Through the years, I have met numerous people who reject God because of some painful experience in their life. For example, one man watched his dad die of cancer, another person witnessed her brother’s struggles, and still, another suffered under the hands of an abusive parent.  Each story is genuinely agonizing, and I cannot imagine the hurt these people feel.

Each one then told me how they could not believe in a God who allowed such evil in the world. So they rejected any faith and walked away from the Lord and the Church forever.

After hearing stories like these, I have one question I like to ask, and I have yet to receive a satisfying answer.  I simply ask, “How did giving up on God make your life better?” 

Usually, I am greeted with a blank stare.  One lady muttered, and another person got angry.   Still, no one has been able to explain to me how a rejection of God made their pain any easier.  If they let me keep talking, I like to tell them, “Unfortunately, you removed all hope from the situation.”  I explain how their father’s death was just a sad ending, their brother will die without forgiveness, and their abusive parent will never see any justice served.  This is not an attempt to be cruel; rather, a chance for them to process their thinking. 

I firmly believe that only does our faith in God makes sense of pain.  He offers eternal life, a heavenly body, and a final judgment.  Everyone lives through hurt, difficulty, and death.  Faith in God can take every situation and turn it into a positive one.  Dark nights of the soul are moments when we can run from God, but that never makes life any better.  The help, health, and hope we need are only found in a God who loves us so much that he sent his son that we might have eternity with him. 

When life is at its most challenging, lean into God and learn to trust him more.  That does not mean that things will immediately get better, but it does give us a perspective that there is hope to be found somewhere in the story.  The old song used to say, “Leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.”  That is the place where grace and goodness are found, and there is no good reason to run from them. 

I was visiting a site that is directed at youth ministers.  The webpage seeks to help people who teach and lead Jr. and Sr. High school ministries in their local Churches.  I read through the content and gathered ideas for the Church I serve when an article caught my eye.  I started reading it and then the comments that followed it.  One of the most popular ones was written by a teenager, and he stated his viewpoint on the material; “The Church is answering questions no one is asking.”

I understood his point.  The Church needs to be relevant to the needs of today’s teenagers.  The people who lead youth need to understand video games, popular apps, computer trends, and current fads impacting the lives of the young people in their groups.  A lecture on “The Evils of Rock and Roll Music” is probably not the most relevant of messages. 

At the same time, I wanted to type in this simple reply to his comment; “Exactly.”  Just because no one is asking specific questions, that does not mean they are not significant issues.  Most people are too obsessed with what is hot, new, current, or relevant.  Life’s biggest concerns do not fall into those categories.  People need to hear about sin and forgiveness.  They need instruction in holy living that brings a lifetime of good results along with the destructive behaviors that haunt someone for years.  The topics of an eternal heaven and hell do not seem significant until someone knows life tragically ends.  There are questions that every human being needs to wrestle with throughout their life, even if the issues are not trendy. 

Just because everyone you know is not asking questions about faith and God, do not assume they are unimportant topics.  Some people are ignoring and avoiding these things to their demise.  Maybe the reason to go to Church is because it asks questions that no one else is asking. 

A Church consultant recently shared a quote that is attributed to Walt Disney.  It was written on a whiteboard in the meeting room of a business to inspire its workers.

“Whatever you do, do it well. Do it so well when people see you do it, they will want to come back and see you do it again, and they will want to bring others and show them how well you do what you do.”

The question that I have is, “What if we took this approach to our ministry?” 

This is true for paid staff in a Church.  I desire to preach so well that people want to come and listen, then return with their friends. 

But the application could be for everyone who volunteers also.  When someone works in the nursery, do they do it well?  When someone teaches in our children’s ministry, do they do it to the best of their ability?  This could be asked of small group leaders, greeters, worship team members, and a whole host of other ministries. 

Let’s be honest, Walt wanted people to do this for the money.  He wanted people to pay and then have their friend come back, and they would pay too.  It is a good business strategy. However, in the Church, we do not do it for money; instead, we long for God to say one day, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”  That should give us reason enough to do things well.

Frequently, we need people to stop and explain the events we just experienced.  We need a medical expert to take tests and tell us what happened inside our body when we were in that accident.  Each year, I consult a tax expert to evaluate my income and spending to help me understand what is happening with my return.  Many of us tune into some weather station to help us know what is happening outside and what we can expect soon.  We do not have enough knowledge to adequately understand what is going on in every situation.

This is also true for our spiritual life.  Another reason God puts believers into a community of faith is to have fellow believers’ wisdom and insight.  Some of the instruction may come from paid leaders who have years of training and experience.  Other people can guide us because they have the space to see what friends are missing or unwilling to say.  Finally, there is always a need for close relationships who know us well and can see the things to which we have become blind. 

Just because you are experiencing something does not mean that you understand what is happening.  We need people to help clarify where we might be failing or where God might be working.  Our knowledge is too limited to know what is going on spiritually in every situation adequately.  We need people to help us understand ourselves, and they need us to help them. 

I stood on the beach and watched this thing moved down the shoreline.  Finally, this dark blob moving under the water poked up its head to draw a breath.  I can’t say that I have ever seen anything like it in person.  It was a wild sea cow or manatee swimming down the beach, enjoying the people and the day. 

After seeing this fantastic spectacle of nature, I turned to say something to my wife, who was standing there with me.  Behind her, I could see at least forty people holding their phones, taking pictures, or videoing this moment.  I asked one person if they saw its head pop up and look around as it moved down the beach.  They said no but informed me that they had the whole thing on video. 

A sadness swept over me.  These people had not been watching any of the events unfold. Instead, they were filming the whole thing.  They were not enjoying the moment because they were documenting it. 

With the existence of technology, we became convinced that we need to record everything somewhere along the way.  Maybe it is because we hope we will video something that will make us rich or famous. Perhaps some people sit down and relive these moments with friends or relatives.  I understand there are several good reasons to record these experiences, but I doubt that is true for most people. 

My encouragement for anyone is quite basic.  When you have special moments in life, truly take the time to experience them.  Put your phone down when you hold that newborn and breathe deep.  Smell that precious life and listen to them making noises only a baby makes.  When you encounter a snow-capped mountain for the first time, leave the phone in the car and stand quietly before the awe-inspiring majesty of God’s creation. Take the time to feel the Spirit of God stir your soul when someone sings their praise for God with perfect pitch.  Close your eyes and encounter the wonder of each moment that God gives you in the presence of something truly extraordinary.  Enjoy the blessings of this life and write them indelibly on your soul. 

Honestly, no one wants to watch your home video anyway.  They may watch and speak nicely, but they do not care because second-hand experiences don’t hold the same feelings.  Be sure you do not miss all God is doing in your life while you try to document it all for people who don’t care.  No one wants to know if you have recorded a manatee; they want to know if you have genuinely seen one. 

When there have been challenging seasons in my life, it has always been good to have people who cared. But, unfortunately, most of the time, those wonderful individuals had no way of helping me.  They could not walk into my darkness and fix all my problems. 

Sure, some people have tried to offer advice to make my life better.  Everyone is well-intentioned with their words when someone is hurting. 

But the people who made the most significant difference were those who simply chose to stand beside me through my pain and hurt.  They would sit quietly beside me while I cried.  Stand beside me and offer a shoulder to lean on when I needed it.  Their comfort came from their presence and nothing more. 

I think most people are not looking for you to eliminate the pain in their life.  They know you do not have that kind of power. Instead, they are seeking someone to stand beside them and never leave them alone. 

Context is critical.  This is true when reading the Bible more than anywhere else.  When someone plucks a passage out from its original setting, it can be a recipe for misuse and abuse of God’s word.

This is also true for someone who teaches the Bible. A person can sit in the auditorium on Sunday and listen to a sermon and then totally take it the wrong way.  They can pull a story away from its original setting, a quote without noting the context, and twist the words of a preacher to make them say anything too. 

It is significant to notice how each explanation and illustration ties to the overall theme whenever you listen to someone teach the Bible.  Focus intently on hearing the sermon’s big idea and then break down the parts into an application that fits the lesson.  If you do not do this, you can misunderstand and misapply what the preacher is saying.

Too often, I hear people quote a Biblical teacher or share a story that they told and completely miss the point.  Be careful how you read the Bible and be deliberate in how you receive instructions in the scripture. 

When someone takes a lecture on the word of God and misuses it, it can lead them astray along with the people who learn from them. It is dangerous to everyone when we take sermons the wrong way. 

Recently I heard an analogy that I thought was helpful.  It is not original to me, and I do not know the source, but I will share it anyway.

Faith is like driving at night with only your headlights to guide the way. 

Imagine a night, and you are lost in the country.  Cell reception is sketchy at best, and you are not exactly sure where you are going.  The good news is that your car is running great, and both headlights work flawlessly.  With just those lights, you can see a few hundred yards ahead of you.  If you take it slow and steady, driving with those lights to guide you, you can make the progress you need.  Mile by mile, you will move toward safety and the direction that will take you home.

Faith is like those headlights.  It will not reveal everything to you.  In fact, it will only guide a little into the future.  But if you follow God’s leading, he will take you one day at a time safely into the unknown.  That will move you forward a week, a month, and then a year.  Over a lifetime of following his light, you will finally find your way home. 

Their marriage was hanging by a thread.  They were both angry, frustrated, and ready to give up.  My issue was they didn’t seem to care.  Neither one appeared willing to change their communication, take counseling seriously, or put extra effort into making their relationship work. 

When couples reach this point, there are a few phrases I hear repeatedly.  One is, “It’s their fault.”  Placing blame on the other person releases us from the burden of changing our behavior.  Another is, “We will just have to see how things work out.”  That is translated as I am not going to put any extra effort into this situation. 

If you want your marriage to improve, there is only one person you can control.  That is you!  Are you willing to do whatever it takes to make your relationship improve? 

The couples who enjoy long, happy marriages are not those with few struggles.  It is those who commit to not going down without a fight.  They seek counsel, make changes, improve themselves and pour into their spouse with all their might. 

The question is rarely, “Can this marriage survive?” Instead, it is usually, “Am I doing everything I can to help it survive?”

Recently, my wife, one of my sons, and I went on vacation to the beach.  It was a glorious week of relaxation, good food, taking in the sights, and enjoying each day.  Each evening we went to the beach to watch the sunset.  One morning we rose early to see the sunrise.  It was five days in paradise that I am thankful to have enjoyed.

When the week was over, we had the typical dread of returning to our old lives.  Normal means the days are packed full, and there is little time to enjoy each day’s pleasures. 

This has me wondering if it is possible to bring a little bit of vacation living to every single day. How would our lives be different if we took time each day to be thankful and enjoy the moment?  What if we watched the sunset or the sunrise?  Would our perspective be different if we went to a local attraction and looked at it as a person on vacation?

One of the beautiful parts of the Bible is the Psalms. It is a book of poetry and songs that reflect the majesty of God in this world. I imagine David as a shepherd boy sitting quietly in the hills watching the world unfold before him. Then, he takes out a pen and writes words after watching the red sky in the evening as the sun melts into the horizon like, “the fool has said in his heart there is no God.”  I mean, when you have seen beauty and colors like that, there is no doubt that there is someone beyond this world. 

Maybe vacation living is about recapturing a bit of Eden.  It is taking time to notice God in the every day. Perhaps he has revealed himself all around us, but we must slow down to see it.