourages me and I hope it will make you smile.

I remember in an airport in Kansas City years ago, waiting for a plane, I fell into conversation with a fellow from the University of Utrecht in the Netherlands. He was in this country completing a study on the influence of the conversation between doctors and nurses with the patient in surgery who is under anesthesia.
His view was, in fact, that he had established it beyond all doubt. He found that if the doctors and nurses were negative and gripey and grumpy, then the patient in post-operative conditions was depressed and pessimistic. If the doctors and nurses were upbeat, happy, merry, and cheerful, then the patient in post-operative care was euphoric and optimistic and proceeded to recover quickly.
The time came when I had to catch my plane. I thanked him for the conversation, and he said, “Why, are you a doctor?”
I said, “Oh, no, I’m a preacher.”
“But if it’ll work in surgery, it’ll work in sanctuary.”
So when I go somewhere to speak, and people are asleep, it doesn’t bother me anymore, because I know that several days later they may get a little Christian twitch. They won’t know what caused it, but I’ll know.

Several years ago a pastor friend recommended that I read a book called “The Purple Cow” by a business and advertising writer named Seth Godin. The idea was simple to understand, in a world of ordinary things – your thing needs to stand out. He then gave dozens of examples and illustration of this principle. The idea behind it also could be applied to Church. Each Church needs to be unique in a way that brings glory to God.

Anyway, from then on I began reading other books by Seth Godin along with reading his blog. He is not a Christian but rather a business man and much of his writing only applies to business. On the other hand, several things he writes could apply to Churches (or any non-profit organization) or simply to everyday living. I still read HIS BLOG daily and it greatly influences my writing and often my thinking.

The other day he posted a blog that I thought was worth repeating:

The right moment

You might be waiting for things to settle down. For the kids to be old enough, for work to calm down, for the economy to recover, for the weather to cooperate, for your bad back to let up just a little…

The thing is, people who make a difference never wait for just the right time. They know that it will never arrive.

Instead, they make their ruckus when they are short of sleep, out of money, hungry, in the middle of a domestic mess and during a blizzard. Whenever.

As long as whenever is now.

Over the last week I have heard a similar expression several times repeated in person and on TV. In each case a person was talking about a friend or family member who was deceased. They would talk about the situation they were in and then they would say, “I feel they are here with me right now.” Another version says, “I know they are looking down and smiling.”

This kind of talk reveals two things to me. First, it reveals how little we really know about the after life. Sadly, even many Christians have little clue to what the Bible says about our after life. Most of what I hear is based on subjective feelings and conjecture to make us feel better about our lives. One of the scenario’s that I heard this phrase this week was on TV and a woman was selling off her dad’s possessions. She said as she walked among his possessions and started selling them, “He is here with us.” Honestly, that just made her feel good in the moment and a sense of connection with the past.

The second thing it reveals to me is how little we believe in anything other than heaven. I mean, no one ever says “He is down there looking up at me in pain.” While preparing for the first funeral I ever performed the daughter of the deceased women told me not to mention hell “because we don’t even want to think of that possibility.” None of us ever want to consider that someone we cared about was selfish, mean and ungodly. Jesus considered it a very real possibility when he told the story of a rich man and Lazarus. There he pictures a man in great torment not looking down in love.

Honestly, I do not want to base my eternity on my feelings. I also do not want to base my eternity on my own good efforts. I know how awful of a person I can be some days. And can I take it a step further, if I die and there is a heaven (like I believe) then I do not want to hang around this place watching you live. I want to be off enjoying paradise and all that heaven offers and not here with you.

So today I declare that when I die I hope I am not here. I hope to be enjoying my heavenly eternity with Jesus in paradise. You meet me there because I am not hanging out here with you.

Yesterday I received an email with the heading “We’re giving away one free year of TIME.” I know they meant the magazine, but I did find the title interesting. I guess this especially hit me because of two things that happened yesterday.

First, I opened espn.com to read the sports highlights. Two of headlines listed on the right hand side were about the passing of “Princess Lacy” [See my previous post about “Meaning in Basketball”] and the passing of the “Ultimate Warrior.” I had written a blog about Lacy and knew the story fairly well. The other hit a little closer to home literally. The Ultimate Warrior was born in Crawfordsville, Indiana (where some of my family lives) and went to high school with my cousins at Fountain Central High School.

Second, I had a conversation with my son Logan about the passing of my best friend Paul Shroyer in 1990. I told him about how unexpected his death was and the real pain of never having the possibility of talking to him again. In a world of Facebook you can stay in contact with people miles away, but we still have no contact with those in eternity.

Then I read this headline in my email offering the possibility of one free year of time. How many people would want just a little more time. I am sure people wanted another year with the Ultimate Warrior. I am sure Lacy’s family wants other year. I know I want another year with Paul. Most people would give anything to get one more year of time.

The most interesting thing to me is how much we value time with others after they have gone and how little we value it when we are with them. The real issue is not what would we give for more time, but what did we do with the time we had? I believe God gives us a great gift each new day with 24 hours to use. Are we treating it as a valuable possession or like that email are we just deleting it without thought?

When I was young I learned a verse of scripture that my teacher called “The Golden Rule.” The passage of the Bible is Luke 6:31 (NIV) “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” It is a simple verse that many of us have heard over and over again.

Through the years, I have noticed one truth behind this passage that affects all of our relationships in a subtle way. That is that we do to others what we want done to us. I know that sounds like a restatement, but there is a deep issue at its heart.

Here is what I mean. If I am a person who loves to receive gifts as an expression of love, then I give gifts to other people. If I say “I love you” all the time, then I want you to say it in return. If I do acts of service to show you my love, then I expect you to get busy for me. It goes even deeper – If I am the type of person who says “I am sorry” immediately when things go wrong, then I expect other people to do the same for me.

I believe all of us struggle with this. We do to others what we want them to do to us. Then they do to us what they want done to them and we are confused. Each of us a unique and we want our own unique thing. One of the biggest helps I have noticed in the last few years is watch how other people treat me and then try to do the same for them. If they are constantly serving, then I try to serve them or with them. If they talk a lot to me, I try to talk to them. It applies to dozens of areas.

The bottom line, I want people to love me, care for me, and do for me in a way that brings me joy. For that to happen I need to love them, care for them and do for them in a way that brings them joy.

Easier said than done:-)

If you saw my post about Meaning in Basketball and watched the video then today came the tragic ending.
You can read about it HERE.

Recently I posted a short reading I used in a sermon entitled “Before You Say, ‘I Quit‘” Apparently it hit a nerve with several people, because that post quickly became my most viewed post. I have been reflecting about the reason it is so popular and have only come up with one answer – a lot of people are ready to quit in their marriage. Many people find themselves in a season of frustration and doubt in their marriage.

To couples who are on the edge of quitting I usually ask one singe question, “Have you tried everything you can to save your marriage?”

There are two essential parts to this question:

1. Have YOU tried everything? Don’t tell me what your spouse has or has not done. You can only control your actions. Accept responsibility for your actions and do the work to improve.

2. Have you tried EVERYTHING? The old saying is that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. And yet, many of us try the same things over and over again in our marriage. Have you been to counseling? Have you taken a vacation together? Have you been to your pastor? Have you read a book? Have you been to a conference? Have you done anything? If you tried something in the past and it didn’t work then try something different this time.

Now I know some of you have tried everything. We would need to have a personal talk about what to do now. But most people I meet are stuck in a cycle of blame. They blame their spouse and/or they blame some singular technique they tried that didn’t work. My single question to people cuts to the heart of the issue, “Have you tried everything you can to save your marriage?” “Have you?”

Tonight is the men’s college basketball NCAA division one championship between the University of Kentucky Wildcats and the University of Connecticut Huskies. It is the end of the season of basketball we often called “March Madness.” I am not really excited about either of the teams but I think there is a valuable lesson for all of us in this game. That lesson is found in the fact that one team is a #8 seed and the other is a #7 seed.

Neither of these teams were considered the best team going into the tournament. Actually neither one of them were considered the second best … or third … or fourth .. or … In fact, several years ago it is very possible that neither team would have even made the tournament.

That reminds me that other people’s opinion of me is not necessarily reality. Just because others place no value on me, does not mean that I have no value. My season may have started rough with a few set-backs but that doesn’t mean you can’t finish well.

No matter who wins tonight’s game both teams remind me to never count anyone out. You may be a champion getting ready to make your run.

I have set my mind to complete a new task. In my office are a collection of “Leadership” magazines. It is magazine specifically designed for Christian leaders. I have had a subscription to the magazine on and off since I entered the ministry. Also, I used to know a used bookstore that sold old copies for 50 cents. So through the years I have developed quite a collection. My oldest copy dates back to 1981. In some ways that doesn’t seem old until I think that I was 9 years old at the time.

My personally assigned task is to go back and reread each issue. Then I will cut out any good comics (there are some classics) and file any really good articles for future reference. This will help to clean out my office and get rid of material that is no longer of any use to me.

A couple of days ago I started into the oldest issue and I have noticed a few things while reading back through it.

1. All of the advertisements are really, really dated. This comes as no surprise, but it is interesting. The books, conferences, and speakers who were on the cutting edge 30 years ago have been forgotten and left behind.

2. Most of the writers are relatively unknown today. I would bet if you were to ask a very committed Christian who Gardner Taylor and Warren Wiersbe are, they would have no idea. There might be a few people who know these names, but many of the leaders of old have been forgotten.

3. Much of the information is completely irrelevant. This magazine was written before praise bands, Powerpoint, video venues, the internet, etc. I really find the articles that predict the future to be the funniest. (More on that another time).

The thing that caught my attention today was the articles written about faith and the Bible. Most of them ring just as true today as the day they were written. One example came in the first few pages I read. It was the story of a young missionary who was newly out of college and went to work in Japan. He barely spoke the language and yet he was thrown into prison ministry. He could barely communicate with the inmates and didn’t know what to do. So he went out and bought a Bible in their own language and gave it to them. He also bought one for himself and determined to connect through the Bible. He later returned to the prison to find a couple of inmates wanting to be baptized. He asked them about their faith. They explained that they had read their Bible and wanted to follow what they were told.

One thing I love about being a Christian is that the names and faces change and sometimes the methods change, but the power of the truth is always the same.

In my last post I shared how I keep list after list so that I do not forget the things I need to do and the experiences that I have each day. They are a powerful tool I use in my ministry.

I want to flip that thinking for a couple of minutes. Paul wrote an interesting statement in his letter to the Corinthian Church. It is in his description of love found in 1 Corinthians 13. In verse 5 Paul states that love “keeps no record of wrongs.”

In other words, keep a list of the good things that happen to you but do not keep a list of the bad things. If keeping lists help you to remember then not creating a list will help you to forget.

One of the biggest struggles that we have in our relationships is that we forget the good and keep track of the bad. What if we flip that over? When couples come into my office for marriage counseling, many of them can tell me in detail the times they have been wronged by their spouse. Very few can tell me how they have been blessed. I wish that were not true. Paul says that it is one of the keys in all loving relationships.

So my encouragement today is to keep lists, but keep the right lists. Take out that list of wrongs and hurts and give those things to God and then burn your list. Some things are better forgotten.