Today, July 5, 2016, my parents celebrate their 57th wedding anniversary. Through the years I have written several posts about each of them individually, but I have never written about them together. I have spent 44 years watching them live, work and share together as a couple. Through those years I have learned some big lessons about love, service and sacrifice. I have also learned several smaller pieces of information that are useful to know.

1. Do the small things for one another.
Through the years I have watched my mom pay attention to all of my dad’s little peculiarities. She makes sandwiches just the way he likes them. At the same time, my dad is always on the lookout for some small piece of jewelry that mom might like. Not every choice has been great, but he has also done some really nice things. I have watched each one pay special attention to the other and respond accordingly.

2. Never give up.
I have seen my parents disagree. I have seen my parents fight. I know their marriage has had some difficult seasons. But to my knowledge I have never heard the word “divorce” ever mentioned in their relationship. I have never had a doubt that my parents would stay together. Leaving each other was never an option.

3. Hold your tongue.
I know there have been times when my mom wanted to explode. I have sat in a boat and listened to my dad voice his concerns just to get it off his chest. Both of them had the same frustrations all of us feel in a marriage. I have never seen them vocalize their total anger at one another. Usually they have chosen to hold their tongue rather than say something that would destroy the other person.

4. Know your role.
While people often mock men and women having traditional roles in marriage today, my parents proved that some traditions work. Mom would have dinner on the table by 5:00 pm when dad got home. Then dad would go and work in the garden for hours. If we went fishing we would come home and dad would clean the fish while mom got supper ready. One of them would zig while the other would zag. Working together as a team is a thing of beauty.

5. Show true concern.
Over the last several years I have watched mom and dad try to take care of each other. They traveled to the doctor together. They sat in waiting rooms filled with fear. They have served each other to the best of their ability. Recently, mom had worked hard to take care of her man. I have watched in silence as my mom handles the deep struggles of dad’s stroke with love and compassion. I know her heart is breaking but she continues to hang tough.

My parents are not perfect. I would never pretend otherwise. They are two people with a deep faith in Jesus who love one another. Through the years they have stayed together to leave a legacy of love for my sister, brother and I to follow. I hope they have a great day and I thank them for all they have taught me.

This week I have look at my regrets and my best decisions. I want to finish this train of thought by writing about my dreams for the future. Here are some of my goals, hopes and dreams if the Lord allows me to live long enough.

1. Spiritual Growth – I want to continue making daily deposits in my life through Bible reading and prayer. I really want to know not just the Bible better, but know God better. I want to understand deep theology and be able to explain it. I want to teach and answers questions from a clear understanding of our Creator and Redeemer.

2. Church Development – I always want to lead a Church that is growing both numerically and spiritually. I pray that God will make it clear to me when I am standing in the way of growth and what I can do to help it. More specifically I would love to connect with other independent Christian Churches in rural America. I would love to build a network that would allow Churches like mine in small communities to work together for the growth of God’s kingdom.

3. Family Development – One of my biggest dreams is to see my children grow up to follow Jesus as adults. I want them to serve in their local Church and lead congregations with love and authority. It is not enough for me to say that “they believe in Jesus.” I want my children to follow Jesus with their lives and into their Churches and into their marriages and then into their families. I want to see the faith that I hold so dear living in my children and grandchildren.

4. Professional Life – I have always had a dream to write a book. Some preachers take a sermon series and turn it into a book. Other people take their blog and turn it into a book. I have thought about both, but they seem to really shortcut the whole writing process. I want to set down and write a full book that is worth reading from the beginning to the end. I have a list of topics I want to write about and one day I hope to have time to get it done.

5. Personal Life – I want to travel. I would love to see all 50 states before I die. I have been to about half already. I believe God has created a world filled with beauty and majesty and I would love to see as much as I am able. I also hope I am able to do it with my wife and maybe even my children.

Honestly, I think that life needs to be lived in three directions. We need to look back and learn from our experiences even if they were not all good. We need to look around and live out of strong convictions right now. Finally, we need to look to the future and have dreams for the days that God has given us. This week I have explored some of my thoughts with you. I hope they have inspired you and challenged you. I hope you will create your own lists and that your future will be bright as you live in the light of God’s grace.

Yesterday I explored the idea of my biggest regrets in life. While I have made some mistakes in life I have also made some good decisions. Here are some of the best decisions:

1. Following Jesus
By far the best decision of my life has been confessing Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Through the years God has directed my life while offering me grace for all those mistakes. He has blessed me, challenged me and forced me to be a better person. His grace has met all my needs.

2. Marrying My Wife
The second biggest decision anyone makes is who they marry. For me I was blessed to find a woman who also follows Jesus. She has been a blessing to my life and my ministry. As my professor told me at college, “I really married above myself.”

3. Never Fearing Change
My wife and I have spent 22 years living the adventure of following Jesus together. We have changed Churches, homes, states and habits. Our worship style has changed, my preaching has changed and our friends have changed. We have experienced all kinds of wonderful activities and met lots of wonderful people. Being willing to change has helped us live this great adventure with God to the full.

4. Telling People I Love Them Regularly
I try not to let a day go by that I do not tell the people in my life that I love them. I try to tell my parents, my children and my wife. Over the years I have lost a lot of people and I have always wondered how they felt about me. I never want anyone to wonder about me and my feelings for them.

5. Taking Time to Laugh Everyday
I take time to enjoy everyday. I read comic strips, read funny stories, listen to comedians and watch funny shows. Most of my life is very serious and I deal with issues of eternity. I help struggling people while trying to point them to Jesus. I pray, I study and I spend time thinking about God. I always need to be reminded of joys in life and not just the struggles. I need to smile and experience light moments that make life more pleasant. A preacher I know likes to say that being able to laugh is the surest sign of grace in your life. I think he is right.

I have made thousands of other decisions through the years and some of them have also worked out well. But these big decisions have guided my life and made me the person I am today. I hope and pray your life is filled with good decisions that bring you grace, joy and happiness all of your days.

Sometimes it is good to stop and reflect on life. I suppose I have been doing that a lot more lately as I face my father’s mortality. I have been rethinking my 44 years and trying to make some course adjustments for the next 40 years. Upon reflections I have seen some of the biggest mistakes I have made.

1. Not Making Small Investments Daily
I really wish I had made a daily habit to read my bible, pray, write something and read a book when I was young. All of these things I have done as I have gotten older and I am amazed at how much I have accomplished. All I can think is why didn’t I do this 20 years earlier?

2. Not Enjoying the Moment
This is hard for everyone. There is always the next class, the next project, the next child, the next job, the next this and the next that. As a result we, at least me, it is rare that I stop and enjoy this moment. I wish I was able to take time each day and stop to enjoy my life. I am so blessed. I have to remember daily to put the phone down, put the camera away, shut my mouth and just enjoy the blessings of that moment.

3. Placing Value on Things Over Experiences
I wish I had taken my money and done more with it. Through the years I have bought cassettes and then Compact Disks. None of which are in my possession any more. I wish I had taken that money and took a friend to a concert. And that is just one example of poor purchasing. I wish I had traveled more. I wish I had taken that year off of college to serve on a mission field. I wish I had done so much more than collect boxes of junk.

4. Letting Sin Win in My Life
I am not going to be real specific on here, but I will tell you that I have made 3 or 4 colossal mistakes in my life. All of them happened when I stepped outside of God’s will and tried to live life on my own terms. I let my flesh win and I quickly regretted that decision. There are some decisions I wish I had never made, but thanks be to God, “I am forgiven.”

The good news is that God gave us today. We do not have to live with regrets as the dominant emotion in our life. I love that line, “Morning by morning, new mercies I see.” I can get up each day and start fresh. I can get up today and do things better than yesterday. It is one thing to live with some regrets, it is another to let them define you.

I need to take a few minutes today to update people on several things going on around Adrian Christian Church

1. Office Administration – At the beginning of June our office administrator, Tisha Costigan, stepped down to accept another job. The Church leadership prayed about the next move for our Church and suddenly God opened a door. Gus Arndt graduated from Ozark Christian College and moved home to temporarily help with the family farm. He offered to help the Church by filling the position of secretary along with being able to help with various ministerial duties. After more discussion and prayer we offered Gus the position of Office Administrator working for the Church. He will work four days a week for a total of 26 hours. Today is his first day.

2. Church office – The Church office will be staffed Monday through Thursday from 8:00 am till 3:30 pm. The office will be closed on Friday. Any info for the program must be to the office by Thursday afternoon, including prayer requests.

3. Children’s Minister – We are a tiny little bit closer to finding a children’s minister. We have one candidate that has made it further than any other. Our next step appears to be a formal interview. Please continue in your prayers as we search for the right person for ACC.

4. Vacation Bible School (VBS) – Our theme for the year is Cave Quest. We will be decorating on Sunday July 10 starting immediately after worship. The children will meet each night from 5:30-8:30 pm on July 11-14 (Monday-Thursday). There is a snack/light dinner provided. If you have any questions please contact me or register through the church website.

5. VBS closing program – our closing program this year will be on July 17. The children will be performing during worship. We will be having a fellowship lunch immediately after worship. The Church is providing the meat and potatoes. Bring a side dish or dessert if you can. We invite everyone to hang around and eat with us after church. (Please note – there will not be any inflatables outside this year)

6. Central Missouri Campus House – On Sunday July 24th we will have representative from the Campus House at Central Missouri here to tell us about their work. They will be presenting an update during our worship time and we hope you will join us to hear about all that God is doing on the university campus. We are trying to help them by collecting several paper products for the coming year. There is a collection tub in the entryway to the Church.

7. Christ in Youth – We have a group of over 20 teenagers heading to CIY this year on the last week of July. Please be in prayer for them while they travel and learn. The teens will return to lead our worship on Sunday July 31. Please come and show your support for our young adults.

8. Email – We have set up a new Church email. If you need to contact the office use the email address of – adrianchurchoffice@gmail.com

That is most of the info I have for now. Please continue to check out our Church website for updates and more information. www.adriancc.org

It is going to be another hot weekend here in Missouri this weekend with possible temps near 100 degrees. So take a little time and sit down to read. Here are some of the best articles and posts I have read in the last month. Enjoy

How to Pray When You Don’t Feel Like It

10 Ways to Grow Your Marriage While Having Young Kids

Why You Need to Stop Filling Your Calendar

10 Thoughts on the Deafening Silence of Parents Today!

FIVE REASONS IT IS SO PAINFUL FOR A PASTOR TO LOSE A CHURCH MEMBER

Your Mission Trip Selfies Aren’t Helping Anyone

20 Things I’ve Learned in the 20 Years Since Graduation

FIFTEEN CRAZY THINGS THAT HAPPENED AT FUNERALS

Try better

There is this tendency in people to desire originality. We want to be smart enough to figure out our life without other people’s help. We feel our way along and try to do the best we can in every situation.

Well, one of the benefits of being in the Church is that we have a community of people to draw upon. We can learn from our own experiences along with the experiences of others. Through the years I have tried to learn from the people in the Church. I ask a lot of questions and try to learn from the failure and success of others. Here are some of the areas I have sought guidance:

1. Spiritual growth
Find a few people who really know their Bible and ask them questions about how they read. Talk to people who have meaningful prayer lives and discover how they pray. We are surrounded by people who serve, give and love with great intensity. How do they do it? What can I learn from them?

2. Marriage
Spend time with people who have had long happy marriages. You can have relationships with couples your own age, but seek the knowledge of those older and wiser.

I would suggest you talk to people who have had your similar life experience. For instance, people who might have had to deal with a spouse who travels just like you. I love talking to people with four children, especially if they had four boys. How did their marriage survive the parenting years? What did they do to make time for themselves?

You also need to have some open conversations with people whose marriages failed. What happened? What would they do differently?

3. Parenting [or Grand-parenting]
Evaluate what your parents did right with you. The hard part is that their weakness will probably be your weakness. Keep the good and be aware of the bad.

Talk to people whose children have grown up to be believers as adults. Many people just emulate what the parents around them are doing. I want to know what people did who raised Godly children and they remained that way as adults.

Also have honest conversations with people whose children have drifted away from the faith. What do they think happened? What would they do differently?

These are just a few of the areas I try to learn from the generation before me. We are part of community called the Church so that we have support, encouragement and can share in a large pool of knowledge. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Ask, talk and learn.

The Bible describes the devil as the “Father of Lies.” When he lies he is simply speaking his native tongue. He distorts the truth and it changes people for the worse. Unfortunately some people believe his lies. Here are ten of the most common lies I have heard in no particular order:

1. I’ll do it tomorrow
The Bible is very clear that we are never promised tomorrow. Some things should not be put off another day.

2. It won’t happen to me or my family
All of us want to think we are immune to sin, struggle and defeat. The hard truth is that most individuals and families will eventually encounter something they never thought possible.

3. The Church is here to serve me
While I believe the Church can be an enormous blessing to the lives of people, it only comes when people start serving others.

4. A little sin won’t hurt
Sin separates us from God and one another. It always leaves a residue of ugliness we can not wash out. We may understand this tomorrow or it may take 20 years but it always hurts in some way.

5. Everything I feel is right
Frequently we want to judge truth by how it makes us feel. If we feel it deeply, then it must be true. We feel this way about issues, about ourselves, about others and even about faith. Truth is truth no matter how it makes you feel

6. The Bible is hard to understand
Taking time to read it is the hard part. The more time you spend reading it, the more simple it is to understand.

7. We are smarter than every generation before us
We feel this way about things like science but it spills over into our ethics and spiritual thinking. Our vast knowledge of the world some how makes us deep people with deep understanding. Rarely is that true.

8. People do not see through my excuses
In 20 years of ministry I have heard excuses for everything. I don’t really believe you, no one does. Yet we keep using them instead of facing the truth.

9. Someone else will do it
We know the needs of teen mothers, the homeless, at risk children and hundreds of other people. We know someone else will help one day soon.

10. No one cares about me
People will sometimes quit Church and when I contact them they tell me that no one cared about them. Then I start a series of probing questions. Did you come early to Church or stay late? Did you invite people over to your house? Did you accept any invitations for anything? Quickly I discover that the truth is no one knew this person. They never opened themselves up to anyone. They wanted relationships while living in a box of impenetrable secrecy. People want to care but we often do not let them. That is a different from saying that no one cares.

I know there are other lies people believe everyday. Little deceptions and distortions that cloud how we see God, other people and the world in general. One job of every believer is to be continually searching for the truth. Only when we know the truth shall we truly be set free.

I have heard it over a thousand times. I have probably said it over a hundred times. “I am just a sinner saved by grace.” It is a true statement. There is the truth of Romans 3:23 that “all sin and fall short of the glory of God.”

The problem that this is not the primary titled given to believers in the New Testament.

Followers of Jesus are called Christians. We wear the name of Christ. Like a new bride taking the name of her husband we have changed our identity to align with Christ. That new name is used three times in the New Testament to describe the Church.

Most frequently in the Bible the believers in Jesus are called saints. By my count there are 45 times the New Testament calls the followers of Jesus saints. Because of the Catholic faith using the term to describe people who lived long ago, we as modern believers do not use the title very much. Biblically it means one who has separated themselves from the world and been set apart for God. That basically means we have rejected the sin of the world and are trying to live our lives for God.

We are not just sinners saved by grace. We are saints set apart for God.

One name is an ugly description of where we were in life. The other is a proclamation of where we are going in the future. One is a statement of our failure. The other a declaration of our victory in Jesus. In one word picture we are grabbed as a valuable item from the trash. In the other word we are a valued item that is placed upon the shelf. One can be used as an excuse to stay dirty. One is motivation to clean yourself up.

Don’t get me wrong. I still believe I am a sinner and I am saved by grace. But that is not all I am. I am a saint set apart for God. I never want to lose sight of my value in God’s eyes or make excuse for my sin. I may not be perfect but in Jesus my failures do not define me.

Over the past couple months I have felt my life slowly coming unraveled. I have watch my dad’s health rapidly deteriorate, my mom has been sick, my oldest son is getting ready to leave for college, the attendance at the Church I serve has been way down, ministries are struggling and a dozen other little things have gone wrong.

As a result I can feel myself getting more and more negative. The glass is half empty and it is because someone is too lazy to fill it full or someone has simply taken the rest from me. I am daily battling anger, loneliness, depression and apathy. My basic instincts are to withdrawal and quit. Throwing in the towel is often the quickest and easiest solution.

With these feelings growing inside of me I am trying to make an intentional effort to stay positive. I am going to try to refocus my life on some of the good things. I admit this is a daily struggle and I wanted to share what I am trying to do to stay positive.

1. Focus On God
I think one of the biggest reasons I struggle is because I take my eyes off of Jesus. When the mountains seem big, I have to remember that my God is bigger. His ways are not my ways and his plans are different from my plans. For me this is a matter of worship. I need to be more focused during Sunday worship, I need to listen to more worship songs and I need to quiet my soul from all of the technological distractions.

2. Pray
I know this is the Sunday School answer to everything, but it is usually the right answer. Give your problems to God and allow him to take the negatives and turn them into positives.

3. Remember the Blessings of God
While things can seem difficult at times I am reminded of all the good things God has given me. My life is filled with loving parents, a beautiful wife, four great boys, great Church leadership, financial resources and I live in a country of plenty. Sometimes we just need to count our blessings.

4. Flip Everything Over
Every negative experience often has a positive on the other side, we just need to flip over our thinking. My dad may be failing but I am thankful that he has lived 81 years and always been a part of my life. His sickness has brought me closer to my mother. God has been teaching me compassion and a love for senior citizens. The glass may just be half full.

5. Connect with People
As an introvert I tend to enjoy my privacy. When I struggle I feel like pulling away from people even more. I would rather suffer in silence alone than bother anybody. God is teaching me to open up and bring people into my life rather than push them away. Other people can be a source of joy and support.

While I am sure the dark clouds of life will remain over my life for a little while longer, I am also sure that God can take this rain and grow some beautiful flowers. I can either take this time to help them grow or I allow it to ruin my life. I am asking God to teach me and use me during this time. If you are struggling, I pray God does the same for you.