There has been a cold rain almost every other day for the past two weeks here in Missouri. 

I wish I could make it stop. Bring out the sunshine and dry everything off while warming things up. 

But alas, I cannot do it. I lack the power. 

I can hold umbrellas.

Each one of us has the power to impact the lives of those who come near us. We can add a little sunshine to their day and make them feel the warmth of kindness from another person. 

It may not be possible to fix everything for people but keep your focus on what you are able to do. 

People want and need connections to other believers.

The trouble comes when people think that the best relationship should be with their preacher.

I am here to break the sad news to you, “It is not possible for the preacher to be good friends with everyone in his Church.” No one has the relationship capacity to be a good friend with more than 12-15 people. Usually, 2-3 people are all that can be very close to anyone.

Let me make sure we are clear. Even in a Church of 50 people, the preacher is not everyone’s friend. They may know “about” all 50 people, but they do not “know” them personally. My definition of “knowing” is that they understand what makes a person laugh and what makes them cry. They know what brings the other person joy and pain. I want to clarify because knowing someone is not the same as being able to give you their spouse’s name, kid’s names and ages, work info, and a background overview. A friend is someone who knows your heart and soul while caring deeply for you.

No one can be an excellent friend to 50 people or more, even your preacher.

The goal of a Church has never been to have everyone connected to the preacher. In fact, that might be a sign of a very unhealthy group of people. Instead, the desire is for everyone to have a relationship with someone.

You do not need to be my friend, but we both should have friends.

Don’t get me wrong; we should care about one another as brother and sister in Christ. Both preacher and congregation should strive to know more about each other and be as friendly as possible at all times. Both groups should eat together and share their lives.

But to find soul-fulfilling relationships, you will usually need to look around at the people sitting next to you, not the person on stage.

Personal connections in Church are vital to have with someone. And that is true for everyone.

Frequently the decisions we face as believers are not black and white.

We are never asked, “Will you choose Satan or Jesus?” The choices are not about right and wrong. Often, they are about picking between the good and almost good. They are about small compromises to our commitment rather than total apostasy. Will we choose to follow Jesus in this one area of our life that no one else notices?

What do you do when the choices to live for Jesus are not easy?

I often want to say to people, “Follow the path of most resistance.” The way of Jesus is narrow and difficult. Whenever life is complex, you are usually on the right path following him.

Obviously, it is much more complex for a Christian to arrive at the right decision than asking a single question. Finding the Lord’s will in your life will require at least these three things.

First, you must know the Bible. God revealed his will there, and numerous answers can be found on its pages.

Second, you need to have a willing heart. This can only come from within you. Are you ready to do whatever the Lord asks you to do? Would you accept it if he were pointing you toward a job with less pay? If he told you to give something up or take something on, would you be willing to do it? Those are questions only you can answer.

Third, you need a couple of mature Christian friends who will be completely honest with you. Each part of that is essential. They are required to be believers trying to walk the same path with Jesus. They need to be mature in their faith and life. As I age, I am beginning to see the need for wisdom from the aged. They must be a friend. You need someone who has your best interests in mind. The single most challenging piece to attain is the last one. It is critical that the people be willing to be honest with you. They value you more than friendship. It is risky to tell someone the total truth because they might reject you, and the relationship will die. Few are the people who will be completely honest with you when asked.

The Christian life is complex. God wants us to be part of a faith community because we need each other. It is essential to have people around us to help us see things we might be missing. Living in black and white is easy to do alone, but you need mature Christian friends for all the gray areas.

A straightforward question for Christians to ask one another is, “Where do you see that in the Bible?”

Is there a passage where this is stated? Is there a section where this is explained? Is there a story where this is illustrated?

What is there in the Bible that led you to that conviction?

Too often, we hold onto traditions, poor advice, and unbiblical influences with the same enthusiasm as the Scriptures.

I know your grandparents said it, your teacher explained it that way in school, and even your pastor might have taught it a particular way. But the bigger question is, “Where do you see that in the Bible?”

Just because it makes sense in your head doesn’t make it scripture. 

Since the fall, every Monday night, I have been involved in a small group for the men in our Church. It is always interesting, and there is usually a lesson or two to be learned each week. This is one of many small groups I have been involved in, including numerous ones that I have led myself.

I have noticed certain characteristics from the leaders or participants that quickly kill discussion and ultimately connection to other believers through the years. 

-Arrive late.

-Take every opportunity to talk. And talk. And talk.

-Don’t talk. Never say anything. 

-Be sure to talk about yourself and your issues whenever you have the opportunity.

-Don’t ask questions about other people.

-Don’t listen to other people; spend your time thinking about what you want to say.

-Bring up the same issue in your life over and over and over and …

-Tell the same stories repeatedly that everyone has heard. 

-Don’t accept advice; instead, get defensive. 

-Let your emotions run wild each week so that you are unpredictable. 

-Increase your volume and intensity to get your point across.

-Throw in an occasional cuss word for no apparent reason.

-Focus on what you are getting out of the group.

-Leave early or quickly. 

These are some of the most popular ways I have seen people kill a small group. It is not too hard to get people to attend, but many walk away feeling unconnected. This is because many people do not know how to function with a group. Maybe there is an adjustment you need to make to help small groups be more fulfilling to everyone. 

Yesterday was Easter. It is a big day in the Christian community. The worship was phenomenal, the crowds were large, and the people were happy. The feeling in the air was almost electric on a significant religious day like that. I get a similar sentiment at Christmas when everyone comes to Church and is in the best mood. It leaves me feeling so close to God and his people.     

I have also experienced this same kind of feeling when I have attended various conferences and retreats throughout my career. Spending a day or two reading the Bible, praying, fellowship with other believers, and listening to dynamic speakers will put you on a spiritual high.

On the flip side, I have also seen people get close to God through tragedy. This could be the loss of someone they love that causes a person to do some soul searching. It also occurs when people walk through their own issues like a heart attack or cancer. These moments in life force us to place our total dependence on God and leave us with a feeling that our lives will never be the same. 

The question I am pondering today is, “How long will it last?”

Recently I saw someone at the local grocery who told me they were “turning their life around” after a series of events. They got excited about Church and faith, and it lasted all of six weeks. Then gradually, things went back to the way they were before.

One challenge in faith is endurance. We must have the ability to stand firm in our faith after the big days have passed, and our feelings have changed. It is rarely some big sin that knocks someone off the course of faith. Usually, it is the daily grind of keeping the faith when nothing exciting happens. 

I love Easter and the experiences I had yesterday. I hope all the people who attended anywhere had a wonderful day that was a blessing to their faith. I also pray that everyone will protect the spark that was lit and keep it burning for a long time. 

In my college dorm room was a handwritten quote that I put on a notecard above my desk. I heard the line in a sermon, and it stuck with me. It remains indelibly etched in my mind today. The line was, “The loves we had were far too small.” 

We desire love, but human love is too small to fill our souls. The love of a spouse is an enormous blessing, but it is still too small. The love of children and grandchildren can bring us joy, but it is not big enough. The love of family, friends and adoring people will even leave us empty inside eventually. 

Only the love of God can give us everything we seek.  

Today is called Good Friday. Jesus tells his followers a few hours before the cross, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13 – NIV 2011

This is the day we see love beyond all understanding and expectation. It is truly a love of another kind. It is the kind that will fill our souls and leave us satisfied. 

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17 – NIV 2011

Few people say that in the Church, but honestly that is what many want to know. 

Is attendance enough? Does it have to be more than once a month? I mean, I want to be treated as an insider with a sincere connection, so what is the minimum I can attend and still feel like that?

Do I have to serve? If so, is there something I can do on a rotation every other month or so? And if I don’t do it, let’s make sure it is not a big deal. I mean, I want to serve the Lord and feel good about making an impact for Jesus, so how little can I do to achieve that feeling?

Will I need to give my money? I know ten percent was the Old Testament standard, but we live in New Testament times. Do I have to give more than one percent? Who really cares about percentages anyway? I mean, I want to feel like a generous person who is kind whenever there is a need. So what is the smallest amount I can donate not to feel selfish?

It is Easter season, and every year I am reminded that I am glad God didn’t think like that. 

There are four types of words that you can say to people that will impact their lives in positive ways, sometimes for eternity.

1.Thanks

I am thankful for you.

Thanks for your kindness; it did not go unnoticed. 

Thank you for being so supportive.

2. Encourage

You did such a great job on that project.

Your work is an encouragement to so many people.

I am so encouraged whenever I speak with you.

3. Blessing

You are a blessing to my life.

I was blessed by your actions.

You are a blessing to this Church and the work of the Lord.

4. Prayer

I am praying for you and your family.

Let me pray for you.

How can I pray for you?

These statements will brighten people’s day, bring joy to their lives, and help them feel loved. 

Unfortunately, these words are often left unsaid. Today is a great day to say things that will positively touch people for God’s kingdom. Don’t be fake, but also, don’t be silent.

This Sunday, we officially celebrate the resurrection of Jesus as a Church. This is a great time to attend a worship service to honor the risen Lord. It is an equally good opportunity to invite your family and friends to join you and hear about the most significant event in history.  

Let me also state that this is a good day for believers to demonstrate their belief in this event through their actions. This Sunday is an excellent time to be selfless and kind to other people who need to know Jesus. 

Would you be willing to park far away from the building so that guests might be able to park close? Would you be willing to sit near the front of the auditorium so that visitors can have the back seats, especially if they show up late? Would you be ready to talk to people you do not know and do not recognize instead of your old friends so that others might feel welcome? Would you be willing to sing, pray and keep distractions to a minimum so that other people can encounter the message of Jesus enthusiastically? 

This week, one of my most challenging tasks is to get believers to do the little things that make a massive difference in the faith of others. We come together to worship a God who sent his son to die on a cross for our sins and was then resurrected so that we might have life in his name. God has done everything to secure our salvation. Are we willing to do a few small things to that other people might hear the message?