Christians universally agree that we are all sinners.  Each one of us has done and continues to do things that break the laws of God.  We fail and fall short daily.  The good news of Jesus is that God offers forgiveness and grace to us in more significant measure than our sin. 

That also means that personally, I have done things that I regret.  My words have been unkind, and my lips have lied.  There have been moments of lust, anger, greed, and idolatry of which I am not proud.  I have sinned.  And so have you.

With all that said, if I were to ask you about a particular person, what stories come to mind?  You have one of two choices:  remember the bad or remember the good. 

I have found that when I ask about someone, quite often, I am told about one bad story that happened with that person that we cannot forget. “Oh, he is the guy who shouted angrily at the meeting,” we recall. “That is the lady who shared that piece of gossip that hurt my feelings,” we share. “Remember when he was in trouble with the law, and the police came to his house?” The list of possible stories goes on and on.  

It does not take much effort to remember that one bad thing someone did because we all do them every single day.  The challenging work is to practice forgiveness and grace.  It is difficult to choose to forget the ugliness of someone’s life.  To say to the world, I will not let that story define their life or my relationship with them.  Being a Christian requires us to act like Jesus, especially when we have been wronged in some way. 

It is easy to find a group of people who have negative stories about others.  It is more challenging to find people who will share positive stories.  It is near impossible to find a group that will practice forgiveness of every incident of lousy behavior.  But this is what the Church seeks to become, a collection of forgiven people who offer forgiveness to others. 

You and I may have done that one bad thing, but that should not define us.  I know I don’t want it to define me, and I am pushing myself not to let it define you.

I told my professor that what he said was so meaningful because it helped shape my heart and mind.  Then I told him what he had stated with such confidence that meant so much to me.  He smiled and replied, “That sounds like something I would say, but I don’t remember saying it.” 

I was shocked that he could not recall his words that I had memorized and written on the walls of my heart.  Then I entered the ministry and found the same thing happening to me.  People would approach me and tell me how much something I had said impacted their life.  Meanwhile, I could not remember ever saying it. 

This phenomenon happens for several reasons.  First, someone who speaks for a living, like my professor and me, tends to forget the specifics of what we say.  I can tell you all the big picture information but not the details of what I say.  Second, sometimes what connects with people are what I would call “throwaway statements.” These are made at the moment as my mind moves over the material and has little forethought.  Finally, the power of God’s Spirit working when someone speaks on his behalf is unpredictable. He might take something and change a life by words the speaker thought was meaningless. 

To communicate information about the kingdom of God is a unique task.  You never know when God will take the words you said and use them to further his work in someone’s life.  The best thing to do is to keep talking about God while he does his mighty deeds through you.  God only knows when that will happen or what you will say, so keep speaking till the meaningful words arrive.

Certain people walk into our lives and change us for the better.  These people can range from teachers and professors to coworkers and friends.  They are not planned for and often not sought after.  Something happens, and suddenly this person is helping us to think, believe and live differently. 

These people speak the truth into our lives that everyone else was ignoring.  They confront our crazy ideas with facts and reason.  They inspire us to attempt new ventures.  They calm the madness in our lives and encourage us to keep moving forward despite our issues.  They bring joy and laughter when we are down.  They inspire, instruct, and guide us in ways we never imagined.

We are always looking for ways to improve our lives.  We often search for more information, better advice, and convenient hacks that can be digested on our phones while waiting on our next event.  What if the way to grow was found through people?

Maybe we do not require more information; perhaps we need better people around us.  

The book of Hebrews has a statement that every Church attendee should know. 

Hebrews 13:17 Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.

Let me begin by acknowledging the word “submit.” Some ill-intentioned leaders have used this word to abuse their power.  They shout, “You have to do what I say.” Their promotion of this verse is not the way of Jesus or a proper understanding of submission.  This one word has made this verse something leaders shy away from and has caused many to dismiss it.  I will move past a complete explanation of this submission but know that I am not promoting the abuse of power by any leader, especially religious. 

The rest of the verse is gold.  Let me summarize it this way, “Trust your leaders, so their work is a joy.” 

As a long-time Church leader, I must underline this truth; please trust your leaders.  Not everything they do is perfect, and mistakes have been made, but they know more than you do about the situation.  There are stories you do not know; they might not even be able to share.  There has been research put into issues, prayers offered, and conversations of which you know nothing.  The rumors and gossip shared with you by those others than the leaders are biased and almost always wrong.  Simply trust your leaders or find leaders you can trust.

When a group of people or individuals stirs up a lack of trust in their leaders, it doesn’t take long until no one wants to be a leader.  There is no joy in the work, and they can go anywhere to find abuse and dissension. 

Then there is this final line, “For that would be of no benefit to you.” Whenever leadership is undermined in their work, leaders get scared to make decisions, become apathetic and quit.  Then a Church is left without the people willing to stand up, and they drift into ineffectiveness, routine, and chaos.  Often the loudest complainer takes charge, and their leadership is negative and destructive.  Gossip, rumors, backbiting, anger, and disunity are not beneficial to the Church or to the individual believer in any way.  Never.  Nope.  Never. 

A healthy Church is about Jesus first and foremost.  It is also a place where leaders are allowed to make decisions and even mistakes.  If you place your confidence in them and help their work be a joy, everyone is happy, and the Church moves forward.  Whenever you encounter someone who is promoting a cause against the leaders, you are only hurting yourself by supporting them.  A strong Church leadership is not perfect, but it can build a healthy congregation through the Holy Spirit’s power and the support of everyone.   

Through the years, I have noticed that when someone goes through a significant life change successfully, they immediately want to help other people do the same thing. 

They lose weight, and now they want to help others do the same.  A couple rebuilds their marriage, and they feel closer than ever, so they want to help other struggling couples.  Their children are successful in school, and they want to tell other parents their secrets. 

The real issue that is often overlooked is the need for long-term change.  For example, last year I knew three people who lost weight.  Each one was proud of their accomplishment and was advising other people.  Unfortunately, all three of them I have seen recently and have become a statistic.  The numbers tell us that people who lose weight usually gain it all back plus twenty percent more.  Yep, if you are not careful, your excellent weight loss can make you heavier in the long term. 

I want to know about people who have made life changes and where they are in one year, five years, ten years, or longer? 

The next time you want to improve your life in any way, the best place to get help is not your friend who recently overcame an obstacle. Instead, seek the wisdom of people who made changes years ago and have maintained their lifestyles.  Their changes may have been forgotten with time, but their knowledge might give you true victory. 

Short-term changes are inspiring but have little value over a lifetime.  Long-term changes are more complex but are well worth the extra effort for both today and tomorrow.    

Did Jesus play board games with his friends?  Did he ever watch the sporting events of his time with family and friends? Did Jesus maintain a garden with his family and enjoy the harvest on a fabulous fall day?  Did he talk about the weather and make small talk with people on occasions?  What was it like to spend a holiday with Jesus? 

As a human, I am sure Jesus had to engage in some of the trivial things of life that we all do regularly.  What was that like? 

The stories in the Bible do not give us any clue.  They are focused on the spiritual moments.  The gospels tell us of his mighty works and amazing teaching.  Those stories are powerful and impressive, but they only take up a few pages of a life that lasted over 33 years. 

What was it like to spend time with Jesus doing trivial things? Since the Bible does not tell us those stories, I guess the best thing to do would be to watch his followers.  If they are walking the way of Jesus, then we should see Him in everything they do.

One of the challenges of a believer is to show Jesus in every detail of life, even those mundane moments.  Character is revealed in significant spiritual moments and in the things you do every day, even when you think no one will notice.    

Recently I, an outspoken preacher, was asked a theological question and went blank.  I was involved in a friendly debate and was asking some insightful questions.  When they responded with an equally good question, I could not think of a response.  The verses slipped my mind, and I was speechless. 

I tell you this story to remind you that you will never have all the correct answers. Even preachers don’t know what to say sometimes.  No one knows everything and can remember it all on command.  Do not expect that of yourself either.

Many Christians do not like to talk about their faith because they fear not having the correct answer.  The truth is, there will be a conversation that you will not know or remember how to respond.  It is simply part of life, even for believers. 

Since our dialogue, I bought a book, read it, made notes, and committed things to memory.  An answer was out there, and I found someone who could articulate it, and I learned from them.  My primary response was to find a solution and be prepared for the next conversation.  Maybe it will be with the same person, or possibly someone else. 

Moments where we don’t know how to respond can be embarrassing, or they could be the situations that propel us forward.  I now know more than I did and have learned this topic thoroughly.  I am all set until the next time a person asks me something I do not know.  Then I will repeat the process of learning.  Every interaction like this could end with a bit of embarrassment, but it could also be just what we need to grow. 

Everyone has a unique perspective. 

We see life through our own eyes.  No one else has our vantage point. 

This is why the Bible says that every judicial decision should be established on two or three witnesses.  It is a practice that still exists today.  To completely understand a story, there must be multiple people sharing was they saw from their perspective. 

The gospel story is the same way.  We have Matthew’s view as a tax collector turned follower of Jesus.  Mark writes down the stories of Peter.  The gospel according to Luke, is the collection of multiple sources who spent time with Jesus.  The final gospel of John is the most unique. 

John was written years later, and he wanted to write something different than the accounts already being shared.  Much of his gospel is built on the final week of Jesus’ life.  Within his story, he shares something that reveals his unique perspective.  He doesn’t call himself by name; instead, he refers to himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” Jesus was the same, and his work had not changed, but John’s view was through the eyes of a man who had a special relationship with Jesus. 

Upon rereading the words of John, I was gripped by the thought, “What is my version of the story of Jesus?” Am I the sinner whom Jesus saved?  Maybe I could be called the rebellious child whose father welcomed him home?  Perhaps I am better seen as the preacher who was saved by the grace he preaches?  I am not sure what label best describes me.  God is doing a work in me, and no one understands his efforts the same way that I do. 

The same is true for you.  Your relationship with Jesus is unique, and the Church needs to hear your version of the story.  It can be told in large groups, small gatherings, or in one-on-one situations.  It doesn’t matter where you share it, as long as you are sharing it somewhere.  The work of Jesus is being revealed in you, and you have a one-of-a-kind story to tell. 

A random person’s opinion of me doesn’t matter to me.  It should not matter to you either.

After all, they do not know us.  They do not know our family of origin and the battles it took to get this far.  They do not know how much we have learned from our mistakes.  Our experiences, success and failures, lessons, and insights are foreign to them.  They certainly do not know me well, and I doubt they know you. 

Yet, we live in a world that increasingly cares about what random people think about us.  We allow them to comment on our social media posts with ideas that have no context.  Their comments haunt our minds as their negative statements somehow seem more believable. 

They certainly want us to know their thoughts, and they cannot just scroll past and leave their ideas unsaid.  They talk to people and share stories built on half-truths to convince others that they should hold the same view of us.  Their words hurt, even when I don’t know them. 

I want you to know today, while I remind myself, that some people’s opinions of us do not count.  They should be ignored entirely and forgotten if they are accidentally heard or read.  Not everyone has the right to speak into our lives, and their opinions are a burden we do not need to carry with us.  Let it go, and let’s move forward with the people who love us and want the best for us.  Critics abound, so consider the opinions of only a sacred few. 

Our primary concern in the world is ourselves.  Even Jesus affirms this when he says that we are to love others “as we love ourselves.”

The result is that we like to meet our needs, serve our self-interests, and talk about ourselves. We are at the center of our concern, and it bubbles into every relationship. 

Unfortunately, that is the path to loneliness, isolation, and despair. The more we are focused on ourselves, the fewer people want to be around us.  All of us know that one person who fills us with dread when they contact us because it will be all about them.  We know they will suck the life out of us primarily because they are so self-centered. 

Faith in Jesus is an “other’s focused” religion.  We love God, AND we love others as we love ourselves.  Christians elevate the people around them above themselves in every way. 

If I spent one day with you, what would I see and hear?  Do all your conversations focus on you and your needs?  Would I see a person who asks other people about their lives?   Do you elevate people with your deeds and actions?  Are you always the one who goes first and gets the best?   When you do a good deed, do you make sure other people notice your participation?  

One of the most brutal battles faith wages in your life is with self-centeredness.  How would your life be different if you said to yourself in every encounter, “Remind me, Jesus, that it is not all about me.”