Sunday is Valentine’s Day.  This is the weekend we celebrate the love between a man and a woman.  In particular, my sermon on Sunday will focus on married couples and the joy of their union. 

Love inside of marriage is a beautiful and unique thing.  The word of God says that marriage makes two people into one.  There is an intimate connection that unites people physically, but also emotionally, and spiritually.  I believe it is God’s great gift to humanity; to experience intimacy with another human at its deepest level.

The downside is that maintaining this relationship is not easy.  Every couple has issues and disagreements as they are forming this new union.  The glory of love is only realized through the grit of determination.  For two to become one, each individual must commit to staying together even when times are tough.  They must be willing to hang on by their fingernails when others are giving up on their marriage. 

Before you can experience the best that God has to offer in a marital relationship, you must develop the grit and determination to see it through to the end.  Long marriages filled with love and joy are not the result of a special gift given to your spouse this weekend.  (Although that is rarely a wrong move.)  No, great marriages result from two people who are unwilling to give up when times are hard.  The difficulties are what make the good times so sweet. 

When I entered ministry right out of Bible college one of my mentors wrote an article that has stuck with me for over 25 years.  He wrote a little devotion in the magazine for our brotherhood of Churches based on one odd proverb in the Old Testament

Proverbs 14:4 Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests.

There are two simple thoughts in this passage.  The first is that without oxen, you have nothing to clean up.  There is no work to gather and store food and no getting up early to feed them or staying up late as they give birth.  The manger and barn are empty, and life is easy. 

But if you want a great harvest, you need to have oxen.  If you own oxen, you can plant more and therefore harvest more.  Having an ox may require work, but the payoff is seen at the harvest

In his article, he then applied the logic of that proverb to the Church.  Having no guests at Church will keep the place clean.  If there are no children or children’s ministry, there will be no markers to clean up or dirty hands making a mess of the sink.  Having lots of people at the Church building each week makes a mess for someone to clean up after it is over. 

But if you want to see people come to know Jesus.  If you’re going to see lives transformed by the power of Jesus, it will require you to have people coming to the Church building.  

In other words, not having non-believers come to Church will keep things nice and clean, but the glory of a Church is when they are reaching new people for Jesus. 

So the question is, does the Church want to be neat and clean or have the mess that comes with ministry?  I would rather have the mess.

We rarely associate Jesus with hatred.  Jesus is all about love.  He tells us to love one another because he loved the world, and his followers will be known by their love.  But did you know that the Bible tells us that Jesus also hates things? 

In the book of Revelation, the Apostle John is writing down the words being revealed to him on the island of Patmos.  The first part of his vision is of the resurrected Jesus and the glory of his might.  The next part of the book contains his letters to the seven Churches of Asia Minor.  In this section, Jesus tells the Church in Ephesus, “But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.” (Revelation 2:6 – NIV 2011)

According to early Church fathers, the Nicolaitans derive their name from one of the deacons enlisted to serve in Acts chapter 6.  Nicolas was said to have apostatized and become the founder of a religious sect.  This conclusion is somewhat of speculation as there is no direct evidence.  Others have said that he did walk away from the traditional faith but did not form a sect; thus, his name is used like Balaam and Jezebel in these chapters of Revelations as symbolic with those who deny proper religious belief.  We can be sure that this group stepped away from the New Testament teachings somewhere in early Church history and formed their new religious congregation. 

Most scholars agree that this group had severed themselves from the Church in two ways, and probably both as they overlap.  The first mistake they made was to accept a teaching called Gnosticism. This teaching states that the only thing significant in faith is what you know and believe in your heart.  Faith is separate from actions.  You can do whatever you like as long as you hold the right convictions.  The second part of their belief is a natural outworking of the first.  If it doesn’t matter what you do with your physical body, then giving oneself over to all sexual relations was acceptable.  Living together, adultery, homosexuality, and all forms of sexual immorality are permissible as long as you still believe Jesus is your Savior.  While there is some speculation as to the extent of this group’s depravity, everyone does agree that their step outside of faith was marked by immorality.

The words of Jesus in Revelation chapter 2 remind us that Jesus hates people who claim to follow him and yet have no desire for holiness.  They speak of grace without transformation.  They teach justification without sanctification.  Their words are of Jesus as Savior but not Lord.  The message of salvation is not connected to discipleship.  The people wanted all the good parts of the gospel without taking up a cross. 

Jesus says, “I hate that,” and he is happy that this Church does too. 

Sometimes we need to be reminded that grace is not cheap and following Jesus calls for radical transformation.  That message may sound harsh in the eyes of the world, but a true love of Jesus requires that we hate what is evil. 

Numerous people I encounter want to know, “How much ministry should I do?” They may not use those exact words, but their intent oozes through in other questions.  After all, we have a limited amount of time, so how much service does God require of me?

I hate this type of questioning as it feels like people are asking, “What is the least amount of effort I can put into serving the Lord that will still make him happy with me?” It sounds like the students I have known who did the bare minimum to get a passing grade. 

Do we really think this is a good question for us to be asking?

Christians worship a God who is believed to have come to earth to give of himself.  The words of the New Testament are that he “poured out” himself.  Philippians chapter two says that he made himself nothing.  He demonstrated his willingness to serve by washing the disciple’s feet.  His ministry’s final great act was to surrender himself on the cross as a ransom for many.  The result of this work is that his followers receive grace upon grace.  The abundance of his love, compassion, and mercy for his people is unmatched in all the world. 

If this is the God we worship, then should we ask, “What is the minimum amount of effort I can serve and still make God happy?” It seems like we should be seeking to give him our greatest effort and not our least.  It was Jesus who said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23 – NIV 2011) 

Some days I really do wish it were easier to follow Jesus.  I would love to lie on the couch all evening, along with weekends.  I would spend more lazy time asking the world to serve me and my needs.  But faith is no place for the weak or lazy.  It requires us surrendering our entire life to the one who gave his life for us.  Grace is amazing, and our response should be nothing less than our best. 

There are numerous things in my life for which I never thought I would be thankful.  Many experiences that I imagined I would look back upon with remorse have turned into the doorway to a better today and a brighter future.  So I want to take a few lines to write “thank you” to all my unexpected friends on my faith journey. 

Thank you to pain for helping me appreciate the moments of joy.

Thank you to heartbreak for teaching me the value of love.

Thank you to trials for making me stronger.

Thank you to failures for keeping me humble.

Thank you to those who turned their back on me for making me value my real friends.

Thank you to sorrow for instructing me on how to express my emotions.

Thank you to other’s mistakes, which enable me to show compassion and mercy. 

Thank you to the wounds that make me wiser in the future.

Thank you to darkness for opening my eyes to the light.

Thank you to loss for allowing me to treasure the time I have left.

Thank you to sin for showing me God’s amazing grace.

The next time I want to complain, my goal is to stop and see what I am learning and how I am growing through the experience.  Perhaps you will join me in being more thankful, even for the things that are difficult to endure.

This Sunday, I am kicking off a two-week sermon series on love and marriage.  Whenever I preach this type of series, I begin to think of all the struggling marriages that I know.  I want to offer them hope and help. Here is one of the things I tell couples who wish to improve their marriage.

Your relationship with your spouse is the result of your actions.  If you invest time and energy into your relationship, it will always improve as you grow closer together.  If you neglect each other for whatever reason, you will grow apart, and your relationship will struggle. 

Here is the part that most people do not understand.  They immediately think that to save their marriage, they need to take some significant action to change everything.  They believe their spouse wants them to give up all their hobbies, friends, and personal pursuits so they can spend every minute together.  That is RARELY the case. 

What your relationship needs to grow and thrive is small things often.  Doing things like sharing a 10-minute conversation each day can bring you closer together.  There is a long list of little gestures you can do to help your marriage thrive.  You can send a text every day to say that you are thinking of them or that you love them.  A touch, a look, a word, and a little time are all actions that will improve your marriage. 

The old question is, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer is, “One bite at a time.” And how do you improve your marriage?  The answer, “One small action at a time.”

Almost every day, I hear a new story about someone whose sin has been made public.  They were caught in a lie, exploded in anger, found to be having an affair, or discovered to be immoral in one of a thousand ways.  These stories make headline news and are fodder for conversation at Church prayer meetings. We all know the stories, and even a non-believer can tell you about the hypocrisy of people calling themselves followers of Jesus and then not acting like their leader. 

My question for today is, “What is your response when you hear stories like that?”

Do you respond with a sense of moral outrage?  How could someone with their knowledge and experience behave like that?  How shameful.  They are such a disgrace to believers everywhere. 

Do you respond with compassion?  I feel sorry for them trying to lead this double life and not know the freedom found in Christ.  They need grace now more than ever.  I hope this is the catalyst for change in their lives, and I want them to know the grace that gives them a second chance. 

Both of these reactions are logical:  Righteous indignation over sin and compassion over sin.  Either one of them are normal responses, BUT only one is helpful when people are hurting over their failures. 

That might be the exact thing you NEED to hear. 

Perhaps no one has told you the truth.  Your friends knew it would hurt your feelings.  Those closest to you are often the last ones to say anything about your struggles.  On the other hand, you would not listen to strangers. 

Painful words can often be the most helpful. 

If you will listen closely and recognize the truth being spoken to you.  Then take that nugget of information and apply it to your life. 

No one wants to hear that they are angry, overweight, selfish, mean spirited, negative, pessimistic, domineering, unorganized, unhelpful, or a variety of other issues.  But how will you know unless someone tells you?  You obviously cannot listen to every critical person, or you will be utterly discouraged all the time.  But you can see the grain of truth behind their words that you really need to hear. 

Every person has some area of their life that they need to improve for God.  Would you listen to someone if they told you that truth you need to hear – even if you don’t want to hear it?  Perhaps someone is already trying to say something to you, but you have chosen not to listen.  Today could be a painful day as you understand the truth about yourself.  It could also be the day that makes you more like Jesus.    

Every verse of scripture has one meaning. There is one thing the original writer meant to say as that passage was penned. This is called the Author’s Intended Meaning (AIM) by most people who study the Bible.

While every text in the scriptures has one meaning, there are often different ways of looking at it. One preacher taught me that the word of God is like a diamond. An expert jeweler can take that one stone and cut it in such a way as to make it sparkle in every direction. The light will be reflected in each way that you spin it – always revealing its true beauty no matter where you stand.

The Bible should be the same way. It is God’s solid and unchanging word with one true meaning, but each time you read it, it can sparkle in a new direction and shine a light on our lives. A good teacher can help to turn the passage for everyone to see it, but the beauty is there to see if we only look close enough.

One reason you read and reread the scriptures is that each time you will see something a little different. A word or phrase might stand out to you and be an encouragement. The lines of Jesus might inspire you with each new reading. There may be a sentence that you never noticed that could change your thinking. A story you have heard a hundred times suddenly means more in light of your current situation. Whenever you return to those familiar words of your youth, they can illuminate some truth you have missed or forgotten.

The next time you pick up your Bible to read. Take your time and look closely at those familiar tales. Pause and sit in quiet reflection with every passage. God might have something new to show you, even in the old, old stories.

I don’t know that this is true for every preacher. I’m convinced it is true for most of us with minor variations in routine.  (I am not looking for a pep talk, I just want you to know how my typical Sunday feels.)

5:00 am – Time to get up.  Start the day with prayer and optimism.  Today is going to be great.

6:12 am – Practice the sermon a couple of times to make sure I have it memorized and ready. 

7:32 am – Arrive at the Church building and get everything ready for the day. 

8:01 am – Other people arriving at the building and practicing worship.  Excitement is growing.  This is going to be a fantastic day.  The band is here and ready, and so am I. 

8:55 am – Very few people here for our first worship program.  Is anyone coming today?  This might be the day no one shows up.  Who can blame them after last week’s sermon?

9:12 am – People are here, a little late, but at least they came.

9:28 am – Game time.  Here we go, let’s change the world.  The sermon is going to be a home run; I can feel it. 

9:42 am – No one seems to be listening.  Every time those people get up and down, it distracts everyone else. Hopefully, someone is getting something useful.

9:58 am – It’s over.  I am pretty sure no one listened.  Another bomb.  This is so hard. I am sure I will do better next program. 

10:35 am – The second program is starting.  Is it possible I have forgotten the entire sermon in a half-hour?  Think, Matt, think! 

10:48 am – I cannot focus on these songs.  The sermon stinks.  Is it too late to write something new?  Are twelve minutes enough to make the changes?  Oh, forget it.

11:03 am  – Here we go again.  Is anyone going to listen to this one? 

11:11 am – Wow.  There are several people missing today.  Is something going on that I don’t know about, or is it just me? 

11:24 am – Almost done preaching. I am drained, and I don’t even care anymore.

11:31 am – It is finally over.  I hope no one talks to me.  I am very vulnerable right now. 

11:42 am – A few people said they liked the sermon, but they always say they like it.  Most people left without a word, so I am praying that one person was blessed today. 

11:50 am – I had high hopes for today.  Turned out average at best.  I cannot believe I failed again.  What does it take to reach people for Jesus?  Maybe I need a gimmick.  Some object lesson or cool video to make things better.  Too bad I don’t know video, and I am not creative. 

12:12 pm – I don’t know what to do anymore.  I have been preaching for almost 28 years, and I have almost nothing to show for it.  Maybe I should quit.

1:37 pm – Darkness. All is darkness. God, I am sorry I let you down again. 

3:19 pm – I am going to give myself one more week.  If nothing exciting happens next week, I quit.

6:15 pm – If I start working on next Sunday’s sermon now, maybe next week’s sermon will be better.  I will definitely pray more, study more and work harder this week. 

9:23 pm – Exhausted, got to get some rest and be ready to get to work tomorrow.  This week is going to be great.