It is as important as what you say.

Your words, inflection, demeanor, and volume communicate something about which you speak.

When you talk about Jesus, are you boring, dry, and uninteresting?

Are you angry, frustrated, and mean when you talk to a family member about your faith?

Do your words about being a believer come with energy and enthusiasm?

Are you happy when you talk about being a Christian and part of a Church?

Your mood will carry a message, no matter what words you use. So make sure the emotions fit the topic when you are talking about Jesus.

I overheard one young person saying to another, “He acts like he likes it, but he is such a poser.”

I openly admit that I am not cool or up-to-date on teenage slang, but I thought I knew what he meant. A quick google check confirmed my definition was correct. A poser is a person who pretends to be something they are not, usually to deceive or impress others.

Everywhere you look, there are posers. People are pretending to be smart, trendy, and cool. People act like they have it all together, their family is perfect, and their marriage is flawless.

There are even people who pretend to be spiritual. They stop by Church occasionally, say a few religious words and throw out God’s name in casual conversation. Some will even post a verse in their home or online without ever knowing the context in which it was written. Others will buy a cross necklace they wear for everyone to see. The list of ways we can fake being a follower of Jesus is too numerous to count.   

Being a genuine believer is a challenging endeavor. Don’t be fooled by a few words and fancy trinkets. Faith is seen in our attitudes and actions. If Jesus isn’t transforming your life, you are a poser.

Finding a solution to the problems in your life is not challenging. There are numerous ways to diagnose your relationship issues, personal problems, health struggles, and spiritual battles. There are therapists, counselors, online tools, pastors, books, and friends to help you find a solution to the difficulty you are walking through right now. 

Usually, those answers are not complicated. They are easy to understand what we need to do and why we need to do it.

Executing a game plan is demanding. There can be this huge gap between what we know we need to do and actually doing it. Something that is not complicated to understand may feel nearly impossible for us to implement. 

My guess is that you do not need any more explanation; you need more consistent effort.

Not complicated does not mean it will be easy. 

Nothing.

You were created in the image of God. You are unlike any animal or creature in all of creation. Your intellect, emotions, and soul demonstrate your infinite value and worth. 

You were knit together in your mother’s womb. God made you unique and wonderful among all the people who bear his image. Your eyes, ears, and even your fingertips point to you as a one-of-a-kind human.

God sent his son to redeem you. Even if your life has been filled with mistakes, God loved you while you were a sinner. His love knows no limits through the work of his son.

You are God’s child. When you came to Jesus, he adopted you into his family and put his stamp upon you as his own. You are part of the body of Christ, a nation of believers, and the family of God.

What is wrong with you? The same thing that is wrong with me:  Absolutely nothing.

A thousand compliments can be forgotten with a single complaint. 

We must be cautious about letting one negative voice speak louder than all the positive ones. 

Often, we will convince ourselves that the complaint is more honest. We conclude it takes more courage to say something negative. We somehow think that everyone who gives a positive response is faking it to make us happy. And this person dared to speak the truth. 

That is simply not true. It is only a belief concocted in our heads, forcing us to focus on that one negative person. 

In reality, that person may have deep-seated issues. They may have family of origin problems, have been experiencing a bad day, or seek attention through negative means. There are a thousand possibilities that have nothing to do with your work.

Hundreds of voices are speaking into your life. You get to choose the ones to which you will listen.

We live in a world obsessed with becoming famous. People seek followers, likes, and shares. It is exciting to us when people notice something we created. 

This is nothing new; it existed long before the internet. There are best-seller lists for books, top 40 charts for music, and galleries for art. People give awards and special recognition for various achievements. We have always found ways to create famous people and a format to offer praise. 

If we are brutally honest, each one of us craves the same thing. For most of us, it is on a far smaller scale. We want our co-workers to praise our achievements. We long for friends to admire our skills. We desire our family to say nice things about whatever we do. 

The question is, how many people do you want to like you?

Are you seeking the accolades of millions, thousands, hundreds, or a handful?

I want to suggest that the bigger the audience you aim to make happy, the more unhappy you will become. I believe you are better off making your life matter to just a few or possibly even one or two.

Instead of being popular with a crowd, what if you sought to be something special to someone? Live to make your spouse say incredible things about you. Love to make your children praise you to their friends. Connect so that a couple of friends will do anything for you. Serve God so he will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Life at its best is lived for just a few. If other people like it too, it’s a bonus for you. If not, who cares? The people close to your life will bring you more joy than a million people at a distance.   

Walking through some woods recently, I found a golf ball lying on the ground in nearly new condition. I picked it up and took it home. Eventually, I will give it to my children, who enjoy golfing as they age. 

This is not the first time this has happened. Everywhere I go, I seem to find golf balls and pass them on to my children. One time I asked them if they had ever used these balls, and they assured me that they did. Then they went on to tell me that they lose golf balls all the time while on the course.

So when I picked up this ball not too long ago, I had this simple thought. I don’t think anyone really owns a golf ball. It comes to them, and they use it for a while until it is lost and someone else finds it. They are only temporarily used until they are passed on to another golfer. 

In Christianity, we call that concept stewardship. God gives us money or possessions, and we use them for a little while. The goal is not to hoard up as much as possible because one day, we will die, and everything we possess will be passed on to someone else. The goal is to use all our treasures for a short time and pass them on to bless another person.

No one owns a golf ball, but then again, no one really owns anything. We are all just temporary users. 

It states, “the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question; it’s to post the wrong answer.” The concept is named after Howard G. “Ward” Cunningham, the inventor of wiki software.

Interestingly enough, Cunningham denies ownership of the law, but according to Steven McGeady, Cunningham advised him of this on a whim in the early 1980s, and McGeady dubbed this Cunningham’s Law.

The central idea of this law is proven repeatedly on the internet. You can test it out for yourself, but as a blog writer, I assure you it is true. I am notified of any mistakes quickly and, usually, repeatedly.    

Whether online or in person, remember that people are usually not looking for a correction. Instead, they are looking for people to support them. So, while you may have the correct answer, and the information should be shared, be sure it is done in a loving and supportive way. 

When you have a concern or need help, just ask.

Sure other people have needs too. But that does not make yours any less valuable. 

If I can help or pray with you as a pastor, just ask. If you would like the entire congregation to join in praying for your needs, just ask. If you need help or support, just ask. 

I want to be a part of a community of people who love, pray and care for one another. But we can only offer that to you if you share your needs.

We are all busy, but I assure you that we have time for you. So don’t hesitate to just ask. 

John Koenig initially used this new word in 2012 in his project, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. His work aims to develop new terms for emotions that currently lack words. The German word for sorrow reportedly inspires his newly coined term.    

The complete definition in his dictionary is “the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own – populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness – an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.”

Other dictionaries give it this simplified definition. “The realization that there aren’t any main characters in the world, and everyone has a complex life, thoughts, crushes, relatives, dreams, and mind just as your own.”

The primary idea is that every single person has a story. So while you may be the main character in your story, you also understand that you are a background player in someone else’s story.

As a believer, we understand that God can use our scene in their story to impact its outcome. Everyone we meet has their own tale, but we have the opportunity to interject love, grace, kindness, and hope where it has been lacking.

Sonder is a good feeling, but that does not make you less important. On the contrary, it gives you the chance to impact other people’s stories for good.