When I graduated college, the edges of my life were sharp and could hurt you. I had firm opinions that could not be swayed. I had unmovable ideas about how the world worked on topics such as marriage, parenting, faith, Church, and politics. And unfortunately, I went into the ministry with these rough edges, and I continually left hurt and heartache behind me.

Looking back, I see the wisdom of God in putting us together with other believers in this thing called a Church. While my life crashed hard into some people, others crashed harder into me. Slowly those rough edges began wearing smooth.

Now I could understand the pain and struggle some people experienced in their marriage; sometimes, there were no clear answers. I saw good parents fail and watched my kids have their own issues. People who didn’t share the same views as me on everything were walking with Jesus in a vibrant relationship that I did not possess. And politics brought only division to those who swore by its power.

Little by little, over a lifetime with the other followers of Jesus, I became less rough and more friendly to the people I met. I am still not where God wants me, but with every passing season, I feel another chunk of me fall away as I am molded to look like Christ.

When people ask about the Church, I have my Biblical answers and simple explanations. But I want to tell them that it is the most incredible group of people you will ever hate until God helps you to love them. Then and only then will you understand what I am writing.

Anytime you watch someone do their job and think, “That looks easy,” and possibly add the phrase, “I could do it better.”

Know that you are 100% wrong.

The people who make their job look easy are the ones who spend countless hours away from people perfecting their craft. They have calloused hands, lost sleep, and spent years working on their skill. They have knowledge and experience accumulated through failures and mistakes.

I have learned through the years that a person with skill will only make it LOOK easy.

This is true in every arena of life.

Throughout my years of ministry, I have discovered a few things that surprised me about being a Pastor in the local Church.

1. Some People Surprise Me. There are always a handful of people who will do almost anything for the Church. They serve happily in every area where help is needed. I have watched some people donate hundreds of hours to the cause of Christ without complaint or expectation of recognition.
2. Attendance Surprises Me. Some people are here every week unless there is a tragedy. Others I am totally unable to predict. They show up for a month in the fall, then at our candlelight, then a couple of days in February, and other surprising times. I am unsure who I will speak to every week and if they will be back the following week.
3. Behind the Scenes Activity Surprises Me. Inevitably I will talk to someone at Church doing great ministry that very few people know about. There have been people who provide meals for others, some holding Bible studies, others giving rides to people, holding prayer meetings, and dozens of other things that benefit the kingdom of God.
4. Those Who Leave Surprise Me. Every year about 20% of a congregation disappears for one reason or another. Some people move, others change jobs, and their schedule interrupts Church; others find a different Church, and a few quit it altogether. The list of people who are no longer a part of the Church I lead is surprising. With very few of them, could I have predicted their departure.
5. God Always Surprises Me. I am always amazed at how things work out with the Lord. Money comes at just the right time, the right person steps up to help in ministry, someone decides for Jesus, and a thousand other positive things happen all the time. God always does exceedingly more than I could ask or imagine, and he does it in his time and his way. Even after all this time, he has a way of surprising me with each new season.

These are some of the major things I was not expecting when I entered the ministry. Some of them made me smile, others made me cry, but all were a surprise.

I saw a commercial for the new iPhone while watching TV the other day. First off, the setting is hilarious. There is a race with a bunch of schoolboys. They are at a fair or some outdoor event. The course is dirt, and no one is appropriately dressed for a footrace. Second, there is a big crowd to watch a handful of boys run a few yards.

As the boys line up, one boy looks at his mom, standing equal to the starting line with her new phone, ready to film the race. The mom then runs at the same speed as the boy sideways while holding her phone and filming. She runs in front of everyone, and many of them are filming too. She runs into people, hits a lady, steps in a mud puddle, and makes everyone get out of her way. Finally, the boy wins the race, and the video is perfect because of a new feature that eliminates shaking.

What upsets me about it is the utter self-absorption of the woman. It appears that no other adult or child matters. She gives no thought to anyone else, and no one calls her on it. It is an advertisement that promotes selfishness, and I hate it.

One of the lessons I tried to teach my children is what we call the golden rule. It is found in the Sermon on the Mount delivered by Jesus in Matthew. “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” (Matthew 7:12 – NIV 2011)

As followers of Jesus, we are aware of the people around us, and we treat them in a way that glorifies God. That means we should never run in front of people, pushing them out of the way for selfish reasons. Instead, we are to be people who let others in front of us.

I know it is just a phone commercial, but don’t let that mindset quietly slip into you subconsciously. They are also selling a story, and the people of God should not buy into it.

God comes to Job after all his attempts to understand the things happening in his life. His friends have had their say, and Job has responded to each discourse. Then God shows up and begins questioning Job. We quickly discover that there are numerous things in this life that we do not understand, but we accept them. Likewise, other things seem odd, but God has a design for them. 

One of the things that God brings up is the Ostrich. In Job chapter 39, he starts by saying several negative things about this bird. It can’t fly, and it is not wise where it lays its eggs. It is not a good parent and not a very smart animal. Then he says this last line, “Yet when she spreads her feathers to run, she laughs at horse and rider. (Job 39:18 – NIV 2011) The Lord points out several bad things about the Ostrich, but when it begins to run, it is beautiful and faster than any horse and rider. 

It is easy to see our shortcomings; most of us can list everything we are bad at doing. But what is the one thing you can do well? Perhaps God created you with only one ability, but when you put it to use, it is a thing of beauty. 

You do not need to be able to do a lot well but find your one thing and do it with all your might.

Today is Valentine’s Day, the day we typically celebrate romantic love. Many people will buy chocolates, flowers, or a nice piece of jewelry, while others will go for a fancy dinner. Gifts and cards will be given, and romance will fill the air.

I suggest that you give the greatest gift in the world – TIME.

A few years ago, I noticed a shift in the people I was leading. In my experience, people used to value money highly. They would come to the Church and spend hours working and working to save the Church money. They would also scrimp and save, using every means to build their personal bank account. Money was kept with a tight fist.

Then this shift happened, and time became more valuable. They started having kids’ events every evening, and there were places to go and things to do. Suddenly people were hurrying through life, had a packed schedule, and responded to “How are you doing?” with the single word “busy.” People no longer gave large blocks of time to the Church but started giving more money so the Church could pay someone to do projects.

Not only that, but now people have phones in their pockets all the time. Messages and phone calls roll in constantly, giving people less downtime. When they get a break, they grab their phone and fill it with something from recreation to more work.

That person you love and who cares for you in return finds that time with you is more precious than ever. Unfortunately, giving them a few minutes of undivided attention is rare. So I believe the greatest gift you can give is TIME. Not just hours and minutes, but give them your undivided attention. Put the phone down, shut the TV off, and maybe get the kids a babysitter.

It has been said that love is spelled T-I-M-E, which may be the best gift anyone can give.

It was my second year of full-time ministry, and I had decided to launch a monthly printed newsletter for our Church (it was 1996). Two other local preachers named Jeff and John, along with me, made it our goal to launch something that year for our perspective Churches, and then we would try to help each other improve what we were doing. 

I sat down with my pencil and paper and began drafting ideas. I made detailed plans for each section, developed a format, selected a name, and debated the graphics I would use.

The next time I saw these two men, John had his first issue created, printed, and mailed. He had gotten the first one done in record time while I was still in the planning phase.

He handed each of us a copy, and on each page was some error that required adjustment before the next issue went to print. Jeff and I walked through every page with a red pen and showed him all his mistakes and things to consider. John looked at me and said a line I will never forget, “You can’t improve on nothing.” He continued in his thick southern accent, “You have got to start somewhere, and you can improve from there.”

While I was working to develop a perfect newsletter, he was already getting material out to the public. From there, people gave him feedback, and within a couple of months, he had a nice-looking publication. He moved quickly and made adjustments while I was still working on finishing the first one.

Sometimes the best place to start a project is somewhere. Anywhere. From there, you will have the chance to make changes and create a higher-quality product. Remember, you can’t improve on nothing.  

When reading material designed to help Churches, I am often surprised to read the word expert. And yet it is something you see repeatedly. For example, some writers are considered “Church Growth Experts,” while others specialize and become “Volunteer Coordination Experts, Guest Services Experts,” and “Public Speaking Experts.”

When someone is labeled an expert, they are an authority in that field. This is because they have comprehensive knowledge of a particular area of Christian work.

The problem I see after 29 years of ministry is that there are no experts in the Church world. Sure, some people have a large amount of knowledge gained from their experiences, but they are not experts.

This is because the Church is ever-changing as culture changes. Jesus remains the same, but the methods we use are modified year after year. Not only that, every congregation is unique and placed in a specific location. Every Church is one of a kind.

Over the past 20 years, I watched a man plant a Church with great success. People labeled him as a “Church Planting Expert.” Eventually, he left that first Church to start another one in a different town in another place in the country. His second Church has been struggling for almost ten years and is no larger in attendance than the Church I lead. All the dynamics were different, and the results were not nearly identical.

I am wary of anyone who is labeled as an expert. I try to learn from them, but just because something worked for them might not mean it will work for you.

The best thing to do when you have an idea for the Church you attend is to begin with prayer. First, see where God is leading YOU. Then ask some friends, read a book, listen to a podcast, gather wise information, and talk to the leadership. Then pray again and see if God is still laying it on your heart. If so, go and serve the Lord your own way, no matter what the experts say. Quite often, the experts are all wrong.

The things I write are all received differently.

Thanks to my publishing program on WordPress, I can see which posts are visited the most, get the most likes, and are shared by people. Some of my writings generate significant interest, while others get almost no attention.

But I aim to keep writing one lousy post after another until one hits home with people. 

I suggest that whatever you do for the Lord, keep doing it over and over. Even when you feel like you are not doing it well, keep working. You never know when God will use something you did dramatically. 

The greatest hymn writers in history often wrote thousands of songs only to have one or two that endured. Great preachers often speak thousands of times before that one message has a dramatic impact. Some painters have painted hundreds of pictures before they get the one that takes your breath away. Many writers will put together multiple books before they sell more than a few hundred copies. The list of people and professions that require perseverance is long.    

This post may be another lousy attempt at connecting with people, but if I keep working, maybe the next one will be better.

Keep doing your best at whatever you do; you never know when you will do something that God uses significantly. 

“I am never going back there again!”

I will never eat, shop, visit, or spend my money there ever again.

We have all said that about someplace. The service was terrible, and the experience was upsetting. So we decided that we were going to protest that place. We severed our relationship and walked away forever.

Of course, this will get mentioned when other people plan to visit that establishment. Then we will vocalize our disdain for that place to sway other people’s opinions. Even now, we can feel our blood boil whenever that place is mentioned.

We do this with people too.

The interaction did not go the way we wanted it to go. They made you angry and didn’t seem to care. Finally, you are so frustrated with them that you swear, “I will never have anything to do with them again.” 

With that, you began your personal protest against that person. Now, whenever anyone speaks of them, you tell your unpleasant story and try to sway other people’s opinions. Quite often, we feel justified in our frustration and believe everyone else should feel the same way.

I understand this outside the Church, but inside the community of the Lord’s people, this should not happen. Paul writes to the Church in the city of Colossae, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13 – NIV 2011)

Maybe it is time to drop your picket sign, give up your personal protest and find the forgiveness that is needed.