Not all memories of Christmas bring joy.

The last picture of my father was on Christmas 2016. He is clearly frail but has a big smile in a totally mismatched outfit. After the initial stroke, the feel of the clothing became much more important than color or style. My mom stepped up behind him, sitting in a chair, and they snapped his final picture as he died two weeks later. 

I keep that picture on my phone under a file labeled “favorites.” Each year at this time, I take it out and cry. I miss that man more than I ever thought was possible. He was my father and my best friend. And each year, his memory slips further away with every passing Christmas.

This time of year, there will be celebrations and joy for many people. But for some, it will bring up memories of loss and hurt. Unfortunately, Christmas does not bring joy to all.

So this year, be sensitive to others. Say a prayer for those struggling. And most of all, be sure to tell those close to you how much you love them before all you have is old photos and memories.

Through the years, I have noticed that people primarily come to follow Jesus in one of three ways. First, they make an intellectual decision based on facts and explanations. Second, they make an emotional decision based on their feelings. Third, they make a relationship decision based on their desire to live in a right relationship with God.

These decisions can happen at any time. I have known people to get caught up in the emotions around the fire at a camp, and others have felt it during Sunday morning worship. Still, others have been reading a book in a dorm room when they discovered the truth of scripture and gave their life to Jesus, while others have been sitting in a Bible study. 

What I have discovered is that no matter how and when you come to follow Jesus, you eventually need to make all three of these decisions to be a mature believer.

Each one of us needs to surrender our minds to Jesus. We need to give him the lead in our intellect and knowledge. Each one of us also needs to submit our emotions to him. We need to feel the weight of our sin and the depth of his love. This will allow us to be emotionally connected to God. Finally, we must realize that living for Jesus is about a relationship with God. It was not a one-time choice, and we are done with him. It is a lifetime of growing, connecting, and maturing in our faith. We need to understand, feel, and live for Jesus to reach God’s will for our lives.

So, what type of decision have you made for the Lord? Perhaps it is time to surrender more of your life to him. If you have not given him control of your head, heart, and hands, then something is lacking in your faith, and it might be time to commit to Jesus again. 

We assign intents to actions.

Whatever anyone does, we immediately make mental guesses at why they did it.

“Did they do that to help me or to hurt me? Were they purposely trying to do bad or good?”

The problem is that often our guesses are not based on truth. Instead, we arrive at them through speculation, rumors, and misinterpreted evidence. We draw false conclusions and make inaccurate assessments.

Everyone does this, even Christians and even in Churches.

Let me ask, is it possible that the person who did that thing you hated did it without malice? They had no ill intentions. They were not trying to hurt you or upset you. They were simply doing their best and made an honest mistake. Their error in judgment or failure was never meant to be taken negatively.

Most areas of tension I find between Church members are not because someone was done wrong. Instead, it is because someone perceived them to have evil intentions when they did it.

The challenge of people living in community is to listen to their words and not the voices inside your head telling you that it was truly done with malice.

There is this fascinating dynamic that happens between people. The more one person cares about another; the more power one has over the other’s life. Affection and admiration mean that one person’s words and actions can help or hurt to a different degree.

Think about a time that someone you admire said something that touched you. You had put them on a pedestal, and unexpectedly they saw your potential and stated it to you. They praised you and your work. Suddenly your world felt bigger, and you saw an unlimited ability within yourself to achieve more than you initially thought possible.

Then flip that over and think about a time that someone you admired said something that disappointed you. You considered their thoughts insightful, and they looked at your work and said something disparaging. You were crushed in your spirit and had to rethink everything you were doing.

The more we care about someone, the more their words and actions mean to us. It doesn’t matter how they feel about us. What is important is how we feel about them.

All that to say, there is great power in relationships. Parents, grandparents, siblings, children, and friends have unlimited power in the lives of those around them. Because of the child’s love for them, mom and dad’s words to their children will shape their world. A great friend offering encouragement is like a light in the darkness. A word spoken to someone who loves you can bring joy or pain to that person. 

You have more power than you realize over the people with whom you have relationships. So be sure to use your power for good this holiday season.    

Everyone has bad days, weeks, or even seasons in their life. Unfortunately, there are those times when things go wrong, and we are at our worst. We say things that are mean or hurtful. We do things that discourage and damage. We get defensive and mistake your concern for unwanted correction.  

All of us need people who will love us through those times.

A real friend is not someone who is only there for the good days but also for the bad ones. 

Some of us are hard to love, but thanks to the people who do it anyway. Thanks for holding on and helping out. Words are not enough to express the gratitude and appreciation we feel for all you do. We could not make it without you.  

I want to live in a world where magic exists. I would love to attend a Church where miraculous things happen all the time.

Someone could attend, and the band would magically have music all picked out and ready every week without effort. The building would be clean, and the trash would be emptied without anyone having to spend hours working. The children would always have an entertaining and educational lesson that happened without any prep work. The grounds would stay nice, the building decorated, and every maintenance issue would handle itself. A place where classes are taught and small groups are formed without effort from anyone.

But alas, no such place exists. There is no magic Church house. There are only Churches where individuals step up and do their part for the good of everyone.

Each of us can approach the community of faith as a consumer who is there to use and doesn’t care how it happens. Or we could come to it as a servant who is there to make it happen for others. There is no magic, but there are people who serve, and the results are magical.

These are defined as “unconscious resources used to decrease internal stress.” People often devise mechanisms to reduce conflict within themselves. I read articles stating that people use anywhere between five and twenty different ones. While no one agrees on the exact number, everyone understands that these are deep-seated patterns of behavior that each of us uses to handle the uncomfortable issues of life.

The message of the gospel is that you can put down your defenses because everything is handled in Jesus. You need not feel shame, insecurity, denial, or a reason to rationalize. There is no need to repress feelings or project them onto someone else. 

Jesus Christ died so that you might live in grace and forgiveness. As a result, you can let go of whatever bad was done to you and find peace. Not only that, but you can also move beyond your poor decisions, awful mistakes, and emotional failures. 

Most people’s natural inclination is to fight against people getting into the darkest parts of their lives. We try to keep our arms up and people at a distance. God wants to walk into our lives and embrace us with his amazing love.

Believe me, I know it is easier to say or write this than to live it. In Jesus, you can put down your defenses and find peace with God and within yourself. With him, there is no need to defend yourself any longer. 

My wife and I have spent the last few years trying to rid ourselves of the junk that clutters our house. This project started when my youngest boy went off to college. At about that same time, my older boys moved out on their own after college, and one even bought a house.

That set-in motion this project to get rid of all the stuff we collected over their lives. Each of them has tubs of school memorabilia. Posters, pictures, and trophies easily fill up several tubs. Through the years, the school encouraged them to buy more and more items with the year printed on them. And now, none of them want any of it. 

Then there are all the remnants of childhood. Toys that once seemed so important now collect dust. Possessions once viewed as a prize are now worthless trinkets that fill more tubs. And again, the boys do not want to take any junk out of my house.

To make matters worth it, almost all of it is worthless. They all have personal elements. Names, years, and photos attached make them have little value to anyone else. A few items could go online to sell, but I might make only a few dollars for the effort.

Most of the stuff that my money went toward is now dusty, trash, and random junk. 

It is the Christmas season, and there will be a lot of pressure on you to buy more stuff for your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and the neighbor child. My suggestion is that you invest in things that will last. Three things are worth your money. One is giving to the needs of others. Find a way to bless the life of someone who truly needs help. The second is to give to the work of the kingdom of God. Find a missionary or support some ministry that is making a difference for Jesus. The third is to invest in experiences. Do something together with your family before you buy an item. 

You will spend your hard-earned money this holiday season, so be sure you are investing in good things and not just collecting more piles of junk.  

It is defined as the ability to adjust to new conditions.

This is the single most significant trait that Christians need to develop.

Churches and their leaders need it in their methodology. When things like Covid hit, they need the ability to change what they are doing and embrace new possibilities. The conditions in which they do ministry are ever-changing, and they need to be able to adjust their ministry.

Christians need this in their life as well. Life is constantly changing. The season of children’s development, family and work issues, health problems, and the number of activities is never constant. To develop a deep spiritual life, they must continually adapt how, when, and where they connect with God. Some seasons may allow for extended periods of quiet time with God, while others may consist of ten minutes here and there.

When someone sets out on their journey with God, it is easy to envision a consistent and routine life. Unfortunately, it seldom works that way. The key is adaptability; those who lack it die when the tides change.

The man in the commercial said, “I always give my clients 110%.”

His expression is a figure of speech called an idiom. Coaches or bosses most frequently use it to inspire people to give their very best toward a goal. They want to see people giving more than they thought possible to achieve the desired outcome.

Honestly, I do not doubt the man works hard, but I hope he is not giving 110% to his career. I hope he is using some energy to build relationships with people. He needs to be investing time in his family and friends. Relationships are far more important. 

I especially hope he is investing in his spiritual life. At the end of his life, it will not matter how successful he was in his business or how much money he made. Jesus asked, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?” 

Nothing in this life deserves 110% effort. 

It is a good thing to work hard. But save your greatest effort for loving God and loving people. Those are genuinely worth your time and energy.